A treatment for low blood pressure !

I've just been to the doctor and was diagnosed with low blood pressure.

He wrote me a prescription for two sets of Ikea self-assembly wardrobes.

Ian

9 Comments

Wine fix

by Lurch - 2014-07-07 02:07:06

Wife has a sign, "Wine is to women what Duct tape is to men, it fixes everything!"

IAN MC..............

by Tattoo Man - 2014-07-07 06:07:35


..............................IKEA comes from Scandinavia, just like LEGO.....

SO.....

The trick is to be creative, and to also be a true Metrosexual...

SO.......

Get the boys round...tank them up with some Toro Loco from ALDI..and then issue the challenge to build something more interesting than a wardrobe, but using ALL the bits in the box.

The result will be the kind of thing that might get a Turner Prize for Sculpture..be utterly without practical use..do absolutely nothing for your BP..but, quite possibly be the most hilarious thing that you have done since your Stag Night..

Idea....get Dave or ideally any old mate called Nigel to accept being blindfolded and plyed with Pena Coladas ...

How he will howl with mirth , when he finds himself,..quite possibly' at sea',..on a local waterway in the most un-seaworthy of 'Wardrobe based Structures'...pardon me, but the very stuff that Emergency Services thrive on.

IAN..its just an idea........ME.. I am still high on seeing the Tour de France in Yorkshire, on Sunday, with a gang of about twenty, near Holmfirth. We had an accordion player..the Cops did do-si-doing....we were part of the most immense support group that Le Tour has ever seen. Mrs TM and I were still Karaoking at 2 am....our Wonderwall by Oasis was epic

Tattoo Man

Yorkshire is now on the Global Map for cycling...big time

Read the instructions

by KAG - 2014-07-07 10:07:28

I know it goes completely against everything most men believe in but if you do look at the instructions BEFORE assembly it's easy. LOL

Kathy

Sara

by IAN MC - 2014-07-07 11:07:08

At last some good advice ! I find that a glass of wine helps everything immensely !

Also, every self-assembly looks perfect when you're as relaxed as a newt . But , in the cold light of day don't you then realise that the piece of wood left in the box was in fact the 4th leg .. and then you're back to square one !

Cheers

Ian

No Kathy !!!

by IAN MC - 2014-07-07 11:07:15

Looking at instructions is just for wimps , it is a bit like asking for directions when you're lost !

Ian ( high BP and lost ! )

Wine helps!

by SaraTB - 2014-07-07 11:07:54

We discovered a few years ago that a glass of wine helps immensely. Let's you approach it in a more relaxed mood :)

As a survivor of many IKEA assemblies I can definitely recommend the instructions. Heck, they're little cartoons!

IAN

by jimb - 2014-07-07 12:07:51

If you dont have left over pieces you are doing it wrong! The wine or beer makes it seem more logical than it is.

Tattoo Man

by IAN MC - 2014-07-08 05:07:41

Always good to hear from you and your lateral thinking .

I was thinking, maybe Ikea should launch 3 separate ranges of their flat packs :-

i) " The Standard Range " with instruction leaflets included . This would be for ladies and men of dubious masculinity ( maybe your old mate Nigel would qualify !

ii " The Macho Range " for normal men who enjoy a challenge . No instruction leaflets and a few pieces deliberately left out

iii) " The Creative Range " . They would simply throw a few pieces into a flatpack box, e.g. the back of a wardrobe, the base from a chest of drawers, a leg from a kitchen table, the doors from a cupboard etc and then you really are in Turner Prize country ! On reflection,maybe this is what Ikea does already !!

Hope you're well !

Ian

IAN...DEAR BOY...................

by Tattoo Man - 2014-07-09 04:07:08


..............might I propose a fourth range..the kind that Don would go for,..and certainly our, much loved Frank..

Here goes.....

iv ) " The Real Mans Range"....Three 8 by 4s of 3/4 WBP plywood,...a box of 1 1/2 No 4's,...half a pint of 'hoof and lump' glue,...half a pint of Jack Daniels.

Get your mates round...Friday night..

Nuff said....

TM

.....oh, and a new 24 TPI handsaw would be a luxury.

PS Froome is out of the Tour..good reason to have your PM re-calibrated.

PS 2....any Brazilians here going through tricky, post W-Cup trauma...??

You know you're wired when...

You get your device tuned-up for hot dates.

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