++ Lets talk about anxiety ++

Here goes my story, I had a massive heart attack April 2011, Easter Sunday. Died and came back. ICU for 14 days, had pacemaker/defibrillator implanted. Went back to work June 7th. Had a great time on my 60th birthday (being alive). I don't smoke or drink. I am VERY ACTIVE!!! Driving my service truck at 55, defibrillator shocked me not once, not twice, but 11 TIMES, you read correct, 11TIMES. ER and hospital kept me overnight. Next day discharged MALFUNCTION. Problem today, 18 months later, haven't flown- taken no cruises and haven't driven. EVERY DAY and I mean EVERY DAY, I can FEEL the shocks and remember that day!!! Cardio doctors all same everything is OK and it won't happen again. Head doctor says move on from that day and think happy things. I don't sleep and every little pain or dizzyness or lightheaded feeling, chest soreness ( of course I exercise ) I remember. I miss my grandkids and daughters. They all live in different parts of the country. I live as a prisoner in my own world because of this damn ICD So lets talk about anxiety.

9 Comments

Recp,,emdatopm

by Wannabe - 2012-10-10 02:10:31

Hello Conch - so sorry to hear you're suffering from nerves and anxiety. It's not in any way surprising, is it? After all you've gone through you need a hand to hold to reassure you. Please let me recommend a book which is a huge help in these circumstances. Its title is -

Self Help For Your Nerves

It's written by Dr Claire Weekes who is no longer with us but her books are still available from Amazon and from Abebooks. She will help you, I promise. Meanwhile, take care of yourself and do let's know how you get along. Heaps of good wishes. Sheila

Seeking help

by cohara - 2012-10-10 03:10:34

Your heart let you down and then the device that is supposed to keep you upright and breathing went out of control. I'd say that your feelings of anxiety are understandable. You were betrayed twice, once by your heart and once by your ICD. Sometimes when something this traumatic happens a person needs help coping. If you have insurance that covers counseling, you might want to consider talking to someone who can help you get past your emotions and put everything in perspective. A little professional assistance can go a long way sometimes. If you don't have insurance and can't afford to pay full cost for counseling, look around and see what is available in your community. You might be surprised at what support you can find.

It has been a year and a half since the ICD malfunctioned, and it seems to have behaved itself since then. It would be a shame to limit your life forever for one moment in time that has never been repeated. The time and effort you put into getting help with dealing with these emotions will pay off in huge dividends. You deserve the happiness and freedom that will come when you put these demons aside. Please consider getting some help from someone trained to support you to help you get out of prison.

I wish freedom for you soon,
Carol

Anxiety

by Good Hearted Mary - 2012-10-10 03:10:50

I am so sorry that you are having such anxiety! What an awful place to be and because of it you are afraid to travel or drive to see your daughters and grandkids. Fear can really hold us back. I am deathly afraid of flying and therefore never travel anywhere but fortunately my daughter and 2 grandsons only live 40 miles away and I can drive to them. But living in Alaska in the winter can be so cold and a lot of people go somewhere warm during the winter months. There is a reason you are alive and made it through this trauma and maybe it is so you can help others to get through similar experiences. Here's a great quote for you to ponder on: "Anxiety is the space between the "now" and the "then." by Richard Abell. And "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths." by Charles Spurgeon. I wish you the very best wishes to get back into the business of living. Kindly,

Anxious

by Zia - 2012-10-10 07:10:14

The word has two very different meanings, anxious from fear and anxious for what exciting thing comes next. If you're still here it's because there's something you still need to do or somebody you still need to help out. So look around and see what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.

This may sound harsh, but your life is your own to do with what you need or want to do. Hiding in a hole won't help.

Help clear up shocks.

by conchfm - 2012-10-10 12:10:15

I might have explained it a little wrong in my writing, its not that I feel shocks everyday, its that my mind can remember the feelings of the 11 shocks that day. Thanks Sue for your comments.

Your choice

by Sue H. - 2012-10-10 12:10:33

I'm so sorry to hear of your anxiety but you have to fight it.

You are alive and that's the important part. You are a survivor and thanks to your ICD you are alive. Think of those shocks as your guardian angels helping your heart.

You live as a prisoner in your own world but you don't have to. You are creating that by letting your thoughts take over.

If your doctors have checked everything out and tell you, you are ok, try to believe them. I know that can be hard but just try.

Delete all your negative thoughts and get on with your living....take little steps every day and before you know it, you'll be enjoying life again.

Best to you and maybe this post sounds to strong for you but I feel we can decide every morning when we get up whether it's going to be a good day or bad day. It's all in your control.

Best to you and hope you feel better.......remember baby steps.....day by day.....

Sue




anxiety

by Laben - 2012-10-10 12:10:44

I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with the anxiety. I have experienced several episodes with multiple shocks and had the same flashbacks as you describe but my fears fade away after about two and a half months. I hope yours will too. .....Laben

Conch from Davie...

by donr - 2012-10-11 09:10:22

...You have the WRONG shrink!!!

I will write you a Pvt Msg w/ some advice that will burn the paper that it's written on, but should be helpful.

Everything that has been written above is correct.

You are what I once heard being called a "Cardiac Cripple." You do not want to be one of those.

See you in the PM section in a few minutes.

Don

real fear

by Hope - 2012-10-11 11:10:42

Hi! Please don't let anyone make light of your fear. It is real based on a traumatic experience. However, the actual event is OVER. You are ALIVE, but NOT LIVING. You have acknowledged your fear, and that is the first step to defeating it. Now, you must go to battle with that powerful emotion. Fear is not what is, but what keeps us from what is. What are your dreams? Do remember? I bet your dreams are much more than being stuck in a terrible past moment in time. Please don't give up the rest of your life to fear. Go for YOU, a LIVING YOU!Hopeful Heart

You know you're wired when...

You get your device tuned-up for hot dates.

Member Quotes

I wouldn't be here if it were not for this amazing technology inside of me.