Not coping

Hi two messages on the trot. I am sitting here at the computer in floods of tears wondering why on earth I went ahead with this PM. Why didn't I stay in England and try the drug therapy first. Out of the blue in France I am not given the choice.

Don't know what I am expecting anyone to give as an answer. I know that I feel a sensation in my stomach like a heart beat - not sure whether it is a missed beat or my stomach in knots.

Help! any answers


5 Comments

Heckboy

by Jules - 2008-02-15 01:02:30

Can I borrow you for a time. You can make me feel gd in just reading a note.

I am going back to England on the 29th Feb to visit the family so hopefully lots of time for meals out. I am also going to see someone who can explain everything to me in English, and I will ask about counselling when I am there.

Cheers.

Counseling?

by heckboy - 2008-02-15 01:02:48

Hi Jules,

Have you considered going to counseling? I hear the worry in your posts and I'm confident that a good counseling could help you find ways to deal with your PM. My daughter had unfounded worries when she was a kid, and the therapist gave her exercises to help overcome them. There's worry and then there's worry out of proportion to the actual risk.

You say that you wish that you tried drug therapy first... was this an alternative for your condition that you didn't know about, or just a wish? This is just me, but I think once you get over the hump that you have a PM, they little inconveniences that come with it will go away.

I like what DD says above... instead of getting worried when your feel your HB, you should feel good that your PM is working. Those extra beats are pumping more blood to your body so that it can work better.

That I can run again and climb stairs more than outweighs the inconvenience of having to protect my PM site from injury or the mild pinch I get when try to scrub my right shoulder... these things are nothing compared to the benefits.

You can't assume that everything you feel is a product of your PM either. My advice is to get out to lunch or dinner with friends several times a week. It'll take your mind off of your PM and I understand that dining out or getting together with friends if the best stress reliever out there. Relaxing in front of the TV doesn't make us feel as good as connecting with other people.

Your only 5 weeks out from you PM... cut yourself some slack and have some fun.



Give this a try.

by bowlrbob - 2008-02-16 01:02:02

I had the same reaction to getting my pacer. Mine had to be done on an emergency basis. After it was done i could only think why me. I want to go back to the way i was. I don't like being run by a machine. Any other thing I could think of. Of course none of these things are going to happen. I have a pacer and i am stuck with it. So I was talking about this with my Doctor and this is how he put it. He said you are lucky. I said how i don't feel lucky. He said most people in the world are totally on their own as far as keeping the heart beating. Think of yourself like a trapeze artist doing amazing tricks but doing it with a net. You would have no worries because you won't get hurt if you fall. You have a safety net if your heart tries to stop your pacer is like that net. So you don't get hurt. Anyone else would be in trouble. Your pacer is a back-up system. Now you don't have to worry. I hope this helps. It has helped me i just don't worry about it anymore. I just go on with life and look ahead. Bowlrbob

Love your PM

by auntiesamm - 2008-02-16 04:02:10

Hi Jules, I agree with DD that adjusting to a PM is as much psychological as physical. My PM was implanted May 2006. I had been having little "blips" but had no idea what they were and brushed it off as a mere inconvenience. LIttle did I know that I was in 3rd degree heart block! Sent to ER, then ICU. I knew even before the cardiologist told me, that I would need a pacemaker. I welcomed the PM knowing that not having it I was putting my life in jeopardy. Had the PM implanted and suddenly felt better than I had in months. Went home the next day. Following day my husband and I went to a social gathering, the next day I drove myself to church. When I consider the alternatives to the PM I am so grateful for it and know I am one of the "lucky" ones.. Seldom am I aware of any beats - extra or otherwise - but I just say "thank you Lord for this terrific device that keeps me pacing". I am so grateful that science and medicine have these little computerized gems available to implant in us. I'm paced 100% in the ventricle and 54% in the atrium. I seldom think about the PM as it is simply a part of me. My adult grandsons love to tease me about being "computer operated" and use computer terms to address me at times. It is really quite fun. I also have had both knees replaced so they consider me bionic as well. What a blessing that there are all these various parts to put us back together when our own body falters. Love your pacemaker! God bless you and your wonderful pacemaker.

Sharon

dont cry!

by cutsiepooh01 - 2008-02-19 06:02:54

Hi Jules! I just came across your posting and i think you made a good choice with the pm. I have had a pm since i was 5 yrs old and Im 25 now. i agree with Bowlrbob comment. eventho i know its hard to cope but just try to look at the bright side of things and look forward and be thankful. i sometimes still have times when i cant cope with the fact of having a pm but at the same time im very thankful.
I hope your feeling better.........

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As for my pacemaker (almost 7 years old) I like to think of it in the terms of the old Timex commercial - takes a licking and keeps on ticking.