Is it possible to love my pacemaker?

What a lovely story!

by LondonAndy - 2017-03-28 04:10:47

I am lucky: I am a pragmatic, take-it-as-it-comes type of person who lives my life day-by-day without the anxiety suffered by so many, but I see the debilitating effects it can have on my neighbour - a retired lady who is lovely and has more than her fair share of health problems but worries about everything and for everyody else.  So I am delighted to hear your story, albeit there was more to it than "just" the anxiety, and welcome to the club!  If anxiety can be said to be fear of the unknown, welcome to the "known" side of having a pacemaker!

same here

by Tracey_E - 2017-03-28 10:53:36

I went from easily tired, often dizzy, never able to do any kind of sports my entire life to feeling great, full of energy, never sitting still. I learned to ski, took up  hiking and kayaking, discovered barbells are fun, and the list goes on. I, too, wish I'd had it years before and love my little hunk of titanium. Glad you are feeling better now too! 

Excellent reading

by oldearthworm - 2017-03-28 12:18:04

The PM , inserted at age 75, overcame my depression, lack of energy. lack of appetite, it gave me a new lease on life .. So, YES , I can see  some one loving their pacemaker   ...  at any age .

Just one question

by Ileen - 2017-03-28 14:48:10

Did they tell you why you were getting the Pacemaker? Did you have pauses that made you feel bad. I have sick sinus syndrome. I had pauses which I did not know about. I still get PVC"S and they are hurting more now. So, don't know if the pacemaker is fixing that! They say it will keep me from passing out. Never passsed out or felt like it . Maybe once, but that was because I was very scared about somtheing. I have always been a very nervous person. Was hoping the pacemaker would help. I do take anti anxiety meds. They do help me. I was just wondering , ( hope you know) why you flatlined and was it because of pauses. Thank you Ileen  ps. I requested an echo which I  am getting becuase of the word " chest pain" I told them . Otherwise they were  not going to do one. I get it next week. Thanks again. Hope to hear from you! Ileen

The heart of the mind

by Gotrhythm - 2017-03-28 16:46:18

Tthanks for telling your story.

I've had every therapy for anxiety there is, and I got good at monitoring and controlling my thoughts so that anxiety didn't run away with me. I'm also a seasoned meditator, and I've seen some benefits.

But until I got a pacemaker I never knew what it would feel like to feel completely calm on the inside. Turns out a regular heartbeat does worlds for one's emotional state. Who knew? And increasing the heartrate to 70 bpm got rid of the low grade depression.

LIke you, I think I could have used a pacemaker a good fifteen years before I got one.

PANIC/ANXIETY

by BOBJ - 2017-03-29 12:03:10

Part of my heart problems are genetic and when I was younger I had anxiety/panic too. I think a lot of it is due to the heart problems. As I got older the anxiety/panic turned to depression. Since I have received my biv-icd I have noticed an almost complete turn around and mine also occurred almost immediately.

I would like to see some research done in this area as it is my belief that heart problems and anxiety/panic/depression may sometimes be connected. Wouldn't it be great if at some point in the future we could go. Hmmmm... you do realize that your panic attacks can be cured and at the same time we can prevent a future heart attack!

Amen BOBJ

by Gotrhythm - 2017-03-29 12:10:47

Would love to show some psychaitrists our posts.

Thank you, my new-found friends!

by abi2001 - 2017-03-29 14:19:06

My apologies for not responding immediately. I homeschool my sons and have been a bit busy. Please read this, as I will reply to each of you...and I'm extremely grateful to all of you.

LondonAndy: Yes, you are very lucky, but those who suffer from the affects of anxiety are extremely blessed when we find those (few) of you who understand what it does to the body and the mind. I have put my husband through hell with my symptoms, freak outs, ER visits, and now this, but he has always been there for me, with support and patience, for the nearly 18 years we've been together. It's very painful and terrifying trapped in an anxious mind, especially when so many think it's under our control or an act for attention. Thank you for your kind words...and as my mental and physical health both have improved since my PM implant, my husband and I now believe I may never have had anxiety/panic disorder but the early warning signs of my heart issue. We'll never know, but I'm grateful for how I feel now.

TraceyE: That's amazing! I never thought such a little device could have such a huge impact either! I don't know about you, but I even named my titanium friend -- Thumper Jumper, or TJ. Hey, people name boats, vehicles, RVs; why not pacemakers? ;) I had a great uncle with a pacemaker (for a different condition) and he named his Ticker Kicker. May as well have a name for my lifeline. :)

oldearthworm: I'm so happy for you! No offense, but I never thought of a pacemaker as something needed in ones twenties or thirties (or younger). In the golden years, possibly, and that's one reason I was so terrified at the thought of getting one. I was entirely uneducated about the benefits (and risks) of having a pacemaker. When I went to the hospital, I had no idea I'd get admitted and need one. That was so far off my radar. When I came back from blacking out and I was trying to figure out what happened and where I was (and saw the terrified ghost-white faces of my husband and sons), the nurse that had performed CPR on me told me my heart had stopped, that he'd performed CPR to bring me back, and that I'd "just bought" myself a pacemaker. Talk about panic! I hate recalling the 2 days of tests that I went through after that, simply because the on-call cardiologist (who is now my cardiologist) wanted desperately to eliminate all other possibilities. In addition to X-rays and ECGs, I also had more than 3 dozen vials of blood taken to look for anything from clots and proteins to deficiencies and Lyme. My final exam was a cardiac catheterization, which showed no blockages or scarring and a very structurally sound and strong heart. Now I'm convinced I will have the quality of life I'd dreamed of for more than 15 years, and I know it wouldn't otherwise be possible without my pacemaker. Age isn't a factor, and I regret having had that stereotype in my mind.

Robin1: I completely agree with you. Women are more controlled by emotions than men are. When we have problems, we don't necessarily want solutions but we do want someone to simply listen to us talk and allow us to cry. Talk to a man, and they want to offer a solution because they're just not wired as a listener, they're problem-solvers. (Sorry about my "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" reference.) I believe the thirties tend to be more difficult because, generally-speaking, we are deep in family/wife mode, bearing and raising children, and/or focusing hard on our careers. The stress of all of this takes its toll, and we tend to try to pour from an empty bucket because we've given ourselves to everybody and everything else. If we don't focus on our mental and physical health, the two are linked and we suffer. Disease and mental illness are the result. With that said, I didn't suffer from depression, and there's nothing indicating I did do or could have done anything to prevent what happened to my heart. It is congenital and was just a matter of time. However, I definitely feel the weight and drain of all of my responsibilities, and I know that has an impact. I'm not counting on never having another anxiety/panic attack, to be honest. I'm just grateful I've gone almost 3 months without another palpitation, bout of breathlessness, or dizzy episode, and like you said, I feel like I have control over my life once again as well. Best wishes to you and your family. And absolutely, attitude is everything, albeit sometimes difficult to control.

Ileen: Yes, it's been determined I have SSS, although it's more of a guestimate, so to speak, because there is no test to guarantee the diagnosis. My cardiologist put me through so many tests when I was in the hospital (I was in ICU, by the way, mostly for observation, but I had defibulator pads attached to me the entire time until I went into surgery on the 2nd day). I had X-rays, ECGs, and more than 3 dozen vials of blood taken to test for anything from clots and proteins to deficiencies and Lyme disease. Finally he did a heart catheterization on me, and when that came back clear he re-scrubbed and I was fitted with my pacemaker. He basically eliminated any and every other possibility, but what confused him most was that he didn't even see any scar tissue in the area of my sinus node when he did the catheter, which would have clued him even more to SSS, so he believes it to be congenital and my node finally just gave out. To be on the safe side, I was fitted with a dual chamber. There is question whether or not my heart would have restarted on its own, but he feared my driving anyplace and suddenly blacking out again, especially since I'm with my sons all of the time. And considering my history of ER visits and symptoms, he said more than half of what I'd been through were more clues that I had SSS: getting a full night's sleep but waking up feeling like I'd run a marathon all night, skips and racing that caused chest pain, recurring episodes of upper back pain as though I'd been hit in the back with a board, left shoulder and jaw pain, etc. He also said early symptoms resemble anxiety/panic attack symptoms but get worse as the condition progresses. He said I got very lucky, listening to my body and being at the right place at the right time. I'm glad you're getting the echo next week. If it is SSS, though, there's a good chance nothing will show on the test. SSS is quite illusive. If you haven't already, you may want to consider a cardiac catheterization. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Gotrhythm: First of all, I envy that you meditate! I know it would be good for me, but I just can't seem to calm my mind enough to do it. LOL. But I agree with and relate to what you're saying. I've tried biofeedback and breathing methods to get me through attacks, with some success. Like you, I didn't feel a true difference until getting my pacemaker. I didn't realize assisting the heart beat and rate also helped mental health, but that certainly makes sense! Since I've received my titanium buddy, about a handful of my friends believe either they or somebody they know should get the table tilt and other tests done to see if it would benefit them to get a pacemaker. I thought pacemakers were only for weak or otherwise damaged hearts. I was definitely clueless to its benefits and needs. I'm so glad your pacemaker changed your life for the better as well and you've also noticed such amazing changes!

BOBJ: Yes, yes, yes!! I agree with you wholeheartedly (no pun intended...lol). I know mental and physical health are linked, but I never before considered the funtionality of the heart in that equation and on that level. It's a shame that the drug industry thrives on illnesses, not cures. I know medicine can have its benefits, but many times they're bandages to a true underlying problem and an opportunity for a physician to get a kick-back. I know that's harsh, but I do feel that way. I looked for some kind of answer or cure for so long and was always suggested another drug. After two attempts, I gave up. I thought my cardiac symptoms were nothing more than "anxiety," and I should have found comfort in the series of cardiac tests and exercise stress test that I'd received since 2013. But I didn't because the symptoms had become so painful and would show up out of the blue. You're definitely on to something, and I really wish the medical professionals and members would listen to patients like us, to realize that, if they really do want to help, then the answer could lie in something like a pacemaker. Yes, it is an invasive procedure, but I know many people on medications who would much prefer going through a surgery than depend on a prescription for most of or the rest of their lives. There are risks involved, but I'd honestly rather have quality of life than quantity of life with pain and suffering.

This community and club is so amazing, and I'm very glad that I found you. I need to be able to communicate with others I can relate to and who understand, and you all are so kind. Thank you for listening and your feedback!