Private Medicine

Good morning Doctor.

Ah, good morning. Are you a patient?

Yes.

Oh good, I have to pay my golf subscriptions this month.

Ian

3 Comments

HI IAN MC...........

by Tattoo Man - 2014-10-23 05:10:29


.........even better if the Doc could diagnose the patient with dementia.....cher-ching...another £55...

TM

Hi Tat Man

by IAN MC - 2014-10-23 07:10:11

I wonder if we self-diagnose senile dementia , do we get the 55 pounds instead of the Dr ??

A few months ago I saw my cardiologist as a private patient . For the sake of his anonymity, let's call him " Dr ExtremelyRich" ( Dr ER for short )

The consultation was along the lines :-

Dr ER .. Mr IAN MC , it is so good to see you; would you like tea or coffee ?

IAN MC .. Coffee please

Dr ER .. Do try these shortbread biscuits, I buy them from a supplier in Scotland

IAN MC .. mmm they are good . How do you like your new car by the way ?

Dr ER .. well it's my second Aston Martin . I will show it to you afterwards. Now what can I do for you today ? I have all the time in the world to help you ..

.. and so it went on and , yes, he did show me his new car after the consultation

A couple of weeks later I saw the same consultant as an NHS patient ( for our overseas friends this is free treatment provided by the state but obviously paid for by our taxes ) :-

Dr ER Good morning, I've looked at the ECG and Echo readings and everything is fine

IAN MC Good

Dr ER ( looking at his watch ) Nurse, would you send in the next patient please

It WAS the same guy but he seemed to have undergone a personality change . Amazing what money can do to a person !

Cheers

Ian

Doctors ,Eh ???.................

by Tattoo Man - 2014-10-24 11:10:27


..................................ATTORNEY; " Did you check the patients pulse befor starting the autopsy " ?

Doctor: "No "

Attorney: "Did you check his Blood Pressure " ?

Doctor ; " No"

Attorney: "Did you check his breathing " ?

Doctor: " No"

Attorney: " How were you sure that the patient was, indeed, dead" ?

Doctor: " His brain was in a jar on my desk "

Attorney Might he nonetheless, still have been alive" ?

Doctor: " Well yes he might have been and quite probably practising Law"..................


TM

You know you're wired when...

You can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.

Member Quotes

So, my advice is to go about your daily routine and forget that you have a pacemaker implanted in your body.