Hi From Pookie

• by Pookie
• 2013-07-11 04:07:27
• General Posting
• 1119 views
• 2 comments

Hi Everyone,

Got word that some of you are worried and/or concerned about me and my whereabouts.

Let me begin by telling you that I got through my cancer surgery quite well. The only glitch was: I was meant to have a Pain Management Nurse assigned to me (and she was) but for whatever reason she wasn’t in the recovery room (as promised) when I awoke to excruciating pain. So, for those who know me the following won’t surprise you: I had to tell the recovery nurse to get a doctor asap to freeze the area until the PM Nurse decided to show up. They obliged. I had to have this type of nurse because I am already on a high dose of Dilaudid (and have been for many years for another medical issue) so the pain management (post-op) was going to be tricky; we knew this going in. To make a long story short, the PM Nurse finally showed up and connected me to a pain pump then I was wheeled into a ward. A ward??????? I pay a very high price for my medical coverage and I had asked for a private room; obviously none were available. It was for the other patient’s sake as I’m not good at being in pain and cry & whine A LOT. I don’t remember much after they hooked up the pain pump, which is just fine by me. Three days after the surgery I was home. My husband took that week off (when I was in hospital) and the next week, then my twin sister flew in from Minnesota to take over for Lloyd. I truly thought I’d need a lot of help and it ended up being that I didn’t really need any help at all, but when one hasn’t been through something like this before, you know how the mind wanders to the worst case scenario. Anyways, I got to spend 2 weeks with my twin and actually got to do a few things like shop and went out to dinner a few times with her. I ended up with what I call 4 stab wounds and one incision - I guess my days of modeling swimsuits are over. They took just over 1/5th of my left kidney which is still fully functional. Follow up is simple: every year I will have a CT scan and blood work. The re-occurrence rate is 2%.

Now comes the selfish part: I have a lot going on in my life as I’m sure everyone else does too, but the deaths this year just blew my mind and I just couldn’t  find it in me to come on this site and try and help others when I was going thru so much grief. I had 4 deaths all in the month of June. 2 co-workers: one I had grown up with most of my life and the other I had rented their basement apartment from he & his wife when I had first started working with for the city. Then Frank, then Billie. Plus still dealing with the death of my Dad (I’m still having such a difficult time) and all the other stressors life throws at us. I’m just now starting to pull myself together mentally. So that is why I have been absent. I still don’t think I’m  quite ready to come back as I have lost so much of my "umph".  I feel like I have nothing to contribute. But hopefully, with time, I will get back to being the Pookie that you all know.

And....I have some GREAT news to share: Harley, a pacemaker friend I met on here EIGHT years ago is coming to see me this August 18th all the way from Texas!!!!!!!!!! We clicked immediately and have been emailing and webcamming for all of these years and now FINALLY we are going to meet face to face!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am over the moon with excitement. At the same time I think of our dear Billie (Blue or Blue Australia were her other usernames) because she too was planning on coming to Canada to see Jessie & I and now that will never happen. So I think there is a precious lesson to be learned: if you connect with someone from this site and become the best of friends/soul mates don’t keep putting it off to see one another; as life is too short and you never know what will happen.

Take care everyone and I will be back when I can. I just need some time. Also I want to thank all of those who sent me cards after my cancer surgery and I will never be able to answer all of the private messages I received so I’m thanking each and everyone of you now. Thank you all.

Pookie