Anxiety!!!!!!!

I am 21 years old and just had a PM implanted in January 2013. It's especially difficult for me because I never had a "normal" heart rate. I have always had a low heart rate and a doctor never once said anything about it. My heart rate before the PM always stayed in the low 50's-60's while active and low 40's while resting. I caught the flu in January 2013 and had to go to the hospital. The doctor's said my heart went dangerously low after I fell asleep. They were so worried about my heart stopping in the middle of the night, they came in and put shock pads on me! Talk about scary!!! I never ever experienced fainting, dizziness, or any other pre-PM symptoms. Finding out I needed a PM made me feel like I was just diagnosed with a terminal illness. My brain is still having a hard time adjusting to the fact I have a PM. I am always checking my pulse in my neck and wrists, I have a hard time relaxing. I lay in bed at night wide awake focusing on my heart beat. I never ever paid attention to my heart like this before. I have so much anxiety I lost my job and it's impacting my family and friends. I don't really want to go out and do anything, I just now started to drive again but I've only gone a couple of places. It's so annoying. I'm so scared of dying. I am seeing a professional and they gave me Paxil and Ativan. It seems like no amount of meds is taking away the anxiety! Please help! Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

12 Comments

Im 22 and had the same problem

by MWilson - 2013-06-04 11:06:09

Dee Ray-

I had a very similar problem adjusting to my implant two years ago and i'm about the same age (22). I felt the same exact way, always checking the pulse, wide awake at night, listening to my chest, researching life expectancy etc. Now however, i rarely. The best way i found to relieve the anxiety was with exercise (but only to the amount allowed by your cardiologist) and eating healthier. I know this may sound "health classish" but bear with me. I started with going to the gym around 6pm every day and progressively started doing more athletic things throughout the day. Seeing positive changes in your body like decreased fat and more muscle tone mentally made me think i was a healthier person (and in some ways it was true). Seeing yourself progress will satisfy you and make you think how much healthier you were then the day before. In addition exercise is a good natural anxiety relieve and believe me, i guarantee you'll have an easier time falling asleep.

Another thing, id try to get off the depression meds as soon as possible especially if they arnt helping. Mentally your going to become dependent and youll think that if you dont have your pill, youll become depressed. Worrying about worrying is a terrible cycle to get in.

Hope it helps and feel free to shoot me a message

-ben

anxiety 2

by 28sedan - 2013-06-04 11:06:24


I had lots of anxiety within the first 2 weeks. Horrible depression. Sleeping pills helped me sleep. Long walks fast paced good for anxiety. I too thought I was gong to die but that was over 2 years ago and I am alive and doing well. Keep coming back here tell us how you are doing.



Hello

by mytrose43 - 2013-06-04 11:06:30

HI glad you found this group,Yes it can be scary getting a pacemaker as I am sure it is for everyone,But i look at it as a god send because without it some of us may not be here so I am very thankful for this tiny computer in me that is helping me stay alive ,It took me awhile to get used to having a PM but now i hardly even think about it,you will learn to to accept it and be thankful for it in time .Good Luck valerie

Find what works for you

by Camille D - 2013-06-05 01:06:16


I can relate to the experience of anxiety. I suffer from anxiety myself - not just related to my heart, though I did find the experience of getting a pacemaker and adjusting to it really difficult emotionally. I think sometimes simply accepting that the anxiety is there can be a big help.

You might consider getting some help to work through it, such as a psychotherapist or counsellor. Therapy has been incredibly helpful to me - helping me process, understand and work through issues related to my heart (as well as other areas of my life). Other people find Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) a very helpful method for anxiety. Getting these types of support can really help you process and work through all the stuff this is bringing up for you - they can be a great adjunct to medication. When I was getting my pacemaker I was in University and they had these resources available for free. Otherwise they can be costly but if you talk to your doctor they might be able to point you in the direction of counsellors who are low-fee or covered by your insurance.

You might also try different things to see what 'tools' work best for you in managing your anxiety. Journalling, art, exercise, meditation, time in nature, playing with a pet... whatever it is that works for you and helps you to feel a little calmer and process a bit of what you're experiencing emotionally. I've also found some good anxiety workbooks that offer practices to help cope.

I like the suggestion of doing small amounts of exercise and building up. Once I got doing more and more exercise with my pacemaker I started to feel less vulnerable and more powerful - more excited about what I could do. Like you, my heart was always slower but I didn't have 'symptoms'. So I didn't know if I would feel any different when I got my PM.. and at first I didn't. But as I recovered, I started notice small changes. I found I could go up the stairs quicker. I started running, just bit by bit. I started to realize a new strength and physical freedom.

Today I run, box, hike, and more. It is so liberating. But it does take time to get there. After I got my pacemaker I felt so weak, vulnerable, and it took way more time to feel energized than I thought. But it did happen! And when you see what you can do it really is so satisfying & freeing.

Finally, pat yourself on the back for sharing this with the forum. Sometimes simply sharing your feelings and accepting that you are struggling at the moment goes a long way.

deeray

by lubro - 2013-06-05 08:06:28

you have every right to be scared... it's scary territory... it's not like having a broken leg, or a sprained ankle or such... this is your HEART...I would venture to say that every single person here has experienced that fear...but, like others have responded, just give it a little time...I think Grateful Heart's suggestion of cardio rehab is an excellent idea... I had my pacemaker installed about 3 1/2 months ago... I was scared to move... every little heart beat... every uneasy feeling ...every low heart reading... these seemed to be magnified...but each day will get a little better...
cardio rehab allowed me to regain my confidence to move about freely... you are exercising under controlled conditions with nurses monitoring you activities...
it will help you tremendously..both physically & mentally...
so, the fear and anxiety are normal feelings right now. just try to be positive... take it slowly...allow your body & mind to adjust to all the things you are going thru...
you'll be fine... just let us know how you are getting along...welcome to the club...

Lubro

Cardiac Rehab

by Grateful Heart - 2013-06-05 12:06:17

Welcome to the club, very glad you found us. It is a shock to most of us when our heart fails us and yes, it is very scary. Know that your heart is working better now that you have a pacemaker.

Knowledge is power so learning all you can about your device and educate your family and friends so they will become comfortable with it too. This site is a good place for you to start, much information here and caring, empathetic fellow pacers.

Get approval from your Doctor to go to Cardiac Rehab. It's kinda like physical therapy for your heart.

In Cardiac Rehab, you will meet other heart patients and exercise on machines while being monitored by Nurses. In the beginning we are scared and don't know if we can exert our hearts and to what level. The Nurses will teach you and you have fun in the class too. I think Cardiac Rehab should be mandatory for those patients who can safely exercise. I've said it here before but I had the best Nurses in my class and we all laughed a lot....laughter is good medicine !! I really think it will help you take the negative focus off your heart and get back to your ol' self.

Ask any questions you may have here, we've all had the same concerns as you. Let us know how it goes.

Grateful Heart



Keep it up

by Tony G - 2013-06-06 02:06:40

Glad to hear you had a good day more will come. Try walking with a friend. I found that when I am talking or listening I can walk without worry. The more I have done it the more confident I feel. So I feel confident enough to walk alone. I also just started cardio rehab and recommend it just because of the monitoring and they are right there to answer your questions. Try getting a second opinion as well. For some reason hearing what was wrong and how the pm will help from a second expert calmed me down. Don't be afraid to ask questions either.

New Information

by Grateful Heart - 2013-06-06 12:06:48

Deeray, you just gave us some new info. You said your upper limit is set to 110. That is low for an upper limit setting. There are MANY different settings and now it sounds like you may need some of yours adjusted. My upper limit was originally 120 (out of the box setting) and the more active I got, it was a struggle. My upper limit is now set at 150 and I am going to need an increase again because I keep hitting 150 now while exercising.

It doesn't feel good, it puts you into a 2:1 block so just when your body needs more oxygen, it cuts it in half....talk about hitting the wall! I just haven't been able to get to that Doctor in a while due to an unrelated surgery.

There is also something called a Rate Response setting. RR senses exercise/ movement and raises your HR accordingly. Whether or not you need the RR on depends on why you needed the pm.

I would have a conversation with your Doctor and see if some settings need to be adjusted. This may not be solely anxiety. You may find you feel better much better after the adjustments.

Hope this helps,

Grateful Heart

Thanks!

by deeray09 - 2013-06-06 12:06:51

Thanks for the wonderful advice! I took a walk today and did some dusting around the house to take my mind off the situation. I noticed I felt a little bit better. I have a problem with the weird feeling I get in my neck and throat when I exercise though. I can't explain it all I know is it uncomfortable. I am paced 100% of the time from 60-110 bpm. I feel like sometimes that causes my HR to be higher than necessary could that be true? Or is that just another worry factor?? After about a week of getting the PM my cardiologist noticed my resting HR was in the 80's to 90's and now I am on dilitazem to slow my HR back down so I don't know. I am confused lol.

Greatful Heart

by deeray09 - 2013-06-10 12:06:25

Thanks for the info. My doctor says that my PM will pace my heart until 110 then shut off and my own heart will pace itself beyond that point. He said since before the PM I had a cardiac stress test done and my heart is able to get up to atleast 140 by it's own. Idk all of this is too confusing! The reason why I needed the PM was while sleeping my heart rate would go too low and during the day it would barely reach over 60 if I was being active. The doc said I have a second degree av block.

OK

by Grateful Heart - 2013-06-10 12:06:40

So it isn't your sinus node then...is sounds like yours is working fine. Check to see if the Rate Response setting is turned OFF then. It sounds like you don't need it on and if it is on, it may be competing with your own sinus node when you exercise.

Grateful Heart

Deeray

by cuhead - 2013-06-18 07:06:42

I have 2nd degree block as well. Had my PM for 6 months now, and remember feeling exactly as you did. Just give it time - you will be fine. You are already better off now with the PM.

Keep a brief journal of any feelings you experience with your PM, note the day, time, activity and any vital signs if you can (heart rate, blood pressure), and discuss with your doctor at your next visit.

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