Whole lot of questions

Hello all, 

Concerned about a few things. First of all, throwing so many questions into one post. (Just didn't want to post multiple messages in one go)

So backstory, I had an incident one night where I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I have a high blood pressure, decided to stop taking my meds on my own.
(Yeah, I know. Smart call.) 
So after this incident, I couldn't sleep without being aware of my heart beating. Went to a doctor and they ran tests. Sent me home with a holter device. They found my heart pauses a few seconds in my sleep. They kept me over night one night on my meds, one night off my meds. Sent me home saying there was less pauses off my meds, with a holter device again. Telling me if there was less pauses I'd be off those meds (beta-blocker) and it'd end there.
Lol, seeing that I'm a member here now, people obviously know where my story went. 

I had a pacemaker installed on my left side. After that, I was sensitive to sound, a bit depressed and not healing properly. 6 months later. I'm not healing quick enough for my doctor, the wound is still bleeding at times and I'm stressing what's next for me. I've had surgeries before, I have a metal rod in my back. That gave me less psychological scares than this silver dollar sized thing in my chest.
Doctor decides to run some antibiotics through my system.
(I was infected with some kind of flu off these meds, kinda ironic. I pointed out to my doctor, but he doesn't do much laughing from what I've seen with him so far.)
While on these meds a few other doctors are checking on me as well. Eventually telling me they don't think I need a pacemaker, so a clash of egos, me getting false hope. My actual doctor insists after my pacemaker is removed they install another. On a different side of my chest. This time it's a success.

It's the healing and moving on that has got me stumped.

Every day I feel it going off at a certain time at night / day. Doctor thinks it's all in my head. Talked with my nurse who runs the interrogations and since I have this thing down to a time. I brought that up, and she tells me it runs a self check at this time. That it wasn't some moment it needed to pace.
(Still it does most the pacing when I sleep.)
It used to be in the morning, but when I took on a part time job it seemed to be delayed due to activity. Then it bounced around certains hours at nights.
(Currently, I feel it at 1:48 for less than 5 seconds, then the actual test happens 2:38 - 2:39 am. It feels like 45 seconds.)

My question about this is, does anyone else feel their pacer go off like this, and do you ever get used to it?

Next concern, I feel a lump or like air is caught in my throat and chest during humid days. I'm not saying I become short of breath, it's just I notice my breathing becomes different and I normally take a deep breath to test whether or not this is about to be painful or not.
So far, it happens when I'm sick a lot. Or it's been happening this week. I'm also taking a hit from some seasonal allergies. At this point, I cannot tell if I'm catching a bug or allergies are going full blown boxer mode on my body.

So my question here is, does allergies or a virus affect any of your devices?

I have like three more questions, I appreciate those who held on through all of this. I still get pains near the old insertion site, which is healed up and a scar now.
It's been two years now, is this just scar tissue pain? My physician explained it could be nerve damage, or that how slowly scar tissue heals.

I can't exercise much either, between the surgeries, limited activity while healing and the feeling depressed bit. I had a phase where I started to eat my feelings, and gained some weight.
I have these moments where I do try to exercise and hopefully shed some weight but for example after I do a certain amount of push ups. I get a stinging pain where it feels like the first device used to be. Yet nothing where the new device is. Again, physician thinks it could be scar tissue related. The doctor who did this surgery? He has no feedback for me on this.

So, has anyone recovering from a surgery like this had issues working out again, once the doctor gave them the go ahead to resume normal activity without fear of dislodging anything?

Lastly, I still have issues where laying down or getting to sleep is a challenge. I feel my heartbeat or pulse through out my body. I'm aware of it, I can distract myself by listening to music with headphones, or playing a game / browsing the net on a device. I stop either of those, back to noticing the pulse. I try to take solace in the fact that if I feel it, I know it's working. But with my distractions, that stuff doesn't help when you're trying to sleep.

It's kind of jarring to say it's been two years since the surgery and I am not healed mentally, and what feels like barely for the physically part of healing. 

Every unexplained pace I fear is a bad sign, I've lost sleep because of awareness of my heart beat, pains. I limit my activity if I wake up and feel pain.

I'm not saying I regret my choice here, but for something that I thought would fix things. I don't feel much better right now.
I mean sure, my heart is not pausing in my sleep. But I didn't know about that and suffered no side effects from that before this adventure began. 
I know the big positive is I'm still here, but when I have a new pain or scare every other week. It's taking a toll on me. 

My doctor has suggested therapy, but the idea of sitting in a room talking to someone. I just don't know. Here feels different, you guys know first hand what I may be going through. Or have relatable stories.

I want to thank anyone for commenting and especially for reading start to finish on this. Hopefully it made sense. I don't know how this works yet, but if I need to clear anything up. I will, if possible.

4 Comments

Keep at it

by Suz2015 - 2016-08-05 10:45:07

Hey,

we all have had some bad times. Maybe if you tried a less stressful excersize, it will be easier to start.

I go to Tai Chi for senoirs, while I am a little older , it doesn't reallt matter as it is still exersize.

It took me awhile to get past most of my depression, but the exersize and company of others has helped me alot.

I realise this does not do much for answering your questions, ( I have had very little bad reactions)but it nevers hurts to send a good feeling message. 

Hope you feel better soon, try something new.

Suz

 

Fell for you

by Jane S - 2016-08-05 18:22:57

I can really sympathise with you, I.m 18months post PM and had problems and still "getting there"

However there are things you can do. yes I think the old wound is giving nerve pain which may settle eventually that is one problem. The others maybe due to settings of your PM -they can do a self check at a set time which some people feel, it can be changed if they need to keep it on. Any arrythmias may reqiure you to have another holter monitor or treadmill test to see what is going on, your lower setting maybe just a wee bit too high and that can be enough to make dropping off to sleep a problem. It can be lowered, so keep a consise diary and push to get thing properly looked at.

Check any antihistamine meds fot contra indications, they can make you feel spaced out.

This site is truely great for support and a right good moan

Jane x

Appreciation!

by ratdamon - 2016-08-06 00:18:37

Suz - Thank you for that suggestion, I'm happy to say I have tried less stressful exercise after getting tired of push-ups and pain. I've been trying these pilates machines, (I bought this journal and have been keeping track of my exercise, pains, and what I've been eating. Even a couple of pages for those random thoughts and rantings. I started this mid April)

I'm going to try the company of others. So far, it's just been family. I get the feeling my constant worrying is making them worry. So I've kept it to myself lately, except on bad days like this week has been.

But trying something less stressful or maybe something new. Could be what I need right now.
You're absolutely right, a feel good message is always appreciated. That and your message was plenty helpful.
I'm happy to hear you haven't had any bad reactions so far yourself. I'm sure I'll get there.

AngrySparrow - Thank you for the welcome!
About the possibility of an infection lingering. I'll ask my doctor about that next chance I get. 
About the issue when I'm trying to sleep. It does help to know others have complained about this. I have a slight idea why I can't get over this (yet) The night of the incident the awareness of my heartbeat, led to this current situation or a trip to the doctor, then surgery.
In the back of my mind I'm guessing I worry that'll happen again each time I go through this.

As for the exercise point. Couldn't agree more, in the past I thought if I went all out, I'd get more results. I eventually learned, even a little exercise can bring results. 
I like that idea, before all of this happened. I used to toss exercise into a majority of normal activities. Sometimes without even being aware of it. Now, well after the surgery and the healing. I'm still nervous of what I can and cannot do, or what little I do I pay for the next day, if I involve weights or push-ups into the mix.
I am looking into a cardiac healthy diet, so I thank you for that. I still plan to enjoy me a burger every now and then. But a change in diet, while in the past has been difficult for me to commit to. I think diet and exercise together will help me see results sooner.

Jane - I appreciate that, I really hope your problems become a thing of the past, and that we both manage to "get there" soon.
Currently this way of thinking doesn't seem to be doing me much good.

You think so? I had nerve pain on my side a while after another surgery. It comes and goes to this day, hopefully that'll happen with the current scar. The settings for the pacemaker, so far one nurse has told me since I only need to the pacing when I sleep, it's already set at the lowest setting. But probably wouldn't hurt to double check on this. The holter device scenario again? I'm hoping to avoid that, each time I had that has been a nightmare. Happy to say I am keeping track of these things though. So far, when I've asked they saw nothing out of the ordinary. My doctor's opinion on the sleep issue is that I've been through a lot lately, it just takes time to adjust. Which is kind of also why he is pushing for therapy.

Thanks for the advice on antihistamine meds, I'm already taking something that wont clash with blood pressure meds. Wouldn't hurt to double check that though as well.

I definitely agree with how helpful and supportive this place is. I checked here time to time, before the surgery and sometimes after when I googled random symptoms I was having.

Once again thank you all for the kind words and helpful advice.

AngrySparrow

by ratdamon - 2016-08-09 05:28:49

That dreaded hospital food, they wouldn't let me pass on meals while recovering at the clinic. Nothing tasted right after the surgeries during my stay. (Except sandwhiches. but they wouldn't let me keep requesting those after some time.)
So, when I was recovered enough to cook on my own, I went for the things I missed eating. That and the depressed state I was in, turned out to being a bad combination.

Your comment feels incomplete, so I'm just guessing here. But after a strict cardio friendly diet you couldn't stomach walking into a grocery store? So you must have lived off fresh veggies, nuts, fruit, and fish?

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