I'm new :-)

Hey y'all! My name is Courtney. I'm scheduled to get an ICD next Friday so I was just wondering if anybody had tips or tricks? I'm 23 and have left ventricular cardiomyopathy with an ejection fracture around 30%. My heart problems all started when my colon ruptured from Crohn's disease. I was in septic shock, in a coma, and on a ventilator. My heart had to work really hard to keep me alive, which in turn damaged it. I wound up with an ileostomy and heart failure. I've done a little research here and there but just wanted to get an insider's point-of-view. This may sound strange but I'm not nervous or anything. The removal of my large intestine was really traumatic so I feel like I can make it through anything. Thanks in advance for any responses!

13 Comments

Welcome CFozzy

by Marie12 - 2013-09-11 06:09:32

Welcome to a great site where you will find all kinds of information and answers to your questions. You have been through an awful lot for being so young and you sound very strong.

I had my defib implanted July 3/13 and I also have an EF of 30% after a massive heart attack. Following are some of the things I wish the doctors and nurses had told me before the implant.

At first, the defib may move up and down when you are walking I use to hold mine in place with my right hand. Today, it is very snug but it did scare me at first.

If you have any chest size at all, wear a bra or gravity will pull your incision.

I can feel the sides of my defib as well as the top. Not a big deal now but it did scare me at first.

Sometimes, the defib is close to your underarm and it can make it difficult to move your left arm towards the right but it does get easier.

Make sure you know what your defib is set to for shocking/therapy.

I had alot of anxiety at first but now find there are significant amounts of time throughout the day that I forget it is even there. Make sure you follow instructions about moving your left arm very closely.

If you have any other specific questions, anyone on this site would be happy to answer. You have come to the right place.

With the strength that you can read between the lines of your comment, I know you will do very well.

Before you read anything else in here

by donr - 2013-09-11 08:09:10

Go to my post down near the bottom of this page to one called "Some Tough Love for Newbies." It will start you on your path to successful pacing.

I cover a lot of things that are common to any procedure that uses a scalpel. Stuff that most folks don't think of till after they have their PM implanted.

I'm with you on part of your surgical experience - I lost half my colon to a potential cancer this immediately past May.

Don

hi cfozzy

by jackiem44 - 2013-09-11 08:09:35

I just had my ICD implant last week (thurs 9/5) due to cardiomyopathy/low Ef% and a failed sudden cardiac arrest 3 weeks ago...

It is now 6 days postop and I am still very tired (could be due to my low tolerance of betablockers, not sure), the soreness is minimal as of today. I am having lots of dizzy spells over the past 5 days, so will have that checked out on Friday during a dr visit.

The ICD takes some getting to use, especially in not being able to wear a bra! just hoping my energy comes back soon so I can get back to at least light running/cycling...

As Marie indicated, this is an awesome site. I have had several questions and have always received very helpful information from all...

keep us posted! j

Thanks, everybody!

by CFozzy - 2013-09-11 09:09:34

I really appreciate the feedback! I do have one question...Marie12 said to wear a bra if I'm blessed in that area (thank goodness I've got one thing going for me haha) and jackiem44 said she can't wear a bra. I realllllly hope I'm going to be able to wear one because I feel naked without it. Is there a period of time after surgery that you can't wear one?
I'm actually really excited to be getting an ICD. Unfortunately, I saw my mother and mother-in-law pass away unexpectedly due to a heart attack (49 & 46 years old, respectively). Coincidentally, they both had heart failure like me. Knock on wood, I haven't had any major cardiac episodes. I wish they would have removed my colon BEFORE it ruptured because I would have been a lot better off. So, getting the ICD BEFORE anything crazy is a blessing.
I've learned to live with having to wear an ileostomy bag taped to my stomach at all times so the bump and scar on my shoulder seem like no big deal to me.
I'm not looking forward to the pain but I know it will pass.
I do have one more REALLY dumb question. If I get shocked and I'm touching another person, will they get shocked, too? I felt too embarrassed to ask my surgeon lol.

Welcome

by Bostonstrong - 2013-09-11 09:09:56

You have been through a lot for your age. I hope sunnier days are ahead and wish you the best. I'm with Marie on the bra, females have to contend with some anatomical pulling on their incision. Stay strong and keep us posted.

Getting shocked

by donr - 2013-09-11 11:09:13

Yes, it can happen as you say. It is recorded in several medical journals.

My Cardios's nurse was once shocked by a patient whose ICD was firing. More later|

Don

Playtex

by Sharecropper - 2013-09-12 01:09:29

Hi CFozzy and welcome to the club! In your post above you asked about wearing a bra. I did not wear one for about 3 weeks because of the soreness. It was impossible to put one on alone because it hurt too bad to pull my arm back and forth to turn it around. However, after that, I started wearing one again but it was because the shoulder straps rested closer to the outside of the shoulder and not on top of the scar. I think you'll be able to find one that you can wear comfortably after you heal. You've been through a lot for someone so young and I wish you all the best! Good luck!

Sharecropper

Intestinal bleed and arrythmia.

by ptreyesguy - 2013-09-12 03:09:40

Courtney or anyone with similar experience:
Your situation resembled mine though yours was much more severe.
In June I had severe GI bleeding either from diverticular disease or too many ibuprofins. Lost about half my blood supply but blood volume was maintained via saline. No heart racing like you did. Fortunately I still have my colon. About a month after hospital release I had two syncopy episodes though my hematocrit was back to normal. Cardiologists say I had 2nd degree heart block and will implant a St. Jude two chamber in about two weeks.
They don't think the bleed and the syncopy were related but too much coincidence makes me doubtful of their conclusion.
Does anyone have experience with blood loss and subsequent arrythmia?
Chet

Soft Bra

by Marie12 - 2013-09-12 06:09:51

Courtney - Around the house, I wore a very soft bra (no underwire) and it hooked in front. I actually got one size (around) larger than normal so that it would be more comfortable. If I was going out to walk, I wore a regular bra and took it off immediately when I got home. Hope this helps. Good luck and keep us posted.

bra

by Shell - 2013-09-12 07:09:26

I personally had to wear a bra after because otherwise it felt like my breasts were pulling on the incision and it hurt. What I healed it's fine. (I hate wearing bras but def. need to when I'm not home) The straps never bothered me but they do some people. Good luck and keep up the great attitude you have!

try sport bra

by ohiolaura - 2013-09-12 08:09:04

My suggestion is to just wear a sport bra at first,as they are more flexibile and soft. After my PM surgery,while at home,I enjoyed the freedom of going without,but when I needed to go out,I had to wear something,so opted for my old friends in the sport area,and that worked for me.
When I was good with going back to the usual type,I was fine,and that was like 2 weeks at most after surgery,and if a strap was a bit of a concern,I rolled a bit of a tissue or small cloth under the strap on that side,and it made it fine.
Also,seat belts in your car,if you don't know,you most likely will have to put something between the seat strap and you as a cushion,just so it doesn't sit right on the spot.
I just kept a wash cloth in the car,dry of course,and folded it,put it on my shoulder when I belted up,and it was fine,did that for maybe a month or so til the area wasn't tender.
Good luck,and great attitude!
Laura

Getting shocked

by donr - 2013-09-15 12:09:50

I promised you more, so here it is: An older man & his wife of some 60 yrs die in a hot tub in Lee County, Fla in Feb 2012. ME finds that the spouse w/ the ICD had a heart attack & ICD fired. Other spouse became subjected to the jolts from the ICD through the skin & also died from the shocks.

Below are two comments that I wrote discussing the event. My conclusion was/is that it is completely possible if all the conditions are right That is covered in my discussion. Contemporaneously w/ the news reports of the event, a Cardio/EP in a blog stated unequivocally that it could NOT happen. He may be a good EP, but he is a lousy electrical engineer.

The validity of my argument hinges on TWO things 1) The significant drop in electrical resistance to electrical current when the skin is wet. We all know water & electricity do NOT mix well. About a week ago I was having to troubleshoot an "On Demand" water heater, This one just happened to be all electric. There are 5 temp sensors in the heater called "Thermistors." One of mine was apparently dead & I had to find out which one. To do so, I used a meter that measured electrical resistance, called an "Ohmmeter." Atone point in my testing I had to know what effect my skin resistance was affecting my meter's readings, so I measured my resistance w/ dry skin then just quickly licked each finger holding the test leads. Just a simple lick dropped my skin resistance by a factor of TEN! Can you imagine what it would be were I to be waterlogged from soaking in a hot tub? 2) The timing of the delivered pulse - if it is delivered to the victim while his heart is in the "T Wave" in its ECG, The heart can easily go into VFib & lead to death. PM's, ICG's are carefully designed such that they are inhibited from generating pacing pulses during T Waves - but that is for the HOST, not a potential victim.

Read on for an interesting story. I just checked, the news article is no longer available on the web.

Don

First Comment:
This is probably true!
Comment posted by donr on 2012-02-16 07:54.
Electrocuting a human being is not easy. The electrical system for our devices is a closed system w/in the body. How her ICD could have its current flow escape her body & return to itself is a wild theory. It is going to take the shortest & easiest path from the tip of the lead in her heart back to the source - & in my book, that would not include passing through her skin, out into the spa water, through him & back through her skin to the ICD case.

Now, I can see how after being in the water for a few minutes, that the electrical resistance of the water/skin interface would decrease dramatically. But there is not all that much energy in the shock pulse.

However - to be intellectually honest, I Googled & found this statement in a report "This case report describes documented nerve injury to a rescuer by a shock delivered from an ICD during chest compression on a patient in cardiac arrest." This report, which costs $31.50, has full details - but I'm too cheap to spring for it. The statement came from the abstract at the heading of it. ANother report out of Wuertzburg, Germany discussed skin surface potential variations in people having ICD discharges - they were significant! significant enough to cause a cardiac reaction in the person touching the ICD host! The link for this article is: www.anestesifag.no/...%20Støt%20icd/journal%20of%20pacing.pdf.

Consider what happened - the woman has a massive, sudden heart failure. Her ICD detects flat-lining & tries to revive her heart - unsuccessfully, so tries again & again, & again. Husband sees wife collapse & reaches out & grabs her. Their skin-to skin resistance is by now quite low & he receives shocks at the same time she does. Being elderly, he cannot handle the repetitive shocks & goes into cardiac failure of some type - fibrillation, arrest, etc. He dies. It would not be electrocution in the classical sense, but death due to electric shock.

Sure wish I weren't so cheap - I could read the mechanism of this all.

Don

Second comment:
More about ICD's
Comment posted by donr on 2012-02-16 22:49.
Had an appt w/ Cardio today. Talked to his head nurse about the story & she related the following: Some time back she was having to take care of a patient w/ an ICD. Said ICD was firing several times in succession & the man was freaking out. She reached down to restrain him and at that same time his ICD fired. She felt a shock where she touched him. Not dangerous, but uncomfortable. Now this was with both people having dry skin & Her holding him w/ the palms of her hands.

Dry skin has a very high electrical resistance & the palms of the hand have higher resistance than other skin. External defib takes this into account & delivers a much more powerful jolt through the paddles than an ICD does. It has to in order to get any significant current through the skin. IIRC, our PM's deliver fractional joule (about .3 joules) charges to the heart; an ICD delivers 3+ joule charges; paddles deliver even much higher charges JUST to get through the skin. I was once party to an organization that determined how much voltage it took to push a current through dry, live human skin. It was amazing what that number turned out to be - well over 10 volts, IIRC. None of the guys were stupid enough to volunteer for finding out what it took when you were wet or compromised. This was a bunch of PhD physicists, electrical engineers & other savvy electronics techs.

(If you want to learn what it takes to get through dry skin, find out how legal executions are carried out. Remember I said in my first comment the "Electrocuting a human being is not easy. ")

Ever get an electrical shock through a cut or abrasion? Well, I have in an EE Lab a lifetime ago. The shock was fingers to forearm, & was from a power supply for a vacuum tube, so was of significant voltage, but little current capability. When my skin was dry & un-compromised, I merely felt a tingle. When the skin surface was compromised, I nearly jumped up into the fluorescent light fixtures. Let me add that I have, through stupidity, taken a 110V jolt left hand to right (or was it right to left?). The current, whatever it was went right past my heart & PM. I noted the exact time & when I saw my cardio next time, looked into the PM records - nothing recorded as out of the ordinary at that instant or even w/i hours of it. But a heart doesn't react to a 60 cycle (Hertz) current the way it does to pulses designed to make it function.

I listed the link for the German study that discussed the person who had some sort of cardiac event while doing resuscitation chest compression on another whose ICD was firing. So now I can offer a second person account of experiencing a similar situation.

I had a session w/ the Medtronic rep for a download & Miss Personality (That's what my wife calls her) had not heard of the story, but was highly skeptical of it occurring.

What did I say - "This is Probably True."

Water would not potentiate the transfer of charge, but given water-logged skin from soaking for a while, with its reduced electrical resistance, it surely could make it easier for the husband to receive a shock.

Wife & I soak every night in out hot tub for therapy for bad backs. I know what our skin gets like. Also, we keep out tub at a pH above 7.2, which means it has a reasonably decent concentration of ions in it, making it a pretty good conductor.

It will be interesting to hear how this one plays out. The autopsy results will tell it all & Medtronic, et al will be very interested in the results.

Why haven't we heard of more instances? Probably because the exact collection of requisite conditions has not occurred simultaneously as I hypothesized: 1) woman has massive, fatal heart attack. 2) ICD begins firing & does so continuously. 3) Companion grabs her to help, making good electrical connection w/ her, w/ path in his body from one hand to other, current passing heart. 4) He has a "weak" heart. 5) shocks he gets are just enough to induce fibrillation. 6) He dies from fibrillation. When I read about ICD's & the selection of voltage, current, wave shape of the pulse delivered, and it's timing, apparently all those factors are critical, lest the same pulse that ends fibrillation can induce it. The ICD selects very carefully the timing of the pulse.

I would like to see/read the autopsy report to find out how the ME determined & explained cause of death.

Yes, lots of people die in hot tubs. It makes the papers as a small obit type article. This one falls into the realm of the bizarre, hence a bit more interest. At least it caught the attention of Admin.

I say it should be discussed. It may be a very real threat that has low probability of occurring, but disastrous consequences when it does.

Sorry if I disturbed anyone, but I did not open the discussion. I merely gave a reasoned hypothesis of HOW it could be a correct conclusion as to the cause of death of the man. I would dearly love for some one to PROVE it is wrong. I wrote this comment twice. First as a complete skeptic, thinking it was pure junk science. Then I went & did a bit of Google research, which cast doubts on my original conclusions. Then talked to my nurse friend & she convinced me that there was a way that the story could be true.

My credentials: I am an EE, but my specialty was electromagnetic wave propagation. I have experience with devices & equipment, but not extensively w/ medical electronics. I have been waiting patiently for Frank to happen by & put in his 2 cents. Perhaps this will stimulate him to come by & either confirm or debunk my hypothesis.

Don


Well Welcome !

by Duke Heart Patient - 2013-09-19 11:09:16

Hi Courtney ......

My name is Michael .... 39 years old .... PM in Dec 2011. Open Heart Surgery at 2 months old in 1974. Transposition of the Great Vessels. Feel free to chat anytime or ask anything.

You can email me if you would like at king.michael@live.com .....

I am new to this "implant" thing to, just 2 years old now and still getting use to it. Good days/ Bad days.


Here is my story :

The Shock of My Life
Being born with a heart defect was just a blessing from God. At 2 months old I underwent transposition of the great vessels (Open Heart Surgery - Transposition of the great vessels (TGV) is a group of congenital heart defects(CHDs) involving an abnormal spatial arrangement of any of the great vessels: superior and/or inferior venae cavae(SVC, IVC), pulmonary artery, pulmonary veins, and aorta. CHDs involving only the primary arteries (pulmonary artery and aorta) belong to a sub-group called transposition of the great arteries (TGA) at Duke Hospital. Growing up having to watch my own self was what I did. Taking medicines everyday was the normal routine for me. Visits to Duke twice a year, test, studies and treatments all my life. Things changed again on December 10, 2011, a day I will never forget.
That Wednesday before my episode, my wife’s father passed away at the young age of 62. That week before my experience I had taken off work to be with Jaime back and forth all day to visit her dad at the hospital. Her dad passed away December 7, 2011. It was very sudden and much unexpected. We were all in shock to say the least. The funeral planning and visits were long and depressing. That Saturday morning I woke up like I normally do, got ready to go off to referee basketball at the local HS gym for some good Saturday recreational games. I could tell I was just tired, give out and drained from the whole week before. I arrived at the gym ready to go. The first two games were fine. I felt pretty good after getting out on the court and jogging around. The third game seemed to be fine. After that game I knew something wasn’t right. I just felt hot, tired and like I really wanted to just throw up. My good friend Chris that I had been calling with also knew something wasn’t right. I remember him asking me if I felt ok because I didn’t look good. I walked outside to get some air, sat on an old milk crate. It was probably around 40 degrees outside. As I sat there, Jaime walked up to me to see if I was ok. I told her I was just hot and thirsty. Jaxson came out and sat with me. Just a
very few minutes later my good friend Justin came out to check on me. He sat down beside me, felt for a pulse in my wrist and couldn’t find one. He walked me inside into the medical room at the HS. I lay out on the table; still no pulse could be felt. He called 911 and the rescue came by and hooked me up to the heart machine. I was in A-Fib (Atrial fibrillation (AF or A-fib) is the most common cardiac arrhythmia (irregular heart beat). It may cause no symptoms, but it is often associated with palpitations,fainting, chest pain, or congestive heart failure. However, in some people atrial fibrillation is caused by otherwiseidiopathic or benign conditions.) They rolled me out on a stretcher and loaded me in the ambulance. Jaime told them not to take me to the local hospital to take me to Duke. They called Wake Med to let them know I was on the way there. As I was in the ambulance, the medic asked me several questions. I laid there very calm and alert explaining my history at Duke and all my heart issues I have dealt with in the past. They must have tried about 20 IV’s on me and could not get one started. My arms were torn up, I looked like a druggie. I gave the medic all my medical information, medicines I was taking and all my contact information. He was surprised I was calm and knew it all. I believe that the 2 guys in the back of that ambulance with me that day were scared to death I would pass out and die on them. After about a 45 minute ride to Wake Med I was greeted by about 3 doctors and 5 nurses who rushed me back into a room. It wasn’t one of those visits where they rip your clothes off and start running around. It was very calm and coordinated. I undressed, out a gown on and laid there watching my heart rate running 236-240 for almost an hour now. The nurses came in, talked to me and began IV’s. After about 30 minutes, still no IV’s could be started. My heart still racing. The doctor had me try a few techniques to see if that would help and nothing. Finally, an IV was started. The doctor asked for some medicine through the IV that would stop my heart for about 7-10 seconds. Three times this was tried and not once did it work. Yes, it stopped my heart and I could feel it and it did feel like what he said, a mule kicking me in the chest. After those attempts didn’t work, the next step was to shock my heart back into a normal rhythm. I remember the doctor telling me this may hurt a little. Remember I was awake and alert at this time, on no pain meds, just laying there waiting and then boom, I was
hit with the shock. This wasn’t the paddles like you see on TV, I was already hooked up to the machine in case I did pass out and they needed to use them before they were ready. That shock threw me up about 3 feet into the air, half way off the bed. I was caught my 3 nurses. It was a quick flash; a bright orange light hit my body from head to toe. I felt it all over. I balled up like a baby. Without a doubt, that by far is the worst pain I have ever felt. The doctor asked me how I felt. “I feel like slapping you” I told him, that hurt bad. He told the nurses next time to remember to put the side rails up and maybe strap me down. After that shock my heart rate dropped from 236-240 bpm to 60-64 bpm and it had worked. My heart went back into its normal slow rhythm. I stayed at Wake Med about 8 hours before being transferred over to Duke around midnight. While I was at Wake Med I remember a young girl from Clayton that was in a terrible car wreck just 2 rooms down from me dying. The doctors and nurses were doing their best to save this life. Unforntanlatly she didn’t make it. I remember hearing screams and cries. It was some of the worst sounds I have ever heard.
About midnight Wake Med loaded me up to take me over to Durham at Duke Hospital. Jaime and Mom followed the ambulance over. I remember sitting up in the back of the ambulance looking out the back window at them following us. The medic in the back of the truck was a female. She talked to me to help me get my mind off everything that I had been going through that day. She offered to let me use her cell to call Jaime behind us so I did. I just wanted to tell her that I loved her and tell Momma the same. I remember the medic telling me that there was another patient up in the front part of the ambulance with another medic who was going to Duke to be treated with a brain tumor. My situation didn’t sound so bad then. Once we arrived at Duke, I was rolled up to the 7th floor. I was admitted right across the nurse’s station. Looking out my window I could see Duke Chapel right across the way all lit up and colorful. That was a pretty site. I went through the normal admission procedure, checked vitals, changed clothes and settled into my room. 7120 was my room number. That night, going into the Sunday morning I didn’t sleep much at all. I was hooked up to all these machines, beeping and buzzing. Around 5:30am the lab nurses came in and got blood work from me. Once I
finally did get some rest it was time for the day shift to come in and I just couldn’t rest. The heart machine I was on allowed me to freely walk around the floor and get out of my room with the staff still being able to locate me and monitor my heart rate. I didn’t leave my room that day, I was scared and at least being in my room and across the nurse’s station I knew I was close by if I needed them. Mom and Jaime spent the night with me. Mom never left my side till that following Friday and I had my pacemaker implanted. Jaime got up that Sunday morning and went home to check on the kids who stayed with my dad at our house. They wanted to see me. That Sunday afternoon while lying in the bed watching TV all of the sudden this alarm went blaring off so loud, doctors and nurses went running. Just 2 rooms down from me someone had died. There heart stopped beating. They brought this persons heart back to life. They had saved him. That patient was then sent around the corner to the intensive care heart unit. That scared me. The sounds and panic going on and not knowing really upset me. I was not expecting that to happen. The nurse told me that is what the staff is there for. Needless to say, that Sunday was not fun for me. I cried and cried and was scared to leave the room.
That Sunday afternoon Dr. Kanter, the pacemaker doctor stopped by to visit with me. He and my regular heart doctor had already talked about what I needed, a pacemaker. He came in, sat with me and explained what he thought was best. A single lead pacemaker to help regulate my heart rhythm. Before we did that he wanted to have some test done. I was scheduled for a heartablation. (The ablation of atrial fibrillation is an invasive technique that is used in the treatment of Atrial fibrillation(AF in the UK or Afib in the US), one of the most commoncardiac arrhythmias. Ablation is the removal or melting away of an unwanted structure or tissue. Ablation of atrial fibrillation can be accomplished with different techniques; the most established approach is via radiofrequency ablation around the pulmonary veins, which are the veins that bring oxygenated blood from the lungs back to the upper chambers or atria, in the left side of the heart.) Sunday night was sleepless and led into Monday morning. Waking up again at 5:30 for blood work. Dr. Armstrong came to see me that morning and tell me I was going to be ok. She and I have known each other my whole life. She recommended
me to speak with a therapist also to help me relax. The therapist came in later that Monday and spoke to me. We did a few relaxing techniques that really worked. He stayed with me for about 3 hours that day, talking and relaxing. That Monday afternoon I went down for my procedure. I was explained what was going to happen to me and the test they would do. I was rolled into the surgery room. They hooked the shock pads up to me and again I felt the fear. I was scared they would use them again or what if I just didn’t wake up. They gave me medicines that put me to sleep. I remember waking up being rolled back into my room. Jaime, Momma and my sister were with me. They all explained to me the procedure was a failure. Once I was put to sleep and they began my heart jumped back up to 240 bpm and they stopped. They gave me medicines to slow my rate back down. I went back to my room where I had to lay flat on my back for 4-6 hours to recover. Everyone was there waiting to see me. That night it was just me and mom. I cried myself to sleep, I didn’t want to die. I was 37 years old, married with 2 young kids. What had I done to deserve this ? Why me ?
While at Duke my nights where long and sleepless. My night nurse Rebecca was totally amazing. She and I talked a lot. She was 1 year younger than I was. A single mom with 2 kids. She herself had also had some heart issues and was on medicines for that. She would do all her work and routines and then come see me around 3-4 am and we would talk for about an hour or two. She really helped me relax at night without taking sleeping medicines. My other night nurse was Angel. She was a huge Carolina fan and we got along great. The nights were just very long, scary and depressing.
Tuesday came and again, blood work and rest. I asked about taking a shower and being unhooked from the machines I was on. Quickly I jumped in and took a shower. That was the first shower in 4 days. I had washed off but nothing like I needed. The doctors did the rounds and started me on some new meds to see if that would work in place of getting a pacemaker. They wanted me to try them and see so I did for 2 days. Tuesday night was restless again. Wednesday was rest, TV, bed and just relaxing. Thursday I went back down for another ablation. It didn’t work, the same response and the medicines without a pacemaker wouldn’t work either so I was scheduled for a pacemaker implant on Friday December 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm.
Friday morning came. Momma still by my side. She hadn’t been outside or left me at all. I woke up Friday morning ready to get that pacemaker. The doctors had stopped by that morning to tell me again what would happen. I couldn’t eat all day , I was starving. Around 1-1:30 pm they came to get me , rolled me down again, hooked me up to the shock pads once more. They gave me something to relax me and help me rest and sleep … about 2 hours or so I was back in my room , awake and recovering. The surgery was a success and I had a new pacemaker implanted. I laid around that afternoon and finally Friday night my mom went home. She said she knew I was ok. Jaime stayed with me that Friday night and left me that Saturday morning around 9. For the first time I was alone. I was once again scared. Alone in my room with my new pacemaker. I went out to the hallway and walked around. The nurse had stopped me to let me know that 18 laps around the floor was a mile so I began to walk and walk. During the week my Church brought me a get well package. In that package was a book of daily devotions. I had already read most of them before. I walked the floor and noticed that there was a new patient about my age. He looked scared. I went to my room, got that book and wrote in it a little message and went back to his room and gave him that book. I told him that whatever he was feeling was normal and that God was in control. That Saturday night my long time friend Anthony came to stay with me. We stayed up talking about the good ole times. That Sunday morning came , Anthony left and the doctors came and said the news I was going home. I began to cry. I didn’t want to leave. I was happy right there in that room with the fear gone that if something happened to me again they were there to save me. I knew when I left I was on my own. I sat down at the bedside table and wrote a letter to all the staff to thank them for all there hard work and dedication for saving my life. I cried and cried. Jaime arrived around 1:00 pm to take me home. I was packed and just waiting to go. They rolled me down in a wheelchair to the front of the hospital. As soon as I sat in the car I busted out crying. Jaime thought I was having a meltdown and I was. I didn’t want to leave. I was so happy to be alive but scared at the same time. This was the first time I had been outside in 8 days. I met an old black man, 3 rooms down from me who we became good friends with. Mr. Thompson was his name. He was in need of a heart transplant. He
loved to talk and he and I would walk around the floor together. When my kids would come to visit me they would stop to see him first. He loved to see the kids and they would make him smile. I got his phone number and call him every once in a while and we chat about our lives and how we are doing. I guess being shocked was a wake up call for me. Things could be worse, I could be like Mr. Thompson and need a whole new heart. I found some comfort online in the pacemaker club support group. There many people who live with devices just express there concerns and ask for help and comfort. I met another good friend there Paul Jones who I personally have never spoken to on the phone but we text and email every day and give support. We both fear the unknown and living day to day. It’s a challenge not knowing what may happen if we do to much and over do it. My faith in God has helped me a lot along the way. My support from friends and family has been outstanding. February 4, 2012 I raised over $4000.00 to have donated to the American Heart Association in my name. The local community wanted me to keep the money to help pay bills but there are people who need help worse than I do, like Mr. Thompson who needs a heart. My heart may never function properly and may have backwards plumbing but thanks to God and Duke and everyone else who has helped me along the way I am a blessed and humble man.
I have dealt with the everyday livings of marriage, kids, works, and finances and so on and even though they do worry me and stress me out sometimes, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, not even a new heart. My whole life I have gone to Church and prayed for others that they don’t have to live like I do or go through what I have. I thank God for allowing this to happen to me so that I can be a good example for him and help others. I do have good days and bad days and even days I want to just tear this pacemaker out but without Christ I have nothing. He has me here for a reason. If not when I was born he could have taken me away then. I have beat all odds and lived a good life so far and I hope there is plenty more.
Back in 2008 I had surgery on my left ear to have a (Cholesteatoma is a destructive and expanding growth consisting of keratinizing squamous epithelium in the middle ear
and/or mastoid process.) removed from my inner ear. That surgery was very painful. It left my left ear canal about twice the size as my right one. I can hear a little better out of it but the whole is a lot bigger and sometimes I catch people looking at it. It doesn’t bother me like it use to, it’s just a scar of salvation and a reminder that Jesus loves me. I can say that my 8 days at Duke was an expierence that I will never forget.
Today I still live with fear. Fear of dying, leaving my family behind. The fear of failure. Am I a good son, husband, parent, sibling or person. The fear of my pacemaker quitting on me while I sleep. The fear of nighttime. Things that I have to work on for myself and I know I will get past them. Some of the stresses that use to bother me like overlooking all the baseball umpires don’t bother me anymore. I have grown to have an attitude of “I don’t care” anymore. Things that use to worry me don’t worry me as bad. I deleted all my social media and that has been a huge stress relief. Money will always be a concern. Bills will always come in. I will always owe Duke do to the visits twice a year now. But I am thankful they are so close to me and have been able to save me. I am thankful that my parents do love me and are still alive. I am thankful for my sister and brother, my in-laws, nieces and nephews. I am thankful for Jaime, Madison and Jaxson. I don’t know if I will ever “fully” recover from everything I went through in the past but I know who holds the future and he promises not to harm me and gives me hope.
To anyone who has been through what I have or will in the near future, don’t give up. Stay strong, listen to the doctors, rest and relax and most important , have faith, you are here for a reason. I can’t say your journey will be an easy ride but it will be a challenge, a testimony, a life changing event. You will see a side of yourself that you never knew you had. Embrace it and live it.
Thank You,
Michael King
Pacing since December 16, 2011

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