info for a newbie

I have only had my pacemaker two months and find myself falling into a deep depression. I have always been the incurable optimist, the one who was there to cheer everyone else up. Now I find myself avoiding people, crying over nothing (never did this before) and to be honest I don't really care about tomorrow. Is it the pacemaker or just me?

8 Comments

Depression

by Baz - 2014-06-13 01:06:03

Hello,

I did too after my implant. I also take Bisoprolol that I think may give me depression.

Please see the doctor and get some help, I did. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it helped me. Please don't leave it................

Good luck

I know the feeling

by gil - 2014-06-13 01:06:26

Facing our own mortality is a tough row to hoe. Its been nearly a year since my visitor took up residence, and I have good days and bad days as far as depression is concerned. Heart-wise I feel good but still sometimes the ol' depression comes a calling. It passes though (comes and goes), hang in there.

depression

by judyblue - 2014-06-13 03:06:17

You came to the right spot! I became almost non functionally depressed after pm surgery last november. My gynecologist is the only doctor who listens and cares about me, so I spoke to her about this. (my primary said I must come to accept my new normal)
My gyno tells me to give myself through the holidays to feel bad (I don't like the self recrimination of "feeling sorry for myself" or "pity party"). She also put me on wellbutrin. That did help, but I have had continual pain and limitations due to pm surgery, and depression is still there. Ironically she renewed my prescription for double the amount and I decided to take the two doses a day after an evening I simply could not stop crying. (about 5 months post surgery). It really helped. I tried counseling, but the only guy on the insurance list thought he could help me by telling me to sue my cardiologist; did not want to hear about my depression. So I no longer waste time or money on him. Don't take that wrong: if you can find a loving therapist- hang onto her or him!
But to echo the previous posts- don't waste your time judging how you should or should not feel. If you are depressed, you are depressed- no judgement from you! No one knows what we go through that has not gone through it. I blasted my brother for telling me "oh its no big deal, I know lots of people with pacemakers". Well come to find out -, he told me that because he was so worried! He was trying to make himself feel better! go figure!
Hang in there, and let us know what you did for yourself and how it worked.
judy

Thanks

by skidunk - 2014-06-13 04:06:45

Thanks for the advice and support. Like I said in my first posting this is entirely out of character for me. It is a bad time of year, in the past four years during the month of June I lost a granddaughter, two sisters, a nephew and my husband. I handled each loss with courage and held everyone else up, now all of a sudden it has hit me. Especially since the pacemaker. OMG just read what I have written. Does anyone out there have some cheese to go with all this whine.

It is NOT the PM...

by donr - 2014-06-13 06:06:30

....but your mental reaction to the entire procedure.

Read your last comment again - all those losses in June... That grief has been stored in your sub-conscious mind for years, now & piling up for 4 yrs.

You may THINK that you were getting over the grief, but you really weren't. Add the PM procedure & KAZANG!!!!! into depression you go.

Depression is not a rare occurrence for patients who undergo ANY heart surgery. The PM implant community my look on it as a "Simple" procedure of little consequence or trauma to the patient. Well, it is NOT! Ever read "Moby Dick," Herman Melville's classic tale about whaling? Consider the trauma a whale goes through when a harpoon is jammed into its side. Well, that just happened to your heart. Some guy sneaked up on it (From the inside) & jammed a harpoon (or two) into it. Fortunately he was not in a long boat propelled by 8 guys pulling on oars! Can you imagine the confusion in there with all those oars going back & forth?

Depression is not something to take lightly or try to dismiss w/ a wave of the hand.

Yours sounds like a case that could stand a session or two w. a shrink who specializes in depression post-op for cardiac patients. It should react positively to just a few sessions w/ a specialist. There are at least two major universities that have full time shrinks in their cardio depts especially for patients who suffer what you are going through. Univ of FLA in Gainesville, FL & a med school in one of the Carolinas.

Don't suffer w/ this additional burden - there is help available - seek it.

Donr

Heart Procedure = Depression

by NiceNiecey - 2014-06-13 09:06:56

Don't worry, Friend, you're not alone.

I write this frequently on this site but here it goes again . . .any procedure performed on the heart, whether it's getting a PM, having open heart surgery, etc has the potential to cause depression. I don't know why but there is something chemical happening when one's heart is "messed with" and it can cause depression. It's not that you are doing something wrong; you aren't. It is a natural, chemical response.

Don't let it go too long before you get help. There are so many good meds out there these days and it will probably be a temporary situation.

Keep us posted.

Ditto

by Dawnie - 2014-06-13 10:06:04

I'm exactly 2 months down the line from having my 1st pm implanted and feeling pretty much the same. Physically it's amazing but hard to adjust emotionally. I'm taking it day at a time. My little tin heart has given me my life back but it's a massive adjustment.
Having this group is fantastic. We can share our experiences and feelings with others who are going through the same things. It's such a help to know we are not alone.
I find the hardest adjustment is getting family and friends to accept that I am 'repaired' and able to live a normal life again. It's difficult for everyone.
I wouldn't go back to how I was pre implant but was not prepared at all for how I would actually feel and cope with the fact that a pm does what I should be able to do naturally.
For now I have decided to accept the physical benefits and cope with the rest a little at a time.
We will get there and it's such a help to know we can do so with others in the same situation.
I really hope you feel better soon but be good to yourself as you adjust. It's a big deal.
Let's take it day at a time and agree we can let off steam here with others who understand and keep us right.
I am so glad I found this group.
I wish you well and will be here for you if I can help in any way..Dawn

Skidunk

by Grateful Heart - 2014-06-14 06:06:39


You have been through a lot in the past 4 years. A lot of grief and sadness and it sounds like you held it together for those around you.

Now it's your turn to need help. Take care of yourself and speak to a professional if necessary. Let someone listen to you now. You would probably be telling a loved one to seek help so take your own advice.

I'm sorry you guys are having such a hard time emotionally.

Dawnie: Consider when someone needs a hip or knee replacement. That device helps that part of the body which can no longer do what it should naturally. Others have stents and without that intervention, would not be alive. Just a few examples of other types of devices which are not "natural".

As far as family and friends, try educating them about your device and condition to make them more comfortable. It may take a little more time but they will get used to it, 2 months out is not very long.

I know you all realize how lucky we are to have these devices. Sometimes just talking about it lessens the fear of it, whether it be to family, friends or professionals.

Take care,

Grateful Heart

You know you're wired when...

You have a 25 year mortgage on your device.

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