New pacemaker, too many emotions

Hello group. My wife had her pacemaker implanted on 7/30/15. She is extremely uncomfortable with it and is very emotional about it. She stats that she can feel the pacemaker kick in when it does and gets furious with me and extremely upset when I cant understand what it is feeling like.

I am looking for an actual face to face support group for new pacemaker patients in the Glen Burnie, Md area. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Mike

9 Comments

roller-coaster emotions

by knb123 - 2015-08-12 01:08:54

Mike, your wife's post-implant experience is not outside the range of normal. Most of us will attest to feeling extremely emotional from time to time after receiving our PM and not knowing where those feelings are coming from.

That said, your wife does need professional support. Her doctor(s) ought to be able to refer the two of you to appropriate resources in your area.

And perhaps you can encourage your wife to share her feelings on this site. It has been enormously helpful to me and, I know, to many many others. Just knowing that our experience is within the range of normal can be a great comfort. Your wife's implant is so very fresh--just 2 weeks ago!--that she needs to give herself time to heal. A lot of what she's feeling will fade with time and she will be back to normal in just a few weeks.

feeling pm work

by Alma Annie - 2015-08-12 02:08:18

Hi Michael,
Your wife is very new to this and I think that the wound is still healing. I remember how I was when I did not understand what a pacemaker was all about.
Yes I can feel the PM kick in, not all the time though. It feels like a prickle sensation much like a static shock, although that does not really describe it.
Many people at first feel very emotional and upset. Maybe counselling would be a good idea.

Would your wife like to post on this site so we can understand her feelings. I know that for the first year I had so much help from people here.

All the best

Alma Annie

Face to face group

by Theknotguy - 2015-08-12 02:08:57

You can check and see if there is a Mended Hearts group in your area. They are one of the few national groups. Don't know how well the conversation will go. It can depend upon who's leading the group.

Check with her EP to see if his office knows of any support groups. You can also check with the hospital and see if they have a support group. Most medical insurance companies have an 800 nursing support line. You can give them a call. They may also have an over-the-phone support group.

If she's feeling the PM kick in, check with her EP and see if they can slightly lower the voltage with her PM.

Having a constant reminder of your heart problem can drive a person insane. It was five months before I got out of the car and walked across the parking lot without thinking of my PM. I always know my PM is there. Fortunately for me it's a comforting feeling. But for others it's a constant reminder of a problem. Unfortunately if you don't have a PM you can't understand.

Like Alma Annie said, see if you can get your wife on the forum. Or see if she'll read through past posts. This group has been great support for me. Just knowing someone else has the same problems is a great help.

Hope you can find some relief soon.

Voltage

by Artist - 2015-08-12 05:08:10

Usually the PM voltage is initially turned up to speed the formation of scar tissue between the leads and heart wall. That makes the bond more secure. During the first followup appointment with her doctor, the voltage is lowered and other PM settings are tweaked. That can help reduce some of the PM sensations that can be felt. It takes a period of adjustment and healing, including psychological healing after PM surgery. I am 9 months post op and continue to feel better with each passing day.
As so many have said, it is difficult for others to understand the physical and emotional adjustments that are a normal part of the healing process. I also encourage your wife to share her feelings directly with the PM Club.That relieves you of the middle man role, gives her more room to ventilate and takes you out of the "firing range". We are blessed to have the benefits of this medical miracle.

You both need to adjust :)

by SaraTB - 2015-08-12 09:08:59

One of the hardest things, for me, after my emergency PM implant, was to stop feeling guilty: I felt as though I was the one responsible for making my husband so afraid for me. It was a struggle to deal with being treated like china, and it took a long time to reassure him that I was going to be OK, as long as I gave myself time to get used to the thing, and educated myself as much as possible.

It was a key to my peace of mind (and, yes, I had several melt-downs and weepiness at the unfairness of it all and the frustration of not feeling 'right' immediately). The more I read, the more I was able to share with my husband, the more confident HE felt, which, in turn, helped me stop feeling guilty and resentful all at the same time. I'd felt I'd let him down somehow, for needing the PM (nonsense of course - but that's how I felt).
I entirely support what everyone here has said: encourage her to research her condition on the web, read the stories here and at the PM manufacturer's websites (they all have patient education sections). She will stop feeling so alone - knowing there are other people out there who've experienced the same thing and come out the other side just fine.

I commend you for your obvious concern and anxiety to support her through this Do also consider she may also be struggling with handling your fears as well as her own healing (I'm not blaming, if that's the case - it's entirely normal human nature!).

Welcome to the world of pacemakers and don't be afraid to hang around here at the PM Club. We're a pretty friendly, funny and well-informed bunch who know how unnerving and frustrating it was at the start and are eager to help.

Sara

Hang in there- I was a cranky sad person too

by Ttworek - 2015-08-15 11:08:07

I feel for you both, I had my implant put in only 8 weeks ago and without notice after AV block 2:1 and bradycardia. (35bpm) whilst I slept with 48 pauses in one night whilst I had a holter on. It's a ride emotionally. I too feel mine kick in, often in the early stage of sleep and it wakes me right up. It's bizarre. I took on a great suggestion, after receiving my implant. I've felt like the emotions are just too big, too deep, too sad, and too angry. I started to write some letters, to my two young children, and my husband, just invade im not here to tell them myself. It's helping me to move on from feeling frenetic every time I feel this thing kick in, and to lose the feeling of anxiety I have about how serious things might have been. I somehow feel more prepared.

I also took on Japanese acupuncture after surgery to help with immunity and healing. I seemed to hit a real low immunity wise.

I wish you both lots of kindness. It's big stuff this heart stuff and a very emotional journey.

:)

It is hard

by Prescottjo - 2015-10-19 03:10:41

I got my PM almost 2 weeks ago. I cry constantly, it's very hard to deal with all this heart stuff. I snap at my husband too. I still have horrible pain and wish I could sleep ! I never expected it to be this way. Everyone I talk to said it's no big deal, WRONG ! I feel when it comes to messing with your heart it is a BIG deal.

it happens to all of us

by jessie - 2016-04-27 01:04:17

back when i came to this group there were some really good people to offer support. i was told all the emotions i was having were normal. my husband was told also i would experience all this. he was a great support and just let me cry.this went on for some time as i remember. then one day i just felt normal again. right now i am dealing with two biggies and i cry a lot but i know that in time i will be okay. i am angry at my x son-in-law for the abuse he caused to our daughter. the divorce is ugly and my husband is in very poor health. i usually go away and cry on the computer away from him. always i know this to will pass hope this helps jessie

the people

by jessie - 2016-04-27 01:04:54

patch smitty frank susan karen . also a crazy woman but she finally left. i think her name was oh no cant remember lol
anyway still talk to patch karen susan and karen and david walker
jessie

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