Suicidal

Pacemaker fitted December 2014. Still having many problems 4 months later. Technicians refuse to do any more tweaks. Given option of living with it as it is or having it off. So fed up.

16 Comments

Second Opinion

by Pacemum - 2015-04-09 01:04:04

I take it you are either under the Infirmary or at Castle Hill. Hopefully, you can get a second opinion soon. Leeds are very good.

Sometimes fixing one problem can cause other issues as your body become use to coping with the problems.

I do not have a pacemaker but my teenage daughter does. I agree with the others in that you should talk to your GP but understand how difficult getting an appointment may be. If you struggling for someone to talk to I live close by.

Sue

Thankyou Angrysparrow

by Rosiesmum - 2015-04-09 01:04:45

Already on antidepressants. Do not drink or smoke. I just feel as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel but have taken on board your advise. Hope a new doc will listen.

Thankyou Sue

by Rosiesmum - 2015-04-09 02:04:20

I am at Castle Hill. I didn't know you could go to another town. Good to know someone is nearby.

Turn Outward

by Artist - 2015-04-09 07:04:06

It can be very easy to focus on things that worry and depress us. Lets face it, everywhere you go, there you are. I find when I have too much time to internalize and sit and focus on how fast my life is going by, the lessening of my capabilities, sagging flesh, skin bruises caused in part by low dose aspirin and on and on, It helps to get out of myself and focus on something else. If we look, most of us still have so very much to be thankful for, if you just take the time to change your focus and steer your thoughts toward the people and things you love. I kick myself when I find that I am getting a case of the blues and tell myself how spoiled and self centered I am. A good walk in the sunshine, helping someone else in need, painting a picture, writing a poem and in general just expressing myself and sharing with others helps a lot. I look at the world situation for so many, the great poverty, deprivation of even the basics of life like fresh water and the utter lack of medical care for so many-- the skeleton figures of starving children etc. We really are so fortunate to have a pacemaker to struggle with the settings etc. What a privilege that is. Keep working toward wellness in body, mind and spirit. I tell myself how very spoiled I am being when I get down in the dumps. That usually means that I have too much time to sit and think about the things that bother me. I have a mentally ill younger sister (lots of problems there), my older sister is slowly dying of a terrible disease called PSP that has robbed her of her ability to talk or walk. She is trapped in her body. There is nothing wrong with her mind. My Mother is 101 soon to be 102, our house was flooded last winter and suffered extensive damage. These are things out of my control. One step at a time. I try to remember that the stars still shine, and to look up and look out. There are people that have situations that are much worse. I try to focus on the beauty that always exists in the world. Physical exercise helps too. So, I am trying to say--come on, get with it! Get another doctor and persevere. Things will get better. Its up to you to focus on the potential you have for a good life and the gift of your medical care and PM.

Push Forward

by Grateful Heart - 2015-04-09 10:04:46


Go for the 2nd opinion and speak to the new Doc. I don't have much luck with most of the techs I have seen either.

There are so many possible settings for our devices. Sometimes it can take time to get the settings just right for us. A new Doctor or tech with fresh eyes is sometimes necessary if they are not listening to you.

You are sounding better in you later posts here. Stay in touch with us here too. Many of us know what it is like to have a Doctor not listen to you. Finding a new Doctor is usually the solution. You are not alone....stay strong!

Take Sue up on her generous offer to talk with you. Knowing someone else nearby who has a pacemaker may help you too.

Grateful Heart

get help

by Tracey_E - 2015-04-09 11:04:08

If your tech is writing you off, talk to your dr. If your dr is not helping, get a new one.

If you are suicidal, not just saying it tongue in cheek (I can't tell) then get help today. Call a friend, call your GP, call your pastor, call a hotline, do SOMETHING. Depression can manifest itself in other ways and make it hard to treat other conditions.

Please get help ASAP

by mytrose43 - 2015-04-09 12:04:33

First and most important is your mental health you need to talk to someone asap,secondly you need to find a new Dr that will listen to you and work with you.I know this can very trying but trust me it will pass and work out,,

referrals

by Tracey_E - 2015-04-09 12:04:42

It might be worth it to pay out of pocket to get another opinion. It's a small price to pay if you end up feeling better.

Thank you

by Rosiesmum - 2015-04-09 12:04:43

I am trying to get seen by a new cardiologist, but in England it all takes time.

Just feel ill

by Rosiesmum - 2015-04-09 12:04:54

Just feel so rubbish with headaches and thumps and pal patios in the chest. My primary care doctor has tried and A and E doctors have tried but technicians just say every ok their end and it must be something else doing it. Am now going to pay to see another cardiologist. Thankyou all wh have commented. Have been reading posts for a while and have only just joined.

yes, get help

by doublehorn48 - 2015-04-09 12:04:54

TraceyE is spot on! Good cardiologists don't cost any more than the run of the mill, and there is no comparison in the quality of treatment.

Thankyou everyone

by Rosiesmum - 2015-04-10 01:04:42

Thankyou so much for all who commented. It has made me feel a bit more optimistic. Will let you know how I get on.

Hi Rosiesmum.............

by Tattoo Man - 2015-04-10 07:04:29


.........all the guys here talk sense...they always do.

You have the option of calling the Samaritans...these people are there 24/7 and are there for YOU....you will find really caring, patient and fantastically well trained people who will support you and never give 'advice'...you quite probably already know your own solutions/strategies.

Phone them on 01482 323456

Or drop in and have a chat...they are on 75 Spring Bank in Hull.

As others have suggested..get out and shop for lunch and pop into number 75 for a chat and a cup of tea.

There are more people around the world like you than you might imagine...you are not alone..

Tattoo Man...with you in thought.

Stick with PM Club and keep PMC in the loop.

Down the road in Newark on this lovely day.

Hi Rosiesmum

by IAN MC - 2015-04-10 12:04:05

I used to live in Beverley so I know your neck of the woods really well . I see that you are going to pay for a 2nd opinion . In my experience UK cardiologists become totally different personalities when you see them privately; they start doing strange things like listening and giving you loads of time. Make sure that you see someone who specialises in the electrics of the heart rather than a plumber.

Please let us know how you get on.

One observation; if you get your GP on your side he/she will happily arrange for you to see a different cardiologist on the NHS. I have done it when I wasn't happy with cardiologist number 1 .

I promise you, the way you are feeling now is NOT as good as it gets !!

Best of luck

Ian

You Are Not Alone

by Many Blessings - 2015-04-11 07:04:37

Hi Rosiesmum,

Before I say anything else, please get help if you are actually feeling suicidal, or even if you're feeling there is no hope, so they can help you get through this tough time. And, you WILL get through this tough time! That being said....

My heart goes out to you! Please know you are not alone in what you are going through. There have been many posts out here with members saying they were struggling with depression or hopelessness in the early months.

When I had mine done, I was told it can take up to 8 months to feel "normal" both physically, emotionally, and mentally. Thank God, it didn't take that long, so I will hope and pray it doesn't take that long for you either. I have heard other members say they were told it could take up to 8 months too, so there must be something to that magic number.

I'm not sure exactly what you had done, what meds you are on, or what type of support system you have at home, but I'm wondering if that could make a difference in what you're feeling.

I'm hoping you're feeling frustrated and wanting to give up because you don't feel well with your new PM. I say that because I really, truly, honestly believe that when things settle down with your new PM and your new cardio doc makes sure your settings are right and your meds (if any) might be causing these feelings, that you are going to feel SO much better! And, I do mean SO much better! They can fix these things quickly when they figure out what's going on, so keep that hope up! If those things aren't the issue and it is actually "the blues", depression, or anxiety, then there is still hope and help for that too, I believe.

I did not suffer with depression after my procedure, but I did have some issues that made me feel like total crap and it wasn't getting better. There was a point where I just felt it wasn't going to ever get better. I was SO mad that I had the surgery, procedure, CRT-P and AV Node ablation! I mean, I was pissed! I regretted it more than anything I had ever regretted in my life.

As it turned out, some of the issues I was having and feeling were from the meds they gave me in the hospital, and to take when I went home (to help me sleep). Other issues were from a few PM settings that weren't right for me.

I was in the hospital for a week, and they were making some setting changes during that time. But, until I got home, got active, and started back to my normal activity, they didn't know exactly how to set them so they would work for me. During that time, I felt just HORRIBLE!

After I stopped the meds they gave me (Percocet) a lot of the issues went away. I did not do well on that drug at all. And, after a few experiments in changing my settings to get them right for me, all of the other issues went away. Hang in there! I just know your new cardio doc is going to help you figure out what's going on, whether it's your settings, new meds, or something else.

Trust me! I felt so horrible after mine, that I seriously wanted mine shut off! Since I'm 100% dependent, that isn't a possibility, and to tell you the truth, back then, I honestly didn't care. I wanted it off! That's how horrible I felt with the meds and wrong settings. I don't feel like that at all now, nor have I for a VERY long time. You'll get there too! I promise, promise, promise you!

Keep reading everyone's posts with your concerns. Do searches on this site on depression, anxiety, feeling blue, etc. You will find a lot of posts and comments on that. I know there will be at least one post that will hit home for you, and will give you the hope and strength to hang in there a little longer until things start turning to good for you. And, I promise you, it will turn to good for you!

The first few months can be rough. But, as soon as you start feeling better, even just a little better, you will see hope! And, hope is a great thing! That first glimmer of hope is the best feeling in the world! I swear to you!

Hang in there! I know things are going to get better for you! If you need to seek help and talk to someone, or even get on some mild anti-depressants to get through this stressful time, do it!

Go to YouTube, watch funny videos, I love happy animal ones, like unlikely animal friends. There are also a lot of videos on YouTube for relaxation, happiness, etc. Keep trying to find one that makes you smile or laugh. Watch funny shows, I like Two and a Half Men (the older ones). You may have another favorite. Get outdoors and enjoy nature. Again, do anything that makes you smile, laugh, or just appreciate life in general.

Best of luck to you! Let us know how you're doing!

You are not alone

by rolson - 2015-04-12 11:04:45

Remember, we are here for you. Every time I got scared or something was going on I didn't understand someone was here for me and we will be there for you so that someday you can be here for someone else. It will get better, NEVER give up! HUGS

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