Desperate for some Support.......

Hello everyone. I had my pacemaker implanted September 2015. I am a married mother of four. I don't have any support from from Husband who feels that this is my fault. I have been healthy my entire 43 years. In August 2015 I had a few episodes of fainting and went to the ER 3 times. Did a Tilt Table test and my heart stopped for 28 seconds. In September I was diagnosed with "Bradycardia with a Pause". I am in need of some major support because I am feeling so alone. Does anyone know of a support group in the Phoenix, AZ area? Or are there any other places I can get some support? Thank you Everyone!

9 Comments

Support

by Cabg Patch - 2015-11-18 02:11:31

There are at least two chapters of Mended Hearts in Phoenix that are very active. Mended Hearts is a national group of heart patients who provide peer to peer support to patients and families. You can contact them through the Rocky Mountain Director Robert Oberfield (480)860-1247 Rxplus@cox.net or via national www.mendedhearts.org

So much in common

by Lisamaruna - 2015-11-18 04:11:36

Athena
I lived in Phoenix many years now in Nebraska don't ask why.
I had my pacemaker put in 3 months ago and got a lot of support and answers her actually.
I am 42 and also a mother of 4. You can On my way! me anytime and I think we would have a lot to talk about. It's hard to go through. I am currently in a hospital and have been for a week. I had an abLatino for v tack. I am just in pain and we are waiting for one more test result to see if I need to switch my pacemaker for a icd. I'm so scared but have faith that it will be ok.
Also why does your husband think it's your fault and why so unsupportive?
Mabey your doctor can talk to him.
Lisa

Mended Hearts

by AnaLena - 2015-11-18 04:11:41

Please contact them and go to the meetings. Group support is so effective, and you are definitely needing support.
I'm so sorry your husband is a problem and not a help.
Stick with this forum. There is a lot of positive support here. But do find a group in Phoenix.
Sending positive energy.
Ana Lena

So much in common

by Lisamaruna - 2015-11-18 04:11:49

Athena
I lived in Phoenix many years now in Nebraska don't ask why.
I had my pacemaker put in 3 months ago and got a lot of support and answers her actually.
I am 42 and also a mother of 4. You can On my way! me anytime and I think we would have a lot to talk about. It's hard to go through. I am currently in a hospital and have been for a week. I had an abLatino for v tack. I am just in pain and we are waiting for one more test result to see if I need to switch my pacemaker for a icd. I'm so scared but have faith that it will be ok.
Also why does your husband think it's your fault and why so unsupportive?
Mabey your doctor can talk to him.
Lisa

Check with ...

by Theknotguy - 2015-11-18 04:11:50

Several area with whom to check....

Check with hospital in which you had the PM implanted. Do they have any support groups? Local hospital here has "social worker" who is in charge of post hospital items.

Check with local church, etc. Any help groups there.

Check with medical insurance. Do they have a nurses' hotline?

National organization - Mended Hearts. Does Mended Hearts have a local group with whom you can interact.

Any family members supportive?

Hope things turn around for you.

psychological

by zawodniak2 - 2015-11-18 05:11:23

We are all not the same. Over time some of us need help with our knees, hips, teeth etc. some of us need help with our hearts. Remember, when we come into the world we all get round trip tickets, no exceptions. From my experience, if the Pace maker does what it is supposed to do, which it will.,try to not even think about it. I had the same diagnosis 8 years ago and after I got my PM I felt better and no more fainting and dizzy spells. Other than the incision scar, having a PM is invisible to everyone. After you get through the psychological period of having a PM, life goes on in a normal fashion, Personally, for me, getting a PM was a no-brainer, as I had all the symptoms and did my
research and requested seeing an EP who confirmed the need with the tilt table test .Actually, I was relieved and happy after getting the PM. As for support, you really should not need any from a physical point of view. As I am sure you know the heart is a miraculous organ which relies on an ever present electrical impulse to pump blood. Also, as for your husband, I have had many electrical devices which have worked flawlessly for ever and the I have had some which did not work properly right out of the box. So go figure, and try to not dwell on having a pace maker. Another plus is you got the latest version PM which is MRI compatible.

Good luck and enjoy a better life with your PM
Rodger

Your fault?

by Good Dog - 2015-11-18 12:11:30

I certainly can't understand the dynamics of your marital relationship, but I do know this: Regardless of what your husband may think, It is not "your fault".

I am sure this is perhaps the most difficult time you have experienced in your life. The shock of facing and dealing with our own mortality is difficult enough, but without support from your partner, I am sure it can seem unbearable. It is important to know that you are not alone. If you read this forum daily, you will find so many others with the exact same condition. You can take comfort in that and knowing that your condition is very treatable.

So despite what you are feeling now, just know that no matter what anyone else thinks, you can get on with and "enjoy" a long happy life.

The previous post should be very helpful in seeking out local support. Continue to monitor this forum also, as I am sure you will also find a great deal of support here.

I wish you the very best! Keep your chin up! I am sure that you'll find you are not only "not alone", but that your current state of despair was only the beginning of a journey from which you will emerge much stronger and happier.

Sincerely,

Dave

Anger and Fear

by Artist - 2015-11-19 01:11:18

It sounds like your husband is afraid and insecure. Psychologists say that the root of anger is often fear. I sincerely hope that you get in touch with a support group and that your husband comes around when he feels less insecure and afraid. It also sounds like he could use some counseling himself. Perhaps couples counseling would help both of you. Many members who are mature, strong, competent adults talk about the psychological trauma they feel when they have to adjust to their PM implant and the knowledge that their heart needs help to function adequately. Some report crying jags and depression. I am sorry that you have the added burden of dealing with your husband's insecurity when you really need understanding and support. Please keep talking to the PM club. There are many wonderful people in the club that have written very good responses to members feeling alone and depressed. You could use the search feature on this web site to bring up some of the other comments. TracyE has a lot of good advice and is very supportive. I sincerely hope that you get some good support in your journey toward healing.

Hi Athena

by Zetha - 2015-11-19 07:11:39

My sympathy that you have had such little support, the whole PM experience can only be so much worse without support from your loved ones!

There is no way that it can be your own fault for needing a pacemaker.... read up and print out information on Sick Sinus Syndrome and show it to everyone who does not understand and support you.... actually they should be spoiling you because it is quite an ordeal and traumatic to go through the whole procedure of almost 2 hours and being a little bit sedated but being aware of what is going on!

I am at 10 weeks after PM and only now am I starting to feel a little less fragile and almost like my old self. Even last week I was extremely depressed and then I just want to stay at home and it is not always a good thing.

I hope you feel better after joining the club, I will post again and hope better times and more understanding and support will come your way.... all the best!

You know you're wired when...

You have a shocking personality.

Member Quotes

I have a well tuned pacer. I hardly know I have it. I am 76 year old, hike and camp alone in the desert. I have more energy than I have had in a long time. The only problem is my wife wants to have a knob installed so she can turn the pacer down.