Struggling

Hi,
I've posted a few times and have always found you guys to be very supportive and helpful. I'm struggling with things at the moment and was wondering if anyone had been through a similar thing.
My baby had his PM at 5 days old, he's doing amazingly well and is now a fantastic little 9 month old.
I've struggled to come to terms with what happened over the past 9 months, I've jumped from coping fine and accepting things to breaking down & struggling daily. I've now been diagnosed with post traumatic stress.
Anyone relate to this???
Thanks. X

7 Comments

Thank you.

by Jobo81 - 2012-12-05 08:12:07

Thanks TraceyE, you work hard on this site to always offer advice and support - it doesn't go unnoticed and is very much appreciated.
I've reluctantly sort help from my doctor who is arranging counselling and medication for me.
This is just so out of character for me and I'm having trouble accepting it.
I think this time of year isn't helping either as it was this time last year we found out about the heart block while I was pregnant so all the memories are coming back.
You're right I think it is harder for the parents than children but I'd rather it that way. My baby is doing fantastically and is so happy and content - it frustrates me that I can't just let what happened go.
Thanks for your reply. Xx

Relate to PTSD? I wrote the Book!

by donr - 2012-12-05 08:12:09

Had it since 2120, 15 July 1977, when I had my first symptom.

I'll send you a PM on it.

BTW: We exchanged a couple PM's last mid July.

Glad to hear that baby is doing OK. Sorry to hear Mom is not.

You cannot want something for someone else, but you can help them find their way among the trees & brush to find their own way out of the wilderness.

Don

labels

by Tracey_E - 2012-12-05 08:12:21

I don't pay much attention to labels like that but you've sure been through a stressful time and it's not surprising at all that it's having an effect on you. Do you have a professional you can talk to to get you back on the right track? I'm a big fan of getting a good counselor to help. Sometimes just a couple of visits is all it takes to see things with a new perspective.

I see you found concernedmama, looks like you two might have a lot in common!

If it helps, know that there are quite a few of us here who were born with heart defects and are healthy, active, productive, perfectly normal adults. There are teens and young adults who have been paced since birth like your son. There are others like me born before they gave kids a pm so we got by without until adulthood. I really think it's harder on the parents than the kids. Kids are resilient, don't question mortality or long term, and we've never known anything else so it's not a big deal to us.

Good luck to you!!

hi there

by jessie - 2012-12-05 09:12:14

i hope this helps. when i got my p.m. i was in shock and crying frequently. my husband told me it is okay to cry as he had read that this is exactly what people do when they first receive the shock of needing one. mine was sudden in one day and i had no time to absorb it. so i cried and i cried. it lasted for sometime and then i began to accept it. the baby does not know but you do so you are the one doing the crying for the baby. glad that you say the baby is nine months old and doing well. for awhile i could not sleep at night and my dr put me on antidepressants. this helped but now i am okay with only a natural health food melatonin when i need it. so hope this helps and i think it is very common to experience this.i went thru a similar thing after my daughters birth as it was difficult and the baby was in trouble and at age two she developed epilepsy from the difficult birth. i was very sad and very angry. we sought legal advice and then in 1965 in canada we were told you cannot sue a dr. as they stick to-gether. lol. our daughter ended up very bright in school . she finished an honours degree at university and now runs a mid sized small business with 15 employees. the medication she takes to keep her drivers licence is brutal and when her children begin to drive she will hang up her hat and take the subway to work. if she looks after herself she does not need medication as in sleep healthy diet no alcohol etc. so anything with our children my point is upsets us naturally.peace jessie

PTSD

by Lizzie - 2012-12-05 10:12:17

Hi there,
You poor thing. You have really been through it.
I haven't had to put up with what you have but I have had ptsd after major car crash. It takes time to heal and you have been through major changes in your life. Just go easy on yourself, give yourself time to adapt to new circumstances. I'm sure that your bub will do really well and you will too. Sorry I can't be of more help; but I'm sure that it will all work out for you in time. Just hang in there.
Hope your Christmas is bright and the New Year brings wonderful experiences for you and your family,
Lizzzie from "down under'

I know how you feel

by Um.Laila - 2012-12-09 05:12:30

Dear Jobo81 ,

You going through alot with your pregnancy and then finding out that your baby will need a pacemaker , is a strong reason for you to go through all what you feel.

I have been through nearly the same thing , when i was pregnant with my daughter the doctors have told me that the fetus has a congenital heartblock and it will need a pacemaker when it's born. And so , the pacemaker was implanted in her when she was one week old. She's nearly five years old now , she's doing fine but need's to go for follow up every six months.

I do think of her alot , and sometimes i do ask my-self what will happen to her in the future , but i always tell myself that God is great and no one can predict the future but God.

Um Laila

Hang in there

by dchicago - 2013-01-10 06:01:05

My son had his pacemaker put in the day he was born back in 2008. It was a very rough period for my wife and I. While I did not have to carry the child, the many thoughts about what he could and couldn't do was stressful. I lived out of a hospital for a long time, while my wife was dealing with guilt, even though I reminded her that mother nature simply put down the cards they way they did.

It may be different for everyone, but the first year after birth was the low for me. Things only went up after that. Try surround yourself with friends and family. You need to have people with open ears.

My son is an active 5 year old now, roughhousing and doing all the things that make me laugh and smile. I treat him no differently than my other kids. Now he is going back for his first pacemaker battery replacement and those feelings/thoughts from the first trying months of his life are coming back to me. I'm now trying to figure out how to explain to him what is going to happen and worrying about this and that. I know things will work out in the end. Just hang in there.

You know you're wired when...

Your life has spark.

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My ICD/pacer is not a burden. I still play tennis and golf.