Feeling a little depressed!

Thanks Sheila, I appreciate your responding to my question! and it helps to just know somebody understood what I was talking about. I am not a depressed person by nature at all, but have felt that way some since the surgery!! I go back for my checkup this Thursday, my first since my surgery. I also have felt my heart feel like it "skips," don't know if that is the right word for it or not, that is just the way it feels, but I suppose that is why I have a PM!! Before I received it, my heart would race like it was pounding really hard. It had just begun to do that a few weeks before I got the PM. At that time it felt as if it was going to jump out of my body. I had NEVER ever had that happen. So it was a real shock to me to find out there was something wrong with my heart. Again, thanks for responding. I am really glad to have found this site, as it was quite by accident! The posts that people have made and gotten answers to have helped me understand some things I knew nothing about!! Thank you!!

2 Comments

you are welcome

by bluebowtye - 2014-10-14 04:10:43

Hi!

I think that when we suddenly find out there is something wrong with our hearts and learn we have to have a PM it is very shocking indeed and hard to grasp mentally. Especially when we felt fine for the most part beforehand. My only symptoms prior were 2 syncope episodes one night, the first while I was sitting on my couch doing nothing. I had donated blood the night before and got new glasses so I attributed the fainting to that even though I have never fainted before in my life. My husband called 911 and the paramedics came. They couldn't find anything wrong me but told me to get to the Dr. asap. I went the next day and after lots of tests was told 2 weeks later that I had Mobitz II AV block and that I needed a PM right away. That was on a Wednesday and my surgery was scheduled for the following Monday.

I have found I pay a lot more attention to my heart beating now. I have not noticed the skipping sensation you describe but sometimes I can feel it just pounding really hard even though I am not exerting myself at the time. I don't know if that's because of the PM or not. I have had one interrogation in the office and have sent 2 remote ones now. They both showed everything was normal (I am currently pacing 30% in the ventricle and 3% in the atrium) but the last one showed 25 SVT episodes and 1 VT so I'm hoping that doesn't lead to more problems down the road.

This site has helped me more than anything. I did not find it until after my implant when I was looking for support online since I did not know anyone personally who had a device. I have learned so much and found the more I learned about PMs and my particular condition the easier it was to accept and deal with. It was also very comforting to me to know there were others dealing with almost the exact same thing and that my feelings were very normal. My implant was 8 months ago and it has gotten a lot better but I admit I still struggle mentally sometimes.

My biggest thing is I have gained about 10-15 pounds since my surgery and I am having a very hard time getting it back off. I don't know why, but I just don't always feel like exercising anymore. I think some of it is pacer related and the other part is just dealing with life's trials and tribulations and that has me a little depressed. But I just try to take one day at a time and try not to dwell on the fact that I have electrical problems with my heart and know that even with them I can live a long normal life for the most part.

Take care and good luck to you, please let us know how your first check goes!
~Sheila

It's normal

by Theknotguy - 2014-10-14 07:10:54

Any time you have to rely upon a piece of equipment to live you are subject to getting depression. I was one of the really fortunate people who sailed through my PM implant without a hitch. I had read that up to 80% of the people who get a PM are subject to depression. Now I can't find the article that gave the number - so don't rely on it. I question numbers given in some of the articles anyway. But feeling a little depressed is normal.

I had to get a CPAP quite a few years ago. I had to go through a period of depression because I had to rely upon the CPAP in order to survive. Didn't like it, don't like it, but I'd rather be alive than dead.

So when I woke up in the hospital after a six day coma and they told me I had a PM, I wasn't surprised as I felt the PM in my body. Didn't get depressed as I had gone through the mental gyrations with my CPAP.

The thinking I had to go through is that a lot of people are alive who would otherwise be dead because of modern medicine. My Mother died from nephritis in 1955. You don't hear about people dying from nephritis now because we have dialysis machines, kidney transplants, and better medicine. We don't think a thing about it. So, for me, it was the same for the PM. It's another machine and another medical tool that wasn't as readily available just a few years ago. No reason to get depressed - although your hind-brain doesn't always feel that way.

About the "skipping" heart.... You get a lot of quirks and twinges after you get the PM. My heart was accustomed to doing its own thing. After getting the PM it would see my heart wasn't beating properly, step in, and initiate a heartbeat. I'd go on coughing jags because I was accustomed to the "old" way. The regulated heartbeat felt like my heart was skipping - also that it was beating too soon. It was the first time in a long time that I had felt a regular heartbeat! Oh, and I wasn't accustomed to the 60 BPM. I was warm, almost hot, most of the time. Also more alert - although my wife would argue about being more alert.

You may feel that your heart is "pounding" with the PM. That's normal. They set the PM voltage higher for the first three months, then reduce it after the three month period. I had trouble sleeping until they reduced the voltage. Sometimes the heavier pounding would wake me up at night.

Things you can do in the meantime. Hydrate - drink a little more water than you normally used to. It doesn't make sense but for some reason it helps. Keep moving - exercise a little more - that helps. Don't sit and brood - get out and do something. Enjoy your PM - sounds funny but it's an amazing piece of equipment.

Oh, and you'll hear a lot about things you can't do because you have a PM. Take everything with a grain of salt. I was told the following: You can't be in a room with a microwave oven - wrong! (It says in my PM manual that microwave ovens are OK.) You can't use a remote car key - wrong! Electric sensors in stores will bother your PM - wrong! You can't go through security sensors in airports - wrong! (But I still tell them I have a PM.) You can't go through metal detectors - wrong! (But I still warn the operators I have a PM.) You can't be near electric motors - wrong! (I volunteer at a charity woodshop and run all kinds of electric motors.) Oh, and one person on this forum had her hairdresser refuse to work on her hair because of the electric clippers - wrong!
Just hearing all this stuff can make you depressed.

The most problem I've had with the PM is when I grabbed a Sawzall saw and started to cut wood. Completely forgot my PM has an accelerometer. So when it felt the vibration from the saw it kicked up my heart rate. What a rush! So now I have to run the Sawzall with my right arm.

I just passed my one year anniversary with my PM. Couldn't feel better. Hang in there. Life does get better!

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