Thank you all

Thank you all for your comments. I am a very compassionate person, but maybe it is self-pity is what I am experiencing. I have had thirteen treatments (Shocks) and believe me I hate every single one. But I guess it is because I would not like to be a burden to anyone and if I receive a treatment and I am with someone at the time I know they would just freakout. That is why I tell them up front about my physical health. I cannot live alone because a treatment may come at any moment. I live with my mother and I am fifty one. I want a life for myself so badly to be able to share what the dear Lord gives me. I have tried suicide twice and ask the dear Lord to help me live a happy life and I am way beyond that since I let the dear Lord into my life. My time is spent with my grand-children, but still feel the emptiness inside. I am not a bad looking person and I am a retired police officer due to medical. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced the same and if so what did they do or is it right not to mention the Pace-maker.

1 Comments

get help

by Tracey_E - 2013-01-31 04:01:14

Suicidal thoughts need medical help!!! Depression is a disease, it will not go away on its own. Please, please find someone to talk to, a counselor or someone through your church.

I only mention my pm if it comes up in conversation. Most of the time, I forget it's there and I don't let it affect my life.

You know you're wired when...

You trust technology more than your heart.

Member Quotes

I have had my pacer since 2005. At first it ruled my life. It took some time to calm down and make the mental adjustment. I had trouble sleeping and I worried a lot about pulling wires. Now I just live my life as I wish.