A New Outlook

• by Artist
• 2016-01-22 03:01:00
• General Posting
• 1011 views
• 4 comments

I recently posted comments about a bout of arrythmias, wildly swinging heart rates etc. that prompted me to get a walk in appointment with my cardiologist. I was fitted with a 30 day montor and felt good for a day and then experienced strong rhythm problems, a BP that stayed at 90 or below and a heart rate that went from one extreme to another. This was relayed to the monitoring agency and they messaged my monitor and told me to phone them. I did that and they told me they were phoning the emergency room. The ER then called me to come in ASAP. When I arrived at the ER they were waiting for me and did an EKG immediately. I was surprised at the quick reaction of the technician pulling off the leads after a very brief look at the monitor, loading me in a wheel chair and taking me to a treatment room. They started an IV right away and took an Xray of my heart. My resting heart rate was well over 200 and very erratic. The attending physician was getting ready to administer another drug (I don't remember the name of it) when it was as though the good fairy threw the wellness switch and everything leveled out. I was hospitalized for 5 days, ate some awful food, needed to have the IV line relocated twice, and enjoyed all of the night time visitors flipping on a bright light and checking vital signs and administering drugs. I did enjoy the latest techology of a wi-fi heart monitor that allowed me to get to the bathroom without calling for a nurse to disconnect me. So, why am I writing about this? One reason is my need to talk about the attitude readjustment this has caused for me. For 14 months it has been pretty smoothe sailing with my PM.
Now the new normal for me is to expect the unexpected and to work at continuing to have a positive attitude. They discharged me with completely new medications to include taking Eliquis and Sotalol, replacing my Flecainide, Bosoprol and baby aspirin. It was like postpartem depression. I was afraid to leave my old medications. The general feedback from my very experienced nurse friend is that the stress in my life is killing me--an exaggeration. But she told me that stress releases hormones that affect the heart. So again, why am I writing this? I have certain inescapable stresses relating to managing the care of my 102 year old Mother, her recent fall and broken bones, a mentally ill younger sister and the recent death of my older sister after years of suffering with a rare incurable disease. How do you put these things aside? When I was in the ER, I was amazingly calm, just accepting the situation, turning myself over to fate almost like the attitude I have when I fly. I do meditate and record my own relaxation music, but there is a little, unrelenting voice that keeps telling me to keep tying to help my Schizophrenic younger sister although no amount of Therapists have had much of an impact over the last 40 years. So I am working on a new outlook/attitude and accepting the unexpected. I also finally bow to the need to stop procrastinating when I feel bad and to get to the doctor. I think that we women often have an illogical fear of making a fuss and just hoping that if we wait things will get better. Lesson learned, don't be afraid to get help.