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Definitely not a wimp

by quikjraw - 2021-04-28 04:09:33

Hi Maggiemay,

I had my Pacemaker fitted in November 2020 I was exactly the same as you, my emotions were all over the place. I think it may be the combination of the serious nature of this issue being associated with our heart and that we now have a foreign device in us.

I can tell you that this emotional feeling will get better but you do not need to force the feelings away as I think it is good to take stock of what you have been through and what you want to do moving forward.

If you can take plenty of rest and don't do what I did and spend large amounts of your day trying to understand why it has happened and how it all works. 

I found after a couple weeks taking some walks were really good at clearing my head and making me feel better. 

In terms of dos and dont's - I'm sure that others will comment but the key point is what they must have told you about the arm movement and not to extend above a certain point.

All the very best

John

No,not a wimp.

by Loretta - 2021-04-28 13:47:21

Three months in and I am still unsure at times. Its normal.

Browse the forums, they are very helpful and this site is what got me to this point. I still worry,still have pain,but I always refer to the forums for answers. 

Lots of rest , try to get out and walk ,fresh air. You will accidently move the arm in positions you are not to do ,like reaching (been there, done that) at times ,but you will be promptly reminded not to by the PM.  The pacer nurse will be come a best friend lol

Hang in there,it gets better.

Welcome

by Julros - 2021-04-28 15:49:04

You are not a wimp, you are a human being with feelings that deserved to be acknowledged. I had general anesthesia so didn't feel a thing, and was sort of on a little high about saying good-bye to a heart rate of 40. But I seemed to experience more recovery pain than many here have reported, and it seemed my care team just brushed it off. But, I did heal, and one of the pacemaker nurses in the clinic treats me like a person which is huge. 

Things will get better! 

Coping

by Maggiemay - 2021-04-28 19:52:30

Thank you all  for your replies and   your support ,

I have a telephone consultation tomorrow 

( no face to face appointments at present ) there must be lots of questions I should be asking the  Consultant  but at the moment I'm just not sure what I should or should not be feeling . Just know how unbelievably sore and painful I feel . I know this will improve , but it does cloud thoughts .

Maggie 

mental is half of it

by dwelch - 2021-04-29 01:00:58

There is the physical and the mental.  The physical passes relatively quickly weeks to months for day to day activites to return to normal.  The mental, esp for pacer number one, that can take longer. 

We are each different so how we cope, etc, what causes reasons to cope are likewise different.  

I have had pacers for 34 years. On number 5.  It literally is like a belly button or a toe, you know you have it but you just dont think about it unless you bump it on something and then that passes quickly.  

I have heart block, had a big heart and low rate, could hear and feel every single beat it was just normal to me.  That stopped immediately with the pacer, I was empty inside, no beats, silence.   It took me a good part of that year to get used to.  And they bumped my rate up well above what my normal rates were (30s and 40s up to 60 as alower limit), so learning to sleep again, etc were part of the adventure.

Pacer number five is my first three lead which puts that lead near the body cavity.  And I sometimes get belly bumps, the pacer firing the heart (complete heart block so the lower chambers are at 100%) will also fire the tummy muscles on that side.  I find it amusing...I wish I could make it happen on demand, would be a nice party trick...All part of the fun.

Even after 30 years, there is that strange heart beat that makes you pause for a minute and be quiet and see if it happens again.  Is something wrong....nope, its fine, and go on with your day...

As far as the physical, there is your doc and this site, you have found the right place...And i guess even on that note, most folks are asking other questions.  We have all managed to cope with the life change.  You will get past this and it will just be like one of the middle toes, something you know you have, but dont really spend time thnking about...

I was awake for two and not awake for the other three BTW...

Similar experience

by KatieG - 2021-05-02 06:44:28

Hi Maggiemay! I also had my first PM fitted two weeks ago. It was not something I envisaged happening, but discovering I had a heart block and a heart rate below 50 (at times 35) explained why I'd been feeling rubbish for some time! I also had a bad time during the procedure - it took them 2 hours, the sedative and local anaesthetic didn't do much to dull the pain so I felt as if I was being tortured...I usually have a high pain threshold so to find myself sobbing in pain wasn't pleasant! The medical staff were brilliant though, especially my lovely nurse who reassured me the whole time. It's quite a big deal, having a pacemaker fitted! Especially if you've not had much time to take on board the implications of it all. It was only afterwards, recovering on the ward and then my first few days at home, that I realised how dangerously unwell I had been and how the procedure and device were potentially life-saving. My emotions were also all over the place. I was euphoric at no longer feeling like my heart was jumping around, and at having more energy; I was appreciative of all the little things that we take for granted; I was ravenously hungry - perhaps because I was operating at full capacity for once? Lol. But I was also a bit overwhelmed at the thought of having this foreign object keeping me alive and that I would always need it. And that my family and friends had been very concerned for me, and thinking of all the 'what ifs'...and the sheer discomfort after the procedure, all the bruising and pain and worrying that i might dislodge the leads. 

But... 2 weeks on, and things are settling down. Most of the bruising has gone, my stitches have dissolved and I'm enjoying going for walks with my husband and our dog. I'm potttering about the house and I know I'm feeling better because I'm itching to do the ironing, hoovering etc! But hubby is doing those for now...My emotions have stabilised although sometimes I'm like "wow, I have a pacemaker!" I'm loving being able to walk up an incline or steps without having to stop because I'm dizzy or breathless. I'm looking forward to getting back to doing music with hubby (we're a Scottish folk duo) and not have to limit how long I sing or play clarinet because I think I'm going to keel over! 

So no, you're not a wimp. You're a human being who's experiencing something fairly traumatic. Be kind to yourself and take time to heal. Do things that help to relax you. I enjoy colouring books and online jigsaws, reading and listening to music. In time you'll be able to do more and it won't feel like every time you move, the PM slides around inside your chest! Take care, and thanks for sharing your story xx

Not a wimp

by htriggs - 2021-05-12 09:56:28

Hello!

I, too, received a device recently, right at a month ago.  I have been emotionally all over the place - running from thank goodness this is helping me, to wanting it out because in some ways it's not doing at all what I thought it might, to being weirded out that I feel like I am now battery operated, to just crying for no reason...so I hear you, and I just want to affirm that others feel similarly!  The fact is, we have something we weren't born with implanted in our chests, keeping our central organ working more correctly.  I suppose (and I'm saying this to myself as well) it's okay to feel strange!  Hope the days get better for you.

Heather