Slightly OT: Jesus Jolts

• by The real Patch
• 2018-06-27 14:04:11
• General Posting
• 993 views
• 2 comments

sitting here bored out of my mind and contemplating the meaning of life, a thought crossed my dementia enhanced mind. Remember back when we were kids and or a childish adult member whose initials are Ian but shall remain anonymous, and we would taunt and torment one another with incredible claims doing our best to outdo one another? We'd say ridiculous things like: I can jump the highest - or - my bike's better than yours - or - my mom's prettier than yours -or- my hall monitor can kick yours arse - or- my kids mom ...well we'll stop at that.

Got me to wondering at the fact in all my years here, those of us with defibrillators have never discussed our Jesus Jolts (therapy) and whose was the most powerful, the most earth shaking, the most everything. Well let's rectify that oversight, besides everything can't be about doom and c\gloom here. I'll kick this scientific study off since I thought of it and to help encourage everyone.

Those who've flown, especially on those long, seemingly endless flights know the level of discomfort us heart patients can experience and in fact are at risk of triggering an event leading to a jolt of sky high proportions. Being a frequent flyer, I mean using diuretics for my edema, I do my utmost when I have to fly to go before boarding and then stick close to the bathroom(s). In fact I usually get upgraded to first class seat in the bathrooms. Okay I get carried away. anyway, during one rather extended flight I felt moved to get up and guard the bathrooms so that when they were vacated I could enter immediately.

I began to feel off, out of sync if you will and knew something was amiss. I got lightheaded and weak, my heart began racing and I realized I needed to get into a bathroom quickly. You guys know how that is, you just sense the big one is approaching and it ain't gonna finish well. The stewardess pointed out there was one available in the center of the plane...ie not first class. Swallowing my pride, off I trudged gingerly hoping I wasn't about to enjoy therapy in the wild blue. As I reached the bathroom door I noted indeed the sliding locked indicated vacant the magic word, the relief I felt was nearly as good as it would be when I got inside and sat down. As I reached for the door handle I nearly fainted and began shaking, things were not looking good. I grabbed the door and flung it open in my haste to get to safety.

Just then, as you might guess it happened. I received the shock, Jesus Jolt if you will, to end all shocks. It nearly knocked me off my feet, in fact contributed to my hair loss, and as I had feared it was happening right in front of all those commoners (coach class). The embarrassment, humiliation, degradation was too much...there in all her glory was an elderly lady making full use of the facility. Talk about the most shocking... To this day I wonder if her failure to lock the door was intentional, she had this smirk cross her face as I stared like a deer in headlights