11 Days!!

Wow its so hard to believe I have a pm and I have had it for 11 days!! I wanna start off by sayin' I do feel better!! I dont know how much yet, but it is better. Im still super sore (i dunno if thats normal) just assumed it was fine due to all the pulling my site puts up with!! hehe Im getting out of the house a lil more now and it feels good! I just think maybe I have been over doing it these last two days. Wednesday I felt real good so then I started to do more and im kinda back where I was b4 wednesday!! But im not givin' up!! I know it will take time! Healing takes time! Well to tell you the truth! I may just be saying that! Dang it I try to lie to myself! lol Here comes the truth!!!!!!!!!!

Tonite I went out with one of my best friends for her b~day. Im not really close friends with her friends so they dont really know mush about my health!. My scar isnt bad @ all. Im actually happy with it. Well that is b4 they all started asking what had happend! It hurt so much and I dont know why! I just didnt feel normal!! But what is normal? I was very unsure if I should tell them or not. So I was finally was like what the hell after the 6th person and figured I should be proud of myself and who God made me! But im still not Totally okay w/ it!! I wanna be because I know I cant change it! I just need help getting over this hump! Please help! B4 I got my pm I didnt think it would be hard for me to tell people I have a pm I just worried about the scar and now I just find it hard to share with people and they ask!! Thanks so much for all your help!

8 Comments

Be proud!

by ela-girl - 2008-01-19 01:01:42

Hiya, Rach.

I REALLY like what Bob said. He said it all--especially that it took time to get sick and it takes time to heal. As far as my pm...I don't care who knows. I'm not embarassed at all because it makes me more unique and I have quite the story to tell! In fact, I just saw my EP this past Wednesday, and he always checks my scar before I leave. He said (as he always does), "You wanna know a way to make that scar even lighter?" I told him no because I wasn't that vain and I really don't care and I already know what he'll say because he's said it before. It's my battle scar! At this point, he always pats me on the shoulder with a smirk on his face and says to me like I'm a guy, "So, it's your red badge of courage!" I just laugh.

Having a pm doesn't change who you are...it just allows you to be who you are again!

Much Love!
ela-girl

This isn't....

by GN - 2008-01-19 05:01:27

....the Rach I know! We've shared this journey together and I'm proud of you for such bravery, it's not easy being so young and having a lot of non self inflicted weight hanging over your shoulders and I must say you've dealt with it amazingly. Time is a natural healer so just chill and go with the flow, it'll soon become a part of your personality and your friends will turn to another novelty to speak about. You'll be fine, I know you will - Take it easy.
Gary

Thanks!!

by rdelvis07 - 2008-01-19 06:01:57

Thank you all so much! You have all been there for me this whole time! Im going to make it thats for sure?!? But thanks so much! Im growing! yay

Well Just Look at you!

by pacergirl - 2008-01-19 08:01:52


You are now a star! You have some of the latest and greatest computer systems located next to your heart! Now that is cool. It does effect your life though...

After I got my PM each time my co-workers/friends heard a siren they would call out "Are you okay Susie?" We had a lot of laughs about that. Sometimes I would beat them to it and yell out "I'm okay, no worries!" We made it into a game and it became fun.

Wishing you a quick recovery,
pacergirl

It's because it's still so new...

by bambi - 2008-01-19 09:01:15

that you are so aware of every aspect of having a pacemaker. Pretty soon the novelty to your friends will wear off, and you and they will not dwell on it. I truly don't believe your friends are being hurtful, they are probably just curious! You don't have to answer their questions with great detail. Just give a quick comment and move on to something else. Having a pacemaker will pretty soon become as differentiating as wearing glasses or braces. I'm glad you have healed so well! Best wishes.
Bambi

glad you are doing great

by pat - 2008-01-19 10:01:47

i don't post a lot in here, but i had to post this. i know how hard it is for each of us to accept our pm's, but it is really a lot harder for those who work with us, especially if we had to be hauled out of work (like i did in an ambulance) but just to lighten the mood a bit, when i first went back to work, it was "you ok, you feel ok if i just looked at something funny. but last week i knew my boss finally accepted the fact. he brought an extension cord up to my register and said "plug er in for me will ya?" we both laughed so hard we cried.

just wanted to share this with you to say that it does get easier.

pat

You are special

by bowlrbob - 2008-01-19 12:01:31

Rach, I sort of felt weird when people asked about my pacer. Now i tell them i am special. I have a safety net. Because of my pm my heart can't just stop. That is better than most of the population. We have truly received a special gift. Plus we get to feeling normal again. I know i do and you will too. Just give it time. It is easy to over do so watch that. You will learn your limitations. FYI, after the EP got my settings right for me this sometimes takes a few months. Really feeling great took another 6 months to a year. Now everything is great. It took time to get sick and like me you were probably sick for awhile. It takes time to heal and get stamina back but you will. Glad you are feeling better. Bowlrbob

glad ur getting there

by VIOLIN - 2008-01-20 10:01:06

all i can say which may be helpful to you is that on day 18 i felt better! i am sure we are all different but i was finally able to climbstairs without being so winded. i hope for you the best.
violin

You know you're wired when...

You participate in the Pacer Olympics.

Member Quotes

I finished 29th in London in 2 hours 20 minutes 30 seconds which is my fastest with or without a device so clearly it didn’t slow me down ! I had no problems apart from some slight chaffing on my scar - more Vaseline next time.