The return od Brer B'ar

Well, he's been back - several times Last night he surprised Wife when she went out to the car to get something she had forgotten. I watched her through her front window as she walked up as far as the right front fender, then saw her start running. I looked out the side window & saw The Bear (apologies to William Faulkner) running toward the front of the house. She got to the door before the bear got anywhere near where she was. Then we discovered that he had lifted the big plastic lid off the access cover to our septic tank. (Remember that we live in the woods so do not have community sewage service.)

He got to the front of the house & ambled up to the front door to leave another nose print on the glass.

Today I called the Georgia Dept of Natural Resources To talk about moving a nuisance bear. One of their field agents came out & checked out the place. Said if it kept up the wanderings through the yard & made any REAL attempt to get into the house that they would trap & move him. There is a state Wildlife Management Area about 20 miles from here & that's where he'd go.

The agent looked at my photos of Brer B'ar & pronounced him to be a two yr old male who was just this spring chased away from home by his mother & is searching for a territory of his own to rule. Estimated that he weighed only about 150 lbs through all that hair. There are two hazards for the bear if he is moved - 1) He might get killed by a car or truck on the road while trying to find his way back here. 2) He might stumble on a bigger, older, meaner bear who would actually kill & eat him. I commented to the agent that he must know this bigger bear. He said "Yeh - he lives about 6 miles north of here & checks in at about 5 or 600 lbs - be lucky that HE isn't wandering around your yard." On that happy thought, we parted company. Strange part of this bear story is that we are the only ones in the neighborhood who have seen him!

Don

10 Comments

REAL Attempt?

by Grateful Heart - 2013-06-24 09:06:36

Yikes....he tried your doorknob....sounds pretty real to me. Glad Mrs. donr is ok, scary stuff. As you know, the problem is there are hazards for you too.

I guess that's the difference between bears and humans. I still have a few cubs at home...we're not chasing them away....it's still nice having them around :)

Grateful Heart

Sue ????

by IAN MC - 2013-06-25 02:06:12

Why are you bracketing me with Don. ? He's the one who's gone mad, not me !

Not once have I claimed to see a bear at my front door...i may have had other fantasies as you well know but bears..definitely not !

Ian x

Scary !!!

by sue uk - 2013-06-25 02:06:42

And l dont mean the bear.....................Donr & IAN what goes on in your heads is much more frightening than any bear !
Sue X

Maybe you've gone mad ??

by IAN MC - 2013-06-25 05:06:09

hmmmm ...a 150 lb bear staring at you through the window and you are the only one in the neighborhood who has seen it !!!

Could it be, Don, that THERE IS NO BEAR !

That nose print on your front door glass is your's !! Every time you have one of your funny turns and stand for hours staring out through the glass in your front door you leave yet another nose print.

.... and then there is the sleep deprivation which can have an enormous affect on your mental status.

It is possible that the chap who said he was from the Georgian Dept of Natural Resources is in fact a psychiatric community worker on one of his home visits..to tell you that there is an even bigger bear 6 miles away is all part of the therapy to win your trust.

Work has been published in the "Siberian Journal of Post Pacemaker Psychic Phenomena " which indicates that many people think they see bears a few years after implant ( Snitch probably has even more references ).

What I suggest is that you tell them about it at your next PM interrogation; it could be that one of the settings needs adjusting.

I hope this is helpful

Ian

Ian makes sense!!!!!

by donr - 2013-06-25 08:06:10

Like Dorothy in the Land of OZ (NOT to be confused w/ Australia), I do have weird friends. It goes w/ the territory up here. One of them has a crow standing on his shoulder that keeps picking straw out fro under his hat; the second claims to have had a double knee joint replacement & carries around an oil can & keeps squirting oil on them - claims it is part of the recovery PT, but I'm starting to wonder. All that oil is sure messy - gets all over everything when he sits on the settee watching TV. Then there's the third one - now he's a case. Wife claims he's a big stuffed animal, but the rest of us know that he's really a rare surviving Asiatic lion from the Holy Land. Man, is he a coward, though. Every time The Bear comes 'round, he hides behind the other three of us & gnaws on his tail. All the fur is chewed off it. Worse than that, he keeps chanting "Lions & Tigers & Bears," for whatever reason, I don't know.

I have not rec'd my copy of the "Siberian Journal of Post Pacemaker Psychic Phenomena" this month, so have not read that article. I'm looking forward to it, now that you have warned me about it. Now that you mention it, I'm kinda disappointed in Inga - she usually keeps me posted on unusual phenomena like this. She has, however warned me about inviting bears into the house for tea - says they slurp a lot & are messy eaters when the biscuits are passed. She said something cryptic about some of her refs over-stimulating me & causing hallucinations about some of the weirder arrhythmias they discuss. She said she was afraid that I'd take to trying self-operating on myself trying to do a valve replacement, only using a kitchen knife. Her main fear seemed to be that the wrong one of my split personalities would try to perform the surgery & she's too far away in Berlin to come pick up the pieces when things went south on us.

Ian, now that you mention it, the DNR Guy was a bit strange - he talked in sort of a boring, sing-song pattern, all the while swinging his pocket watch back & forth - claimed ro have a rather Germanic name - Friend, Freund, or something like that. Also kept asking how my Mother was & if she saw the bear, also. Said he'd be back next month to check on the bear again - but seemed more interested in my Lion friend. Said that he had some deep-seated inadequacies of his own, bordering on cowardice. Hmmmmmmm...

Ian, have you been to a tea party w/ a White Rabbit & some nutcase wearing a funny hat?

Don

Speaking of animals at the...

by donr - 2013-06-25 08:06:21

...front door...

Several yrs ago, things were pretty tight for us financially - I mean REALLY tight. Since this is a family site, I cannot give you an analogy, but it involves the human anatomy.

Any way, the creditors kept coming & I stalled them off, one at a time. Then they ganged up on me & things really got rough. Well, finally there were 15 of them all at once & we had an all out brawl, right inside the front door, but 15:1 odds are just a fair fight after teaching classes full of college senior engineers, so I prevailed quite handily.

The next night, the wolf showed up at my door, hired. I suppose, by the creditors. Being unafraid of Lions & Tigers & Bears, I kept the wolf at bay, till one night bitter cold snowy night, SHE showed up slovering & growling as per usual, hair on the nape of her neck standing straight up, great yellow eyes sparkling in the reflected light from our fireplace (The electricity had been turned off by now & we only had heat & light from all the past due bills burning merrily on the hearth).

I suddenly realized that she wasn't really angry - she was great w/ a litter of pups & very cold & uncomfortable, so I snatched the last marrow bone from our starving first-born & enticed the wolf into the house to share the meager bit of heat we had. Shortly, she relaxed & curled up around the hungry First Born & they lay there on the hearth jointly gnawing on the marrow bone till they fell fast asleep.

About 2 AM, I was awakened by the most pitiful howling coming from the living room & ran it to see that the wolf was in the process of giving birth to a fine litter of 8 squirming pups.

This was the answer to all our prayers. As soon as they were ready to be weaned, we took the pups to the closest zoo & sold them, solving all our financial woes.

The moral to this story is............

TA DA! When the wolf comes to the door, be observant - she may have a litter of pups that you can sell......

GROAAAAAAAN!

Well, so much for a response to Patch's request for more BS.

Don

the bear........baby, mama or papa???

by Hope - 2013-06-25 12:06:05

Hi! Don, If 'the bear' is as real as you say, he seems to be closing in on your house. Did you ever read Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Hopefully, we are talking Baby Bear, and Mama Bear and Papa Bear are not yet to come. Thinking you should keep all shutters closed, no porridge visible on counters, windows and doors securely locked and no long walks in the woods with the house unattended. You may have the beginning of a best seller here! Seriously, take care and keep us entertained. Hopeful Heart

This bear...

by donr - 2013-06-25 12:06:27

...is not yet old enough & has not gotten into eating people food to be incorrigible - yet!.

If, as the wildlife guy said, he's a 2 yr old, he just left Mama & is hunting a new territory. He was after our bird feeder & we took it down as soon as we realized what was going on. We don't leave garbage outside, nor do we leave dog food outside. Can't say that for ALL our neighbors.

He still is a bit skittish about people - we think. We live essentially inside the woods, our neighbors all live in the open & in a group. Since they have not seen him, we think we have a few days to see what he will do in the area.

I keep a 20 gage shotgun handy w/ a deer slug in it. At the ranges we have been, that will stop him. This is people country right now w/ the Black Bears are moving back into areas they once roamed in plentiful numbers. The DNR estimates 5100 bears in the state.

Don

Hope & the Three Bears...

by donr - 2013-06-26 12:06:10

...Hey - at least I'm only messing around w/ Black Bears. Read Sparrow's last comment - she has Grizzlies to contend with looking in her bathroom window. Now THAT's a killing machine.

Our #2 son goes elk hunting in some area of wilderness up in the center of the US. They all carry a .45 revolver loaded w/ what they call "Bear loads." I asked him once if they ever go to the range & practice w/ the Bear Load. His answer was "Dad, are you nuts? that load will practically break your arm when you fire it & is meant to be used only when all else fails & your range to the bear is measured in a few feet."

Don

I'm Inshulted that...

by donr - 2013-06-27 01:06:13

...yew wood accushe me uv im (hic) bibing in incohol wyle High on Hic Metoprolol. I'll have ewe no hic that I've never hic been under the affluence of inkohol while taking Metoprolol! You, shir, are an abomination to shivility four making Shuch an ackushazation!!!!

I take Acebutolol!!!

You're humble hic shervunt...
Don

You know you're wired when...

You can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.

Member Quotes

We are ALIVE! How wonderful is modern medicine.