Daily Struggle

Mortality

by Rivithead - 2018-12-22 15:46:31

Yah, the depression side of it all.  Knowing one is on the final approach is a bitch.  As for me, I say my prayers ever night and thank God every morning and try to stuff my day with things of beauty.

Mortality. What does a pacemaker to do with it?

by Gotrhythm - 2018-12-23 15:45:08

Here's the deal: everyone is mortal. Everyone, if they live long enough, will die. The only difference between you and everyone else is that you know it.

Knowledge is power. Saints and mystics of all religions have urged their followers to meditate on their mortality and seek the wisdom that comes from the knowledge that life is finite. 

You know your life depends on a pacemaker. Other people's lives are just as fragile. They just don't know it. Since I got my pacemaker 7, no 8, years ago, I've lost count of the number of funerals I've attended--some of people older than me, some, younger, but only one of those people who died had a pacemaker. Indeed, the overwhelming majority of people who die, do not have pacemakers!

So  give thanks that you do know you are mortal. Remeber that and determine not to waste a moment of whatever time you have hating, or regretting, or cowering in fear. Rejoice. Fill every moment you can with joy, laughter, good friends, kind deeds and rewarding work.

But do not think for one moment that having a pacemaker has anything to do with whether you will die. 

my ICD helps me

by Uelrindru - 2018-12-23 16:10:18

I have always been one to focus on the good. I had a heart attack, a vfib after that, which I got shocked for, and in went the device. I watched my mother go through heart failure, a stroke and get an icd installed. I know this means life, it means help, its support that I need and will allow me to lead a real life so in my mind there is only positive. recovery takes time but you'll get there and the fact that you're talking to us means its happening now.  Enjoy it and you're new lesser on life . you had a miracle happen to you enjoy the hell out of it!

Real simple

by dwelch - 2018-12-24 09:08:37

I have complete heart block from birth.  Am on my fifth pacer.  31 years into this journey.  I quite simply wouldnt be here without them.  I would not have had the opportunity to raise a child, etc. I might have made it long enough to see and experience the internet, but not long enough for a site like this to exist.

Unlike most folks here my condition was found when I was a pre-teen and my first pacer was not until I was 19, I had a number of years to mentally prepare.  I didnt know the risk I was in at that time.  I had a cousin die in a car wreck when she was 15, I was 17 at the time.  Was going off to college, had no idea how insurance worked.  Clearly no job that could pay for a pacemaker which I didnt know how much that cost.  Knew what it did to the family to lose a child, so I didnt resist in any way, doc said it was time, I said okay.  Never looked back.  Happy to be here.  

Heart block is the easy one for a pacer.  The pacer simply synchronizes the upper and lower chambers, so if the lower is 100% paced, that is fine.  What you would worry about is if the lower is not being paced, 0%, that means you didnt need the thing.  Somewhere between 0 and 100 is success...

From your profile you are still a youngun, Im just a few years older.  There are a lot of folks here that need your help.  They need you to find your way through this, stick around and help them with their struggles.  They need you, we need you.

I am very happy to see that you searched for doctors rather than stick with one you didnt like, that takes strength, a lot of folks dont have that strength and stick with a crappy doctor...You do...use that same strength to get back on that horse, sit tall and ride into tomorrow.  

At the end of the day you will forget you have this thing, most folks go to the dentist more than their cardiologist/EP.  Its just another appointment. no big deal, in and out.  You can now worry less than the folks around you that dont have a pacer or have never been to a cardiologist for a checkup.  Your now have one less thing to worry about in your life.  This is not a curse nor hinderance this is an asset.

It changes from day to day

by the beatnik - 2019-01-02 16:53:26

I started feeling my symptoms; shortness of breath and light-headedness, about four months before getting my pacemaker.  I didn't ignore the diagnosis, but just chalked it up to my asthma flaring up.  It wasn't until I fainted at home that my wife insisted on going to the immediate care and numerous tests. When I desperately failed my stress test (after three minutes on the treadmill) did a pacemaker enter my world.  Since my implantation in November things have gotten much better, generally. I can walk up stairs without issue again and walk the dogs, which they enjoy.  But still, everytime there's a twinge or ache around the site I begin to worry. About what I don't know, but it's still there. I've been keeping track of any symptoms for my next visit in about a week. I know this thing has improved my life and I know I should have faced it sooner.  But moments of weakness can cast a shadow. I need to work harder at that. Just an FYI, I'm 64 years old and was admittedly frightened about the procedure. But truthfully, I'm glad it's there.