Takes a lickin', keeps on a tickin'

I don't know much about that Monday morning the last day of April this year other than it was the mother of all bad Monday mornings for me... I do remember the sirens and my friend Dennis' voice, "stay with me, Ron, Stay with me..."as I lay virtually lifeless on the paking lot pavement.  The other part I remember is returning to consiousness only to have the ER Doctor shout "CLEAR" as he punched the button of the defibrillator.... (I am sure some of you have had that pleasurable experience but, holy smoke, that was about the most painful experience in my life. Had I been a secret agent, I would have told him ANYTHING to prevent the button push again.;-) Fortunately, the second time he punched it, I had been sedated and missed the excitement and yes, they were able to get my heart beating and back into rythm.  Of course, if they hadn't, I wouldn't be here to commiserate. Much more information than you wanted... 

I had experienced a heart faliure when my heart decided to flutter and take the day off.  So, no beating, no blood, no blood, no oxygen, no oxygen, well, you get the picture..  The current results are - 'proud' owner of a bi-ventricular pacemaker/implantable cardiac defibrillator - my Dr refers to it as the Cadillac of PMs.. Since it is made in Germany perhaps it is really the Mercedes of PMs... It operates 100% of the time keeping my vetricular chambers beating properly and together...  While in the hospital, I learned that my ejection percentage was a very healthy 19% - 'splains quite a few symptoms I had been having for years,,,I had been told many times that I have a left bundle block.  Did not know that it could create such a mess...

It has been a little over a month since my 30th of April Monday morning adventure and a little less since my PM implant ( 3rd of May to be precise).  To be honest, I still wake up at night reliving the event...  I Still have fears that it will happen again (yeah, I know, unfounded fears ???). I am depressed much of the time, feel tired most of the time,  Still trying to get my head around it...

I went back to work last week.  I retired from my profession 3 years ago and two years ago went to work for Home Depot as a PASA at the Pro Desk... Still trying to decide if I want to keep working..  At 69 you would think that I could sluff this all off and keep plugging away... It's a bit tougher than I expected.

Hope you are all well.  Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Clicking and ticking!

by Ileen - 2018-05-31 11:13:24

I am so sorry you had to go thru that experience. But you are blessed you were with the right people at the right place!! You have had quite an eye opening life experience. I don't think you should rush going back to work. Maybe go play! Take a vacation! Then decide if you want to work or play. You will figure it out. I would strongly suggest if you are still having nightmares to talk to a counselor. It could help a lot. I go to one, love him. He keeps me from going crazier than I am( don't believe those voices!😹) Welcome to the club. We are all here to help! Keep a sense of humor and God Bless you!!! Ileen

Experience similar to yours

by Theknotguy - 2018-05-31 20:39:35

I had (and still have) and active lifestyle, moved 2000 pounds of wood on Thursday, walked 3.5 miles on Friday.  Then collapsed on the trail while walking the dogs.  I remember waking up long enough to see I was lying on the ground.  The cool dirt felt really good.  Knew I was dying, then they broke my ribs doing CPR.  Man did that hurt!!!  Woke up six days later with a pacemaker.  Heart problems happen when they happen.  That was four years ago.  Took me a while to get my mind wrapped around what happened.  

Had the depression too.  Worked with a psychologist for a while.  She helped me put things into perspective.  It's nice to have a disinterested third party to talk with.  Not saying you have to do the same but it's an option. 

Surprisingly enough, the dogs helped with the recovery and therapy.  They seemed to sense what was wrong and when they came over to visit I'd be a dog sandwich.  I'd have one lying on each leg and I couldn't move unless they went along.  You can't beat a cold nose and a warm heart.  So if you can get pet therapy I'd suggest that.  

Looks like you're a people person and it helps to be out in the general public meeting people.  Don't think it's a bad idea.  So if you're happy working as a PASA keep on doing it.  If you're not happy doing that, do something else.  I went back to the hospital where they took me and work as a volunteer.  I figure I'm doing pretty good if I'm not a patient and am pushing people out.  Help goes both ways as I can show heart patients there is a future.  I also get to see some people in a lot worse shape than myself.  

As I tell people who say, "It's nice to see you!"  - I say, "It's better to be seen than viewed!"

Hang in there. 

You know you're wired when...

The dogÂ’s invisible fence prevents you from leaving the backyard.

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