where did they go

Was wondering  wether  the 2 who were struggleing with copping with getting a pacemaker/icd.  Removed themselves or were dropped  by this forum.  As i wanted to sleep on my answer before writing to them. 

New to Pace


21 Comments

Do you mean the posts from Kkiseloff and Alli ?

by Gemita - 2021-03-21 11:43:56

Hello new to pace,

I have removed their accounts and thereby deleted their posts but I am in contact privately with Kkiseloff to try to help her.  The problem was despite my warning on this forum (which was deleted by Kkiseloff), she continued to ask questions about how she could destroy her pacemaker, so that it would be removed.  I believe she wants to break the leads or get them infected.  Clearly I have some responsibility here to try to prevent an open online discussion on how to destroy a pacemaker, or worse still, how to take a life, since we really do not know how dependent Kkiseloff might be on her pacemaker.  

I continue to be in dialogue with Kkiseloff privately and anyone who wishes can send her(him?) a private message from this forum, but I do not believe her attitude has changed.  She continues to threaten to destroy her pacemaker which is worrying and I have encouraged her to go to ER to check for an infection now which, if present, would be very serious indeed.  She has a psychologist apparently and is on medication for anxiety, but clearly we are not able to manage her condition from the Pacemaker Club, she needs professional help.  

As for Alli (if that is who you are referring to), she has been insulting many members, including myself and the medical profession in general ever since she joined this forum. There has to be a level of control here I believe, like with most good forums, so that members can feel respected.  Alli has never shown respect and has been openly hostile to members, including myself. This forum can clearly be seen by millions online, is well respected by both the general public and medical professionals alike and I would like to try to keep it this way.  I do not know why Alli has been allowed to get away with her posts which have clearly been more than offensive at times.  When she contacts us again, I will of course offer her assistance but she will have to follow a few rules if she ever wants to post again. 

I am sorry if my actions have offended you or others on this forum.  Perhaps in hindsight I made a mistake.  It might have been better for me to have given prior warning of account closures but we are often having to differentiate daily between hoax posts and real messages.  With both Kkiseloff and Alli I have to admit there is a great deal of uncertainty in my mind about whether they are really genuine posters.  In many ways they are showing the same features which is why I took them both out.  We invest a great deal of time and effort in our responses to these forum messages and it breaks my heart sometimes to see the way we are ridiculed and treated with such little respect by certain members.

Well that is it new to pace.  

Gemita

question

by new to pace.... - 2021-03-21 12:31:25

No that is fine your way .  that is what i thought.

Did think they might have known each other as the words were similiar.

But what i was going to say.  they had the option before the sugery when they signed the permission to operate to cancel not haveing the surgery.  The other was there is another way to have a Mamo that is the Therography.  Which i have mentioned before to others.  you might mention that to them if you are in contact.  thanks.
new to pace

Another Question for Gemita

by IAN MC - 2021-03-21 13:12:51

I realise that any member can delete their own posts and subsequent replies at any time ( and I sometimes wish they wouldn't ) but my question is :-

How many members are there, like yourself, who have the authority to remove other members' posts / accounts ?

I appreciate that we need site moderators / adjudicators to remove Spam posts from  the site but I think we all deserve some clarity on this important   " freedom of speech"   issue.

Did  you make your decision uni-laterally or is there a panel of site moderators ?

Just curious ... ( and don't assume that I didn't agree with you ! )

Ian

Where did they go?

by Aberdeen - 2021-03-21 14:56:24

I wondered where their posts had gone. It was disturbing to read a post by someone who wanted to destroy their pacemaker.

I am thankful for mine as it’s keeping me alive. Gemita you are so helpful and very well informed- I hope you can help Kkiselhof! 

Ian

by Gemita - 2021-03-21 15:11:41

There are four of us in total, as far as I know, who are able to manage posts and members’ accounts.  The latter authority was given to me when we were having a difficult time removing spammers/hoax messages from the Club, messages that were inundating our site for over a year or so.  It was exhausting to try to take them out.   

Two of us, Tracey and I took out bogus members/spammers round the clock to eradicate the problem.  It was only by taking out these members’ accounts that we were able to stop the rubbish coming onto our home page.  I continue to take out bogus members/spammers without consultation with other Admin members, based on my own judgement Ian and on the authority which I believe I was given.  

Let me be clear, I do not take out a member based on an opinion that they may hold which may not agree with my own views, or on the views of the majority, if that is what you mean.  I wholly respect freedom of speech and encourage it because we need to tell both sides of the story.  I take out a member Ian primarily based on:

1. whether I believe the member to be genuine or not and I would like to believe I am a good judge of character here Ian.  I keep records of prolific spammers and bogus members who keep trying to come back to cause unrest

2.  whether I believe a member is displaying troll like behaviour likely to cause chaos in an orderly forum.

Those are the only two instances when I would be forced to make a decision about their membership.  The two members in question that I have deleted fall into one of these categories I believe.

But you raise a good question Ian and perhaps Admin members need to establish a code of practice here.  

Gemita

Aberdeen

by Gemita - 2021-03-21 15:50:29

Thank you for your kind words.  Yes I hope I can help Kkiseloff, if indeed she/he wants to be helped.  (The name is Kerry).  Very negative dialogue with her so far - immovable on wanting her pacemaker out and seems to be prepared to go to any length to make it happen.  Quite disturbing actually.  

Perhaps she/he will post again since she is still a member of this Club and I will not stop her from posting, although I have clearly told her that we cannot help her physically to destroy her pacemaker system, that would be a step too far.  She knows however we would be willing to help her to live with her pacemaker until her battery expires when she is adament she wants it out and no further treatment

back on line

by new to pace.... - 2021-03-21 16:20:14

Kerry has returned and is back. did make a  a couple of suggestions.

  You have made the right choice.  It is distrubing to read someone wants to destroy something that is makeing others have a better life.

new to pace

new to pace

by Gemita - 2021-03-21 18:03:57

I saw the dialogue between you and Kerry but the post has now been deleted.  For the records I did not delete Kerry's latest post

delete

by new to pace.... - 2021-03-21 18:13:40

Guess she took my advice about deleting herself.  I  said if she did not care to help herself. Then this site was not for her.  As this site is to get help for one's self.

 I gave her a suggestion to go online and look up what to do for  itching.  As i did not feel qualified to give that type of advice.  She said she would keep itching for the next 2 weeks, until she saw her doctor.

new to pace

 

Thank you for all of your work on this site

by Persephone - 2021-03-21 18:39:13

Thank you Gemita and Tracey for your efforts to maintain this site for us, and thank you to the many other contributors as well.  All of your work helps many people and is greatly appreciated.  I am in the "don't know where I'd be without you" crowd, which I believe to be a very large group.

Recent posts

by Flo - 2021-03-21 18:45:10

Gemita I think your replies and all the replies were sincerely trying to help the two members and I do hope they find help and wellness.

Me Too!

by Marybird - 2021-03-21 18:47:15

Persephone, hope you don't mind if I echo your comments!

thank you

by Tulp - 2021-03-21 22:11:30

Thanks to the all admins/moderators.

Im happy to know Gemita is offering her help, and do hope her help will be accepted. Even though I do know that you cant help people that dont want to be helped.

I am really happy that this site exists. Too bad some dont understand.

Moderation

by AgentX86 - 2021-03-21 22:54:19

Yes, Gemita has been doing a great job moderating this forum, with a light hand, with the exception of the spammers with which she's spent untold hours playing whack-a-mole.  Good riddance!

IMO, we can't help people commit suicide, in any way, nor can we have them bringing that attitude to people truly having trouble dealing with their pacemakers.  Pacemakers are all about quality of life.  That's the purpose of the forum.

 

administrators

by Tracey_E - 2021-03-22 14:09:19

Yikes, looks like I missed all the fun! I've been away the last two weeks and checking in minimally. 

Blake owns the site. Gemita and I have admin ability and help him as moderators. There are 3 others, none are currently active on the site- Pookie, Don R, and Susie (blanking on her username). Blake added Gemita when the spammers got out of control a while back. He was dealing with personal challenges that kept him offline and it was too much for me to handle alone. We only step in when something clearly crosses a line. If in doubt, we refer it to Blake for a decision.

Tracey

by IAN MC - 2021-03-23 11:41:03

Thanks for the clarification . That will teach you for going away.

Hope you had a good time wherever you were !

Ian

Ian

by Tracey_E - 2021-03-23 12:43:07

Yes, good times! Spending some time with youngest kid and my parents, lots of skiing until I hurt my knee over the weekend. On a green so I don't even have a good story to tell.  My dad will be 80 this summer, I still can't keep up with him skiing. I put a picture in the gallery.

Gemita

by Linnie - 2021-03-23 14:55:59

I think KKisseloff is back as Puppy.

yes that is true

by new to pace.... - 2021-03-23 15:16:47

I know that is true ,that Puppy is the new KKisseloff.

new to pace

Linnie and new to pace

by Gemita - 2021-03-23 15:21:42

Yes we are keeping a close eye on the situation and monitoring this very carefully.  Thank you both for your help 

I just want to say thank you to the moderators!

by asully - 2021-03-24 14:52:44

I agree with your decision Gemita, and with my background in counseling I can give you a large number of reasons why.  I won't list them off, but I will say that sharing our stories, struggles, and successes/failures is why most of us are here.  Having someone giving out irrational, clearly incorrect information, and using forum members as a place to project their misplaced anger is not good for anyone.  Not for the person who is suffering from cognitive distortions nor the other members in the forums.  I do lay in wait for the day you give me the boot lmao,  sometimes I can come off a little harsh to people or condescending.  I love this group, you are my peeps!  Even when I disagree with you I still love you.  This forum gives me a relief valve and has been one of my best support resources through the years!  If I am having a bad day I hop on here for a while and by the time I am off I feel at peace.  If this site were to go downhill or disappear I would be very sad.  So thank you Gemita, Tracy and all the others who make sure it stays running!

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