children and worry

well tomorrow three of my children have ECG to check for LONG WAVE Q T SYNDROME and im terrified for them :( i know that if they are positive they can be monitored ect but doesnt help my mind accept the situation :(
Has anyone else passed on a hereditary heart condition to their children and how did you cope with the guilt?
Abi

4 Comments

Gene Testing for LQTS

by donr - 2012-09-23 10:09:29

Ouch: You are going to wear yourself out worrying about things you cannot control!

1) You can do NOTHING more for your three children than you are doing now..How old are they? Legal adults or minors? If they are legal adults, you can do nothing for them - you no longer have responsibility for them in any way. If they are minors, you can act for them ONLY til they reach the age of majority.

2) Being terrified for them will not help them in any way. Were you never 18 & going to live forever? A wise couselor once told us that "You cannot want something for someone else," when we were having teen problems w/ #2 Son. We soon discovered she was RIGHT!

3) Guilt - FOR WHAT? Did you give birth to them intentionally having a hereitary genetic defect? Guilt is only for doing something intentionally wrong to another person. Did the medical community even know before you had chidren that there was a Long QT defect that could be passed on? Were you tested for it before having chidren? Some of the genes have only been discovered in the last 15 yrs. It's OK to feel sad about their condition if they have it, but guilt, no. You can do all in your power to make sure that they know what it is all about & what they can do about it. But, do not be surprised if they look at you and either yawn or roll their eyes.

Don

no guilt

by Tracey_E - 2012-09-23 10:09:39

Why would you feel guilty? We pass on good traits and unfortunately also bad ones, we don't have any control over which of our genes the kids get. The only way to guarantee no less-than-desirable genes get passed on is to not have kids. I had both of my kids tested, fortunately neither has my condition. Saying a prayer your children are ok, too. If they do find something, it's not the end of the world because you'll know what you are dealing with and they will be monitored. If eventually it gets to be a problem, it will be fixed. You are their example, be strong and show them curveballs life throws us make us stronger. Worry is normal, but imo guilt is a waste of energy. Very best wishes for 3 sets of good results tomorrow.

no guilt whatsoever...I agree!!!

by novie - 2012-09-25 01:09:34

I hope everything went okay for your kids....I have to agree with Don and Tracy...don't feel guilty at all...they know you love them and you will be there for them no matter what.. ...you will know what to do...they have to face it one way or another that is if they have it or not...and that goes for you too...prayers will always helps to ease your mind
I have to tell you that my condition is genetic...can you believe I am the only who got it among 8 siblings? My mother had it(God bless her soul)...she passed away 2 days after my pm implant.....I believed that was the most toughest time of my life...her passing.... not my heart problem!...I am given another chance ...so...I just have to deal with it!!!...don't know if my son will have it...who knows???...but I will be there for him too just like you with your kids...I hope to have another 50 years....who knows!!!
my best regards
novie

I agree

by SUPERSALE - 2012-09-30 11:09:45

if your children is adult you can sign paperwork for medical so you can talk
medical office can give you some paperwork to fill out

im 32 year old i had medical legal paper work so family members can talk or get my medical information for me without me

i think that is only way to go you don't need to pay someone to get it legal sign and take it to your bank and get it legal it is free

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