Help!

Hi everyone Im new on this site and this is my first post. 2 months ago I went to the hospital. I went for one thing and got rushed to the I.C.U! Long story short I found out that I needed a pacemaker! I go back to have my surgery December 11, 2014 it would have been sooner but I wanted to be put to sleep. I'm very sad, upset, & confused that this happened to me. I also feel embarrassed that I have to get this at 25 years old. I'm a C.N.A and my residents have pacemakers...I worry that since I'm getting mines now will I even make it to there age! I'm also very scared about having this surgery not only is it life changing it going to be something I have to live with for the rest of my life.

9 Comments

It's ok to be scared

by Grateful Heart - 2014-11-11 01:11:41

This is all new to you and nobody likes surgery, especially when it involves your heart.....the nucleus of our being. We can help get you through this.

The waiting and anticipation leading up to the surgery date is the worst part.

It is sad and upsetting in the beginning but knowledge is power. The more you learn about your condition and device, the more comfortable you will become and then you can educate your friends and family and ease their minds as well.

It takes a little while to get used to hosting a device but when you accept that the PM has helped and even saved your life, I think the feeling of embarrassment will most likely change. Like I told my son recently, some people need help with their eyes....so they wear glasses. Some people need help with their hearing...so they have hearing aids.....and some people need help with their hearts, in our case, the electrical part of the heart, so we need pacemakers/ ICD's. Thank God for the great people who invented and perfected these devices.

I picture you becoming the best C.N.A. possible for your residents, you will know exactly what they go through as well as some of their fears.

If you have any questions, just ask. Everyone here is always willing to help and many are extremely knowledgeable about our devices.

Grateful Heart

I know how you feel

by rolson - 2014-11-11 03:11:48

I was always the caretaker, now I need care for a while. But, what the heck, I am healthy and now I'm not. ..all the fears and things you have seem and helped with its coming back to haunt you cause now you are the one with a health issue. I too was afraid of the surgery,and waiting a while for it makes it worse cause you don't feel well while you wait. I was where you are just one week ago. All I can say is, the surgery was not near as bad as i thought it would be. Hardly remember any of it. And, having my new little friend is not as weird as i thought either. I am still learning to live with it but after I stated feeling a little better I was not as afraid of all the what if's. Nothing I can say will make it all better till you get your pacemaker. Except, knowledge is power and a powerful person is not as afraid. And read all you can. That helped me most. It's quite a journey, I hope you enjoy at least part of the ride.

@ Grateful Heart

by Tink89 - 2014-11-11 07:11:14

Thank you that is the same thing that I will tell my son because he was very worried about me going back to the hospital. Thank you for your kind words and understanding!

@ rolson

by Tink89 - 2014-11-11 07:11:17

Oh LORD! You are so right ...The waiting is the worst! But Since I joined this site yes I have been educating myself and trying to understand whats going on with me a little bit better. It honestly does help to know more about the pacemaker it makes me a little bit less nervous.

@ AngerySparrow1

by Tink89 - 2014-11-11 07:11:40

First I want to say I am very sorry for the lost of your husband. Second I don't need a attitude check at all I just need people who can understand what I am going through and can help in anyway! I understand what you are saying and I am a very intelligent person but you need to understand this is very new to me and its soooo hard to believe that this is now my new normal! I was told by all of the nurses in the I.C.U that OMG young lady your just so young Omg wow omg only 25! Also let mot forget the family! Wow man you have a messed up heart at only 25....were you ever on drugs??? Let not forget the H.R at my job who looked at me like I was a big liar for telling them why I need to apply for disability!Oh yeah and let not for get my husband who always is honestly trying to help but he always worry about if I will grow old with him due to my heart! So GUESS WHAT! This is my new normal and please don't disrespect me like that again! I joined this page because I seen that people were on there 3rd, 4th, or even 5th pacemaker! I even seen one of the member Quotes that said "I am not planning on letting any of this shorten my life. I am planning on lining a long happy battery operated life." That was the first time I smiled in about 2 months! I'm always helping and taking care of everyone from home( mother & wife), Work( C.N.A.) and school( nursing student) but now idk if I will be able to do that anymore. So please try to understand that if you cant thats 100% fine also have a wonderful day!

@ Theknotguy

by Tink89 - 2014-11-11 07:11:47

All I have to say is WOW! I do really get worn out super fast so that is a great thing to hear all what you were able to do and what other people with the pm are doing! I did think a lot of things like that would not be anything that I could do. I am still a bit nervous but I must say your post was very helpful. Thanks you

Thank You!

by Tink89 - 2014-11-11 07:11:48

All of you guys are true angels it feels really nice to be able to be apart of the Pacemaker Club. All of my friends and family are by my side but they don't understand and it feels really nice to vent and ask for help from people who know what I am going through!


Thanks a Bunch
Tink89

Glad you found us Tink

by Grateful Heart - 2014-11-11 08:11:24

You sound better already.

I think most of us were a bowl full of quivering jello when we were told we needed a device. The fact that we can forget about that is a good sign. :-)

Grateful Heart

A lot of life to live

by Theknotguy - 2014-11-11 08:11:34

You have a lot of life to live. Having a pacemaker does have some restrictions but the advantages far outweigh the restrictions.

We have people on this forum who are skydiving, scuba diving, bicycling, participating in triathlons, running, running marathons, weight lifting, and more. In short they carry on a very normal life even though they have a PM.

So you will want to start thinking in terms of what you can do instead of what you can't. As sparrow said, the PM gives you back your life.

In the 1950's my Mother died from nephritis. Today, you hardly hear about the defect. We have medications, dialysis, kidney transplants. So kidney problems that would have killed someone years ago aren't a problem now. Same for you. Heart problems that have hurt prior generations in your family aren't such a big problem today. And, the longer you live, the more discoveries that are made, the better the treatment, the longer your life expectancy.

You can request responses from other 20+ year old people on this forum. I'm sure they will tell you they are living normal lives and perhaps better lives because they have a PM.

If you continue to feel depressed about having to use a PM, you can request help through your medical people. I talked with a psychologist right after I got my PM. It really helped and probably stopped me from getting depression. So there is help available to you besides this forum.

Last year it took two people to lift me out of bed. I could take four steps and had to sit down because I was too exhausted to go any further.

This year - Last week I moved 2400 pounds at the warehouse using a pallet jack. Cut down a 30 foot tree and cleaned up the mess. Last Friday I took the dogs on a 4 1/2 mile hike. The dogs were worn out, I was still going. All of that, and with a PM too. Took a trip to the UK. Took a trip to Canada. In fact I wouldn't have been able to do all of those things without the PM. So it's a definite positive for me.

Hope you start to feel better about your life soon. My best wishes.

You know you're wired when...

You’re a battery-operated lover.

Member Quotes

My ICD/pacer is not a burden. I still play tennis and golf.