life lessons hard learned

• by ROBO Pop
• 2018-10-24 13:36:07
• General Posting
• 937 views
• 4 comments

I’m reasonably certain this has happened to some of you guys. You think you have it hidden from prying eyes, but somebody notices that massive bulge protruding through your clothes, giving away your deepest secret. The peeper, being duly impressed unwittingly spews forth the words “my God that thing is huge how can you walk around with that sticking out?” You bet folks, despite rhetoric to the contrary, size does matter.

Last night I found out the hard way how much size matters.

I was carrying a huge water trough for our dogs, which probably weighed in at 100 pounds through the dining room. Alright, it was a large plastic bowl but still you get the gist. As I traversed past the table, the lights inexplicably went out. I later discovered it wasn’t the house lights that went dark.

While medically, I was unconscious, I sensed time in slow motion but was unable to react. In my mind I realized I was toppling headlong before crashing into a chair and the massive oak dining table finally ending the adventure by kissing the carpet. Cup half full, the carpet needed to be cleaned anyway.

I realize this morning after admiring the gorgeous bluing of my skin that this episode could have resulted in far more serious injuries had it not been for my ginormous protrusion absorbing the majority of impact and thereby protecting other parts of my body from damages.

Now a smarter person would immediately contact his Cardiologist for a device check after taking a direct blow to his CRT-D like I had last night, but you know I’m not the brightest. Still this is a lesson to us all to stop fretting about the size of our bulges, it’s life saving properties are far more important. Go ahead guys, brag and show off your bulge, don't be embarrassed, people will have bulge envy cause size matters...