Am I in Denial?

I hope I can spill my guts here without getting flamed! I received my icd/bi-vent PM 5 weeks ago, completely out of the blue. It hit me like a ton of bricks cuz I had never had much in the way of symptoms prior. However, knowing what I do now, I need to make major changes in my diet, commit to regular exercise and the biggie - quit smoking. I can't get my brain wrapped around the idea that life as I've known it must change. I feel great but know that changing my bad habits will not only make me feel even better, it could very well prolong my life. Why isn't this new development enough to kickme in the butt and take charge? I don't think I have a death wish as I have so much to live for - great husband, neat kids, terrific grandsons, good job - just a very satisfing life. Did anyone else have trouble accepting and changing and if so, what did it for you? I feel like I've been given a gift. That said, why am I resisting all that I know damn well is good for me? Flame away... (I need it)

Gonnie

6 Comments

Am I in Denial?

by PPP - 2008-08-27 10:08:43

You have been given a gift. The problems is what to do with it. AND how to live with the details of the device and the health care and how to deal with fitting the changes into your life. That is the problem. I get it...nice to find this site, because I felt like I was by myself!
PPP

Maybe, but....

by TKS - 2008-08-27 10:08:59

Gonnie,

I too had a bad lifestyle...ate bad foods, not enough exercise, smoked, drank caffine....LOL

When I got my PM it took time but I made some changes. I changed my diet and lost 20 pounds, I started to exercise, I quit drinking caffine but....I can't quit smoking! Do I have a death wish...NO! But quitting smoking is one of the hardest things to do. I keep trying, I even took Chantix (that was scary!) and I listen to the lectures from my kids and my hubby (who also smokes). Has any of it worked? Not yet, but I'm hoping some day it will.

Change is hard plain and simple. Nicotine is something that is horribly hard to give up. It is so addictive both physically and mentally. I panic when I think about quitting, even though I know it's the best thing for me.

Keep trying and you know you can always come to the gang for support! Good luck!

Theresa (TKS)

You can do it!!!

by bowlrbob - 2008-08-28 07:08:04

You are right quiting smoking is a very hard habit to break. You will only be able to break it if you truly want to. No one can tell you to stop and no one can make you stop unless you want to stop. Cutting down helps but doesn't break the habit. You are the only one who has the power to quit for good. I quit 50 times before I finally had had enough. The other times I just quit buying and was borrowing.
I know this because I quit cold turkey. I just decided i did not want to be a slave to that nasty habit anymore not to mention it is expensive. Especially today. I quit 34 years ago. I quit because my first child was born and I did not want him exposed to second hand smoke. A side benefit of this action was that none of my 3 kids have ever smoked. This was a great gift to them.
PS. Quiting was not easy I had to take it one day at a time for at least the first year. I still had occasional cravings up to about 3 years then it just faded from thought. Bowlrbob

Whew!

by Gonnie - 2008-08-28 09:08:15

Thanks for all the replies! I hated coming on here & admitting to my bad habits but I should've known that I could find an understanding bunch of people who've been there & done that. My husband told me tonite that he's going to get the heart healthy cookbook that I was given at the hospital & try a few things out so that's a start. Baby steps! Thanks for all the encouragement!

Gonnie

Your not alone

by debbie54 - 2008-08-28 12:08:03

Gonnie

I got my PM Jun 27 08. Like you totally unexpected. I still haven't wrapped my head around it. However I also know that alot has to change. As you I smoke, drink caffine and exercise, whats that. How I've been handling this is start with the easy stuff. I turned to decaf tea and coffee, started exercising by walking on the treadmill (I live in AZ, very hot) that was 2wks ago, yesterday I started to run. Walk 2min run 2min keep going for 30 min. Start slow. Now the smoking. I'm staying with my son for awhile and he doesn't smoke. This is good cuz i can't smoke in his house. At home I smoke at least 1pk a day, here because i have to go outside, i smoke about 1pk in 2 to 2 1/2 days. Smoking is the hardest. I refuse to beat myself up over this. I'm 54 and been smoking since i was 11. Its not going away over night. I figure if i keep cutting down eventually it will stop. i just can't make so many changes all at once, so if you come up with a better plan please, please let me know. Thanks, Debbie

Don't know what to say

by dwkent - 2008-09-02 11:09:23

I was just told that I have to have a PM asap. My pulse was as low as 26bpm while asleep. I smoke, drink coffee/alcohol, don't exercise enough, overweight. I hope I find this forum helpful. So far the comments haven't really surprised me as most of it is common sense.
Thanks

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