Help me with my anxiety

Ok, Ashley got her pacemaker the day after Christmas. I am still freaking out on a daily basis, hourly basis even about her passing out. I am so scared it is going to happen again. I am afraid it is going to affect my work if I don't stop worring about it 24/7. I feel anxious to spend every minute with her afraid it might be the last one. Has anyone else gone through this when their kids first got their pacemakers or do I need to go get help with this?

3 Comments

NEW PACEMAKER

by peter - 2009-01-10 03:01:09

Your daughter is really lucky to be given a really advanced pacemaker like the ADDR01. I do not think you need to worry as much as you did in the past. The pacemaker might need a bit of adjustment by the technicians to optomise its performance over the next few months but this is not anything to worry about. I have noted that a number of mothers on this site are much more affected mentally by the change of circumstances than their children who receive the pacemakers. Its only to be expected and a natural reaction. Your daughter will soon get used to her little helper and will carry on as if nothing as happened. Pacemakers today are much more reliable and effective than they used to be and the technology is advancing all the time. There is no reason why your daughter will not lead a normal life. I fully understand what a shock to you mentally this has been. You will get over it. I suggest you discuss the situation with your employer and take a week or twos holiday with your daughter but remaining within reach of the hospital. There are often lots of nice things you can do locally without travelling. Spending a bit of time planning all this would help you to realise that you can look forward . Best wishes to your daughter . Cheers Peter

support group?

by Tracey_E - 2009-01-10 07:01:55

What you're going through is perfectly normal but if it's affecting your work or your daughter, or the anxiety is getting worse rather than better in the weeks since, I think you probably should get some help. If she had her surgery at a large hospital, they may have some sort of group for parents. There is a yahoo group for parents of children with pm's. I don't remember the address but it's something like heartblockkids, the owner of the list pops in here occasionally. It might help you to talk to other parents, to see kids that are just fine and how the parents cope.

There are also a few kids (uvagershwin is 14 and had a pm since birth) who post here, perhaps chatting with them will put you more at ease that she will still be a normal, healthy kid. She will! I was one of those kids also. I'm 42 now, completely dependent on a pm for the last 15 yrs. I have a ten year old of my own and I lead an active healthy life.

Has she passed out since she got her pm? Her heart will NOT stop now, she has an incredibly efficient and dependable state of the art computer ensuring she does not miss a beat. Know that you can trust it. The rational facts probably don't outweigh the sheer emotion you're feeling. She's your child and you have every right to be worried about her but remember that kids are smart and intuitive, your worrying will affect her- how quickly she recovers and how she feels about her condition, her self esteem. If she sees you strong, she will know that everything is ok and she'll be strong. Kids are resilient, and this is likely a lot harder on you than it is on her, but she will take her cues from you. If you are hovering and terrified, she will know, so it's important to get it under control. You can't make the worry go away, but perhaps finding a support group will help you learn to control it so you can put on a strong face for her until you've better learned to cope and the strong face isn't just a facade anymore.

New Life

by junyerbear - 2009-01-12 11:01:53

I'm a person who has had a pacemaker since I was 13 years old. My mother drove me nuts the first two years of having a pacemaker. I know Mom & Dad were and still are very worried about me. Even at the age of 40, if I don't call Mom at least once a week, she will call until she knows I am ok. Anyway, I agree with the other coments made to you. As time past, my parents finally relaxed and let me be a kid. In time, you will do the same.
Keep in mind that to a child, there is a fine line between protecting and over protecting. If you smother your daughter too much, she will start to push you away. Like I said before, my parents let me be a kid. I ran & played in sports like any other child does. But, be sure you consult with her cardiologist about her activities. She is going to discover some of the activities she likes will be easier with her new found strength.
I wish you the best of luck. Charles.

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