Feeling surprisingly sad about all of this
I'm in my early 30s and have been having vasovagal syncope with no trigger for the last 6 years or so, haven't been driving for about 4. For years I was told to just drink more water, eat more salt, that kind of thing (nothing workerd). However, this summer I got a loop recorder which showed that during my symptoms, I would have pauses of around 6-8 seconds. From the timing of when they happen vs my symptoms, they think that this is predominantly cardiac and not just BP (we also tried fludrocortisone for a few months, which I'm still on but hasn't seemed to change symptoms). These pauses are also happening when I sleep. I found out a week ago that I need to get a pacemaker.
Some of this is a relief- I have been having scary episodes for a long time and am glad that I'm being taken seriously. But I'm feeling surprisingly down about this. There's no guarantee that this will actually work and relieve my symptoms, thanks to the BP aspect of vasovagal syncope, so although I hope I can drive again it's just another gamble. I'm worried about missing work.I hate telling everybody about this and having to explain it over and over. I'm getting married soon and although it's so superficial I'm worried about having a fresh scar. I think I did a bit too good a job of reassuring my family because nobody seems worried at all. I'm also feeling frustrated at the cardiologists that I've had in the past that were so reluctant to do anything because of my age- fortunately my current EP is really great and I feel in good hands. This is not my first chronic health issue, and I can't help but feel shitty that it seems like my body is failing me again.
I feel like logically I know that this is totally fine and overall a good thing, and won't drastically change my life etc. but emotionally I'm feeling awful. Did anybody who felt this way find that they felt better once the pacemaker was actually in? Any tips on trying to keep this in perspective? (PS: I'm reaching out to my therapist to try to get some help there, but just felt like maybe there was some experience here that could be helpful).