Scheduled for CRT-D in 2 Weeks and Very Afraid

you are stronger than you know

by Tracey_E - 2019-04-09 17:27:49

First bit of advice, stop reading online! Complications - all of them from the most minor to the most severe TOTAL- are less than 1% of patients. That 1% comes here for answers and support. The other 99% is out there getting on with their lives. Reading the posts here and elsewhere online makes it seem like the complications are much more commonplace than they really are. 

Don't be ashamed. Fear is normal, you feel what you feel and that's never wrong.  Here's the thing, tho. Getting it should be something you take comfort in so the fear can go away. Having it will keep you safer, you'll have a built in insurance policy in case the vtach gets worse. You'll have a high tech computer trying to get your EF up so you have more energy. Try to stop thinking about the hardware and what could go wrong and focus on what can go right. 

If the therapist isn't helping, find another one. Even the best therapist isn't the best fit for everyone. 

Talk to your doctor about something for anxiety until the surgery. Seriously. They don't want you freaking out either, usually they are happy to prescribe something short term, or at least the night before and day of surgery, to keep you calm. 

I don't have a CRT and my problem is different, so my surgery was different, but I can tell you that it was nowhere near as bad as I'd built it up to be in my head, and after I felt better than I ever imagined I could. Lotsa worry and sleepless nights for nothing, it's been nothing but a blessing for me. I'm on my 5th one now, next month will be 25 years paced, and I feel great. I've never once had a complication worth mentioning. I have a monitor tucked away under my bed that I never ever look at. It automatically does a download every 3 months, my ep's nurse emails to tell me all is well. I go in once a year. That's it for my monitoring.  Most of the time I don't even think about it. That may sound hard to believe right now, but I can't tell you how many people I've said that to who come back months later and say it's the same for them.

Don't be so hard on yourself, what you are describing is more common than you think. You will get through this. I hope one day soon you come back and can laugh and say, jeez, what was I so worried about??

Completely understand

by marathonpaced - 2019-04-09 17:59:38

I felt EVERYTHING you are feeling over the past few months as I was tested, diagnosed, and given my PM so know you are not alone and that whatever emotions you are feeling are completely normal.  You have nothing to be ashamed about!!

The waiting for me was also the hardest part.  I kept questioning whether this was really necessary.  Making up excuses that things weren't that bad or that I didn't need a PM.  I even considered calling my doctor the day before my surgery to postpone it just for a little more time to see if it was really that bad fully knowing that complete heart block doesn't heal itself.  Then I'd feel guilty for feeling bad because so many people have it way worse than me and I'm lucky that my condition is treatable.  It was a rough few weeks. 

I thought I'd accept it once I had the surgery but I'm not going to lie, it was just as hard post-surgery and those feelings of "I can't believe I have a PM...is this really necessary?!?!" continued (I'm young and healthy so this type of thing was never on my radar of possibilities).  About a week after, my husband gave me a tough love talk and said that unless I was going to have another surgery to remove it, I needed to stop questioning whether I needed it and accept that it was here to stay.  Hearing that really helped me flip a switch and begin moving on into my new normal. 

I still have good days and bad day but when I'm feeling down, I remind myself that I haven't had a single dizzy event since getting the PM and that is all that matters.  I'm safe to drive my kids around or go for a run without the fear of passing out and hurting myself or someone else.  At the end of the day, that's all that matters. 

We are all stronger than we know but allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come your way and don't feel bad about it.  The waiting is definitely the hardest part.  I echo what Tracy said about asking for some anxiety meds prior to surgery.  I was an emotional wreck while they were prepping me and would burst into tears anytime someone new walked into my room.  Once they got my IV in and gave me some meds to relax, I felt much better.   

Good luck and I hope everything goes well with your surgery!

You've got this Barb!

by Grateful Heart - 2019-04-09 23:42:15

We've all been there and we understand.

You are now armed with plenty of information and you know from the tests and your doctors this device will help your condition.

We've had conversations before...I have a CRT-D and have never been shocked in 10 years.  If you have any more questions....just ask.

Don't overthink it...rest your weary mind and know that this device will help you.  Keep yourself busy the next 2 weeks so the time will go fast.  The waiting is the hardest.     

Grateful Heart 

Anxiety before surgery.

by Selwyn - 2019-04-10 14:10:54

Waiting is the worst. The more you think about it the worse it gets as the mind builds up problems from your imagination and understanding. No one can guess the future- otherwise we all would be doing the  national lottery!

Having something to keep you occupied ( to keep the mind occupied) is a good way of helping yourself. Now is the time to read that book, start to prepare that project, even have a few days out and about. Time to visit friends not seen for a while?

You should continue to exercise within your capabilities. A lot of the nervous energy can be used up with physical energy. 

Sleep is often a problem. Avoid coffee and alcohol, they tend to worsen sleep. Do something relaxing in the couple of hours leading to bedtime. Identify thoughts in your head that lead to you thinking about your health and choose to ban them for something that is known to be a relaxing thought.

Use the time to practice diaphragmatic breathing and relaxation techniques. ( plenty of videos on line). The last thing you need to do is to read up on medical matters.

And, lastly, talk about your anxieties- a trouble shared is a trouble halved. So well done posting about your nervousness. 

Wonder how many successful CRTs there have been in the world. Your surgeon probably fits more in a day than he/she has hot lunches. It is a routine procedure for the team involved in your care- they have seen it all before, they do it day in and day out. Practice makes perfect. 

Not to Worry

by lefty2 - 2019-04-12 17:15:17

I received an CRT-D impanted last August and it was not as bad as I thought, Yesd you are sore for a few days and are restricted from heavy liftinmg, etc for a few weeks. But view it as a safeguard to prevent you from fainting again or even having  a serious heart attack from an irregular heartbeat.

Let us know how it goes.

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