From surgery to stress to success..

• by mbaker87
• 2013-10-03 04:10:15
• Complications
• 1202 views
• 8 comments

August 23rd, 2013 I received my new Bi-V Pacemaker. When I woke up I felt as if a truck had blasted over my body...twice! Come to find out my Doctor had the roughest time in his entire medical career with me and my surgery. Apparently my old pacemaker had a screw that was stripped. So he ended up having to "break" my pacemaker out of my chest. He used this crazy tool that looked like the largest set of bolt cutters you can find. See pacemakers are made of titanium so I can't imagine how hard that was for him to do that all the while being careful with my medicated sleeping body beneath him. After a large group of Doctors came in the OR as well and plenty phone calls were made, the surgery was complete. He described my surgery as a story he would never forget and that he has never worked that hard... ever. Way to go me.. I make everyone remember me somehow! Okay so fast forward two weeks and my steri strips finally come off... BAM infection. My scar was ugly... it was just a mess. So I start taking more medications now... which includes 1800 mg of antibiotic a day, 80 mg water pill, potassium, two blood pressure pills, pain pills, ibuprofen, and vitamins. Praying with all the power in my body I ask God to please just let me be okay. I wanted to run or jump, or even just sleep in my bed for that matter. I was tired of hurting, crying, not sleeping, not being able to cuddle my kids, or play with my dog. Fast forward again a week or so.... I realized something was in my incision... something looked off and I knew it wasn't right. So I make the call and back down to the hospital I go... which is 1 hour and 45 minutes from my house might I add. I get there and the nurse explains that that object I see coming out of my incision is my suture from surgery. For whatever reason it never dissolved and popped out of the top of my skin. WOW... really... am I lucky or what at this point... So she calls the Dr. in the room, like he was off that day and they had to call him in. As he looks at what I have going on his decision is to try and pull the suture up as much as possible and cut it off and stick the rest back inside of me, throw a bandaid on there and see how that heals. I had NO pain medicine, NO local spray or anything to numb the pain. I was in so much pain, crying and shaking, wanting to be anywhere but in that room at that very minute. So after instantly having very angry feelings towards this Dr. I had just met for the first time I decided on just thanking God I was still alive and could even breathe air. I was sent home on more antibiotics and told to come back the next Friday. Here we go again let's fast forward about 4 days to Sunday, with a week left to go for my next visit. I realized I have a stinging pain, like a burning painful constant feeling pressure. So I try to not think about it and assume it is just part of my process. As the day progresses it gets worse though. So As I return to work I call the Dr. and let them know something isn't right. They realize how upset I am and stressed about it being almost one and a half months from surgery they express their condolences so much. I love the staff and I know it isn't their fault, but I tell them I don't like seeing them every week! As ONCE AGAIN my incision site gets checked out they realize my suture has came back up through my skin. At this point the best thing to do is have a second surgery. The surgery is called pocket revision. I am told that 3 days away I will need to be back at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. for surgery. I have no idea what to prepare for, how to calm myself down, or how to feel period. I am tired I miss picking my children up, I want to play with my dog, hug my man, sleep in my bed, put both hands above my head, tote the groceries in by myself, help my 5 year old wash her hair with both arms, and simply put a shirt on the right way. God has a plan for me and I just pray surgery tomorrow morning at 5:30 is a breeze. I am ready only because I know God is behind me and I can almost see the finish line now. Tomorrow marks a new day of the rest of my life and I am so ready to just wake up and realize I will actually be on the road to recovery for good this time! My story isn't the craziest in the world and I know some people have it way worse than me, but nonetheless it is my story and I have decided to share it. My hopes are that someone will need to remember how strong they are, and then even if they feel like only bad comes their way God will show them one day what they earned for being so brave. I have cried a million times, probably just within the last month, but God gave me my tears to shed my fear. I know when I go to bed at night I WILL wake up each and every next morning because I deserve to wake up. SO, without knowing what steps my journey will take tomorrow I will go in ready and strong. I will not let my health keep me down, and although my heart itself is weak I will never be. I was given this life and I will live it feeling thankful. Some people say I am unlucky, but I am beyond lucky. I have an incredible life and story that will just keep growing as I do.