I'm tired

Hi guys I'm Lee I'm 25 years of age. I just had a pacemaker implant June 2014. It has been a stressful procedure as I complicated during the procedure. Then shortly after I had syncope episodes which were ocurring everday. They have stopped now though, I'm tire of all this. And the problems surrounding me are just to much. Sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed. I feel depressed and sometimes suicidal, I don't know what to do. My heart just feels tired literally I'm really hopeless. Please I need help, I feel overwhelmed

11 Comments

Thanks guys

by Lee24 - 2014-12-30 01:12:03

I'll try to get help soon

Thanks guys

by Lee24 - 2014-12-30 02:12:23

@ Artist I will try to get out there and find a purpose to life. @ Greatful heart my baby keeps me going, I will get help and I will be a good mother to him.

How I wish you guys were close by, you are like my family now. I know I will be okay soon :)

It takes time to adjust

by Artist - 2014-12-30 02:12:24

Lee, I'm 73 years old and that probably sounds sounds ancient to a 25 year old like you! I have always been very fit and active and found myself feeling some depression after my pacemaker was implanted. Part of that was the reminder my pacemaker gave me of my vulnerability and dependence on an artificial device. It takes time to adjust and I told a friend that my best days are when I don't feel my heart beating at all. I forget that anything is wrong. I have had some friends who contemplated suicide and one even required medical intervention. They all have told me how grateful they they now are to be alive. One thing that has helped me throughout my life is to " get out of myself".
Focus on someone else who might need a hand up or a cheerful word of encouragement. People are amazing in their strength and determination to be as well as they possibly can and focus on what they do have and not the circumstances that they can't change. When I find myself getting down in the dumps, I do art work, play music, talk to a friend and concentrate on their needs etc. When you get in the "old Codger" group like I am you find out that smelling the roses has to be right here right now. I look around and realize how much I have to be grateful for compared to so many others. Another thing to consider is the side effects of medications. Mine tend to make me lethargic and a little out of it, but they really do help to control my irregular heart beat. I just have to make up my mind to get up, get out and get moving--to focus on things other than my "wonky" heart. I hope you can find a good friend to share your deepest thoughts with along with some laughter. Please know that am not making light of your situation, but oh how I would love to be 25 again. Really there is joy out there waiting for you if you give it a chance. Help someone else who is down and in need and it will lift you up and lighten your burdens. The comments to get counseling are good. There are various resources for counseling, including churches. Perhaps your doctor could get you in touch with some good resources. Meanwhile, keep talking to us here. Best wishes, I send loving thoughts your way.

Two magic Words.......

by donr - 2014-12-30 05:12:38

.....that we don't like to hear - because they are beyond our ability to really help you: DEPRESSED and SUICIDAL.

You need professional help for those two - IMMEDIATELY.

They tell me that you have given up the fight & need an intervention from someone right there who can help you one-on-one, up close & personal.

The one hope I see is that you recognize that you are in trouble & you have reached out for help. It is just that we cannot really do it via remote control.

The best we can do is to buoy your spirits & guide you to the people who can help you. There is help available and it can work pretty fast for those who truly seek it & WANT it.

Your FIRST STEP is to find a good SHRINK. At this point, don't worry about the second step & beyond - you have to take this first one NOW while you are willing & interested in recovering your health.

I wish you well - there is hope and things can - and will - get better if you do your part, which is reaching out to the appropriate source..

Donr

get help TODAY

by Tracey_E - 2014-12-30 09:12:35

I'm glad you posted here. We are happy to be your listening ears and a shoulder to lean on, but pleasepleaseplease also get professional help. Depression is a disease, you need to get help to treat it like any other disease. Once you get a handle on your emotions, you may find some of the fatigue goes away. When I had depression, I wanted to sleep all the time. Good luck to you. If you ever want to chat, feel free to send me a private message. Things can and will get better. There's no reason to think you can't live a full, normal life once you get past these hurdles.

Lee

by NiceNiecey - 2014-12-30 10:12:54

I feel so bad when I read about younger PM recipients that are struggling, you included.

Please consider that any time a procedure is performed on the heart, it can cause depression.

Your little girl is only about 6 months old, right? You're also a prime candidate for post-partum depression.

You've been hit with enzymatic AND hormonal depression. Please see your primary physician without delay for help.

I will pray for your encouragement and healing.

Lee

by Grateful Heart - 2014-12-30 11:12:30

Listen to these guys and get some professional help. Your baby needs you.

I just went back and read some of your posts. You have been through a lot this past year.

You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby. I hope you have someone to help you at home. If not, get someone to help with your baby, even for just a little while.

There is so much joy growing up with your baby. You don't want to miss that.

Take that first step and get help for yourself. You can do this. We can help with the pacemaker after you take care of yourself.

Your baby needs you.

Grateful Heart

rough going

by judyblue - 2014-12-31 09:12:22

Lee, I know just how you feel because that was me for about 6 months after implant. I got mine sept. 2013.
After two months of misery I got on wellbutrin. It helped immensely. Then I had to up the dose. I hate that I depend on these meds, but then I think the alternative did not help anyone! Please ask any of your doctors for help. I could not get my primary or my cardiologist to help me. It was my gynocologist who seems to understand, and prescribe the meds. Don't give up there are a lot of options out there. Ending it all is not one of them!! Please keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
judy

Living close by

by Grateful Heart - 2014-12-31 12:12:42


I can tell you are a great mother and he is your purpose in life right now.

I wish we lived close by too.

Grateful Heart

Reaching out to you

by Fran - 2015-01-04 01:01:43

Lee, like one of the other responders, I'm 75 - but I can remember my mid 20's only too well. At 25 I'd already had three children, and was totally overwhelmed. I was forced to deal with the reality of our third (and fourth child's) handicaps - and I'm very lucky that I didn't have to cope with heart issues until this year. Please, call your family doctor, ask for recommendations for a therapist. If you have family nearby, ask for help. You're dealing with too many issues right now, and you need some practical help as well. If you go to a church, ask your minister to help you find people who can assist you in getting help - but please, please, find someone who lives near you and ask them to help you get the help you (and your baby!) need. The hardest thing in the world is asking for help, particularly when you are young - but the people on this list genuinely care about you. Fran

pushing forward

by andyfowler - 2015-03-23 04:03:41

Hi Lee I'm Andy and I'm 28,
I had a cardiac arrest at the gym in October and now have an ICD fitted. It felt like the hole world was against me and nothing was going my way. In a way its still not good, I'm still undergoing tests to find out what happened. but as everyone else has said I have been talking to a professional about all of my worries.
It does help and it took a massive weight of my shoulders. If you need to pm me for anything make sure you do.

Andy

You know you're wired when...

The mortgage on your device is more than your house.

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I, too, am feeling tons better since my implant.