feeling like a broken man.
- by RowdyRam
- 2016-01-08 07:01:08
- General Posting
- 1650 views
- 10 comments
Im happy im alive but i feel like a failure and a broken toy. I just sucks worring about getting shocked and nit bring able to do dtuff i could before. Im only 34
10 Comments
Something I read this morning...
by valley01 - 2016-01-08 02:01:55
If everyone threw all their problems out on a table and had to choose, most people would take their own problems back.
I got my PM at 43yrs old. 2 years later my younger brother was diagnosed with ALS at 39yrs old - a death sentence and the most horrible way to go IMO as I watched my mom and grandfather die of it. I understand when it's new the emotional rollercoaster we go through but as most here will tell you, attitude is what will determine your future.
Clarification
by Grateful Heart - 2016-01-08 03:01:50
It may help with our responses.
Your Bio states you have been shocked 12 times. Was any of the shocks from your CRT-D firing or externally due to the heart attack?
Grateful Heart
PTSD
by BillH - 2016-01-08 06:01:01
I know of someone that is in a similar position.
She ended getting counseling for PTSD and found that really helped her.
Hi Brokenman........
by Tattoo Man - 2016-01-08 07:01:46
..........I am glad for you...you have found a fantastic group of people who have..'Been There'..each in their own way....
This is the place where you can be really you and get support from so many people in so many ways..
Here, you can laugh or cry...make jokes or sit next to someone who needs support to get through another day..
If you stay with PM Club, odds are that you will read someone elses story and find yourself using your own experience to help another new PM person..be it in Delaware or Delhi....Paris, Texas or Paris, France.....
Many of us found ourselves feeling like a bag of 'Loser Crap' when we were obliged to accept help from a little tin box.....I HATED MINE...
It will take time to get used to the fact that all you feel has been lost will...become a profound understanding of what you have gained..
Vally01 said so much in two lines. It will take a little time for you to take that on board....You are a fighter..This is when you show yourself just how good you are...
From another 'Broken Sportsman' who has looked into the mirror so many times and said .." Just get the **** out there and do it...
Tattoo Man
Hey - some other options
by Theknotguy - 2016-01-08 08:01:57
OK, so you've gotten the get-out-and-just-do-it comments. That's good. However if you're depressed and run down, just trying to do that can take more energy than you feel you have. Not a good feeling to have.
After I woke up in the hospital after the six day coma, I had to learn to walk all over again. Had to use a walker until I built up enough strength to walk without it. I was so weak I couldn't take the coverings off the food bowls on my food tray. Talk about shock!
What did I do? Worked with my medical insurance. Most medical insurance companies have a nurses' hotline. It's free for the call. Most medical insurance companies have rehab programs available at no cost to you (you've actually already paid for them). They also have case managers who can review your plan and make suggestions for treatment. The best part is, they do the legwork.
I worked with a psychologist - someone mentioned PTSD in a previous posting. Don't say I had PTSD but I did have someone who specialized in trauma and heart problems. That helped a lot.
If you don't feel up to making the call, have your spouse or significant other make the call. It doesn't matter who, just as long as someone initiates the conversation.
When you're walking down the hall in the rest home and an 80 year old little granny passes you, you're going to feel broken. That's normal. In that respect, I know how you feel as I've been there.
My question for you is - do you have enough energy to try to do something? I certainly hope so.
Broken
by Good Dog - 2016-01-08 11:01:37
I understand how you feel. Been there, done that. I had just turned 38 when I received my PM. It is important for you to know now that you are not broken, you are fixed.
I had minor heart problems from a very young age, but they never stood in the way of living a normal life. However, when I received my pacemaker, I thought my life was over. I quickly learned that it was no different; I didn't need to let it stand in the way of living a normal life. It hasn't. For 30 years now. I also have a close friend with an ICD. He has not allowed it to stand in the way of living his life. He goes on just like everyone else and has been living many, many fulfilling years since receiving it.
If you don't tell people that you have an ICD, they won't know. You are no different than anyone without an ICD. You just need to learn to believe that.
You've found a great place to get information and support here. If you hang-around, I'm sure you'll read about lots of folks that have much more serious problems than you do.
I really hope you'll get on with your life and do your best to enjoy it. None of us are promised tomorrow, so we just need to try to get the most out of today. We are actually very, very fortunate we weren't born 50 years ago. That would have been a much different story. You have a future now and there is no reason it can't be a bright one!
Hang in there, and start living your life again!
Sincerely,
David
its gonna be ok
by Ms.Cryer - 2016-01-09 01:01:07
you're not broken and you are not a failure.. you are just better.. I thought the same thing.. I had my pacemaker put in Dec. 22,2015 and I thought I was a failure.. I have to learn to live with the pacemaker just look at it like this we are still alive and we still have a second chance to be with our family.. I hope things get better for you.. try and think about what makes you happy to take your mind of off the pacemaker
basically as the man says "just do it"
by jessie - 2016-01-24 03:01:59
hey cabg patch lets you and me get out of the nursing home and party.lol jessie well me anyway out of the nursing home
You know you're wired when...
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Member Quotes
I'm 44, active and have had my device for two years. I love it as I can run again and enjoy working out without feeling like I'm an old man.
broken
by Tracey_E - 2016-01-08 01:01:44
What do you want to do that you can't?
Ditto everything David said. If I'd been born the same year as my mother, I never would have seen my 30th birthday. I got my first device at 27. I'm 49 now, still going strong. I don't let it slow me down or keep me from living a full, active life. We are not broken, we are fixed.
Why would you feel like a failure for something that just happened? Nothing you did caused it, nothing you could have done differently would have prevented it. Would you look down on a diabetic because they need insulin, or someone who broke a bone and needed pins? Cut yourself some slack and don't blame yourself for things beyond your control. Life happens. Sometimes it sucks more than other times, some of us get more crap thrown at us than others, but we can use it to make us stronger, try to be grateful for what we have and move on. I know, sometimes that's easier said than done! But it's a goal. Sometimes the first step is changing how we talk about ourselves. You are not a failure or broken toy.