Depressed

I was admitted to the hospital on 7/22/2012 cause I had a lead malfunction,I was there for 4 days before they did surgery and started to get really depressed.Now all I have been doing is crying,cause I didnt think I was going to make it,I was really scared.The surgery was 4.5 hours long with a back up team for open heart surgery I was really afraid.Has anyone been throught this and what did you do to get over being depressed.I am also going on vacation and I am afraid of going,we are flying to Mexico to go ser my husbands family cause he hasnt seen them for 17 years.I also caught an infection and I had very high fevers but noe I am somewhat okay but still depressed.Can some one please tell if this has happen to anyone and what they did. Thanks Linda P.

9 Comments

Depressed

by TalkinCardio - 2012-07-12 01:07:33

Hi Linda, many of us here have gone through some period of depression or adjustment. I really cant add much after what Hopeful Heart and Tatto Man said, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and the feelings are quite normal. Enjoy your trip!
Cathy

thinking of you

by Hope - 2012-07-12 03:07:29

Hi! Wow! You have been through so much. So glad you are sharing with us, as we do understand. Please share your current emotions/feelings with your doctors and family now, before you leave on your trip. Let them help you through this difficult time. Hoping your trip to Mexico to visit with your husband's family will be a positive in the healing process. Your awareness and acceptance that you are at a difficult point in your recovery is the first step to feeling better. Please take the next step and ask for help to move forward. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay in touch. We care. Hopeful Heart

Hope

by Yakkwak - 2012-07-12 07:07:15

Linda, what you are experiencing occurs frequently with heart issues. Ditto the above sound advice. As a mental health professional, let me share that I have a hypothesis (that my EP agrees fully with) that often, pm/ICD patients experience a type of post (& sonetimes pre-) traumatic stress. This stress can make changes in the chemistry of the brain. If it were me, I'd give Myself permission to feel whatever it is I'm experiencing and try to focus on the blessing that this technology has afforded you. It takes time for this chemical storm frok the stress to correct. Make certain your EP is aware, & give yourself permission to feel the wonder of warm sand between your toes, the sun on your face, and the beauty of its reflection on the water. Sunshine is a natural treatment for depression. Stay away from the cocktails, alcohol is a depressant. Mega blessings!

Linda................

by Tattoo Man - 2012-07-12 07:07:33

............May I add my own best wishes for your recovery. You ask have other people had similar feelings.....the answer is 'yes'.

We all react differently to diagnosed conditions, surgery and subsequent recovery / acceptance. Because we are not robots it can come as a surprise when we have emotional reactions, . even.sometimes, a while after treatment. The whole business of anticipating surgery can be a massive strain on the patient and also the Family who often bottle up thier emotions to 'protect' the patient .

Getting 'done' is one thing,..getting 'better' is another. I experienced a wonderful elation after open heart surgery in 2007. My Dr warned me that the 'honeymoon period' may not be permanent..( I was so glad to be alive ). I got tearful and emotional a while later when the enormity of the situation finally hit me ,...I realized just how much emotion had been ,understandably hidden away by myself and those around me.

I think that, for some people, after sometimes a long wait for surgery a kind of Personal Storm is a natural way of discharging pent up, and sometimes unknown fears and anxieties.

18 months ago I had a 4+ hour Pacemaker Op as an emergency. I didnt have time to worry, it was "get in the van" time. The operation itself was a nightmare as they could not give me any more Vallium,..lying on the slab I would have cheerfully (?) welcomed death

So, 18 months on, I am still here with my fabulous Family and Friends, but I dont kid myself that the PM is anything more than an irritating Lodger that helps around the house. "Learn to love your PM" is not something that I have mastered yet.

I think accepting that your feelings are real is essential and those around you need to understand that too.

Any tricks ??...no magic here but try and get out into the fresh air,..set yourself some simple goals...?? write down your feelings ??...a spot of poetry ??..join something...learn something new...Yoga.

Make sure that your Doc knows how you are.

Enjoy Mexico,...have a Tequila for me eh ??

Do take care. My very best wishes.

Tattoo Man

hi linda

by jessie - 2012-07-12 11:07:16

have not been thru this but have been thru the depression that goes along with a life change of getting a pacemaker.i dont deal to well with illness so can empthasize with you. i hope you can enjoy this trip to mexico.tatoo man has excellent advice.. jessie

Thank you everyone

by pmagnolia - 2012-07-13 06:07:20

I want to thank everyone for your adivce it was ver helpful I am so thankful that I found this page cause I did feel so alone,cause my husband does not understand how it feels to have CHF and an ICD.So again I thank we all can be here for each other.Thank you and God Bless us all Linda P.

still Depressed

by pmagnolia - 2012-07-15 01:07:03

I would like to ask all my PM/ICD friends how long were they depressed for,when do these feelings go away.I am have a tough time. This is also for Hope please let me know.I had my surgery on the 26 th of July and all I do is cry. PLEASE someone give me some advice.Thank you Linda P.

Linda

by Tattoo Man - 2012-07-15 04:07:10

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time.

Do you have a history of depression or a propensity towards deep sadness?

Have you seen your Doctor and told him of your feelings?

Do you have someone close to you with who you can share your feelings with.

What activities, hobbies etc do you have.

Its possible that you are trying to deal with too much at once and ending up with a brain 'log jam'

Write down what your fundamental concerns are and write in small chunks,.. not long accounts...these are for you alone, not neccesarily for PM Club

Its about Baby Steps at this stage

Take care Tattoo Man

Been There

by elementaryedu - 2012-07-19 12:07:18

Hi! I'm sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time. I'm 28 years old and I have had a pacemaker since the day I was born (I have congenital heart block). I have had a similar experience as the one you listed above. When I was 16 years old, I experinced a lead malfunction. The lead itself had fractured. It fractured on a Friday night and I went to my local ER. At the time, I didn't know what happened and the ER doctor said I had an asthma attack. I was sent home with an inhaler and severe chest pain. I went to school on Monday but on Tuesday I had a teletrace at home and they immediately knew what happened. I was rushed to my cardiologist who I had been seeing since I was 3. It took 5 hours to get there and my condition kept getting worse. I was placed in PICU and had to remain there until Thursday afternoon so that they could stabilize me. By the time they could do surgery on Thursday, my heart rate had dropped to 19bmp. I was TERRIFIED! During surgery, they fixed my lead and within a few days I was home. After the fact, I went through a period of severe anxiety. I was scared to death it was going to happen again. Our local ER had failed to find what was wrong with me and it wasn't until I had my teletrace and was sent to my cardiologist, who is 5 hours away from my house, that I was able to get some answers and help. I stayed scared to death that it would happen again. I was constantly checking my pulse and I was scared to go anywhere and do anything. It got to the point that I would hyperventilate and have panic attacks. One night it got so bad that I panicked and sent myself into VTac. It was at that point that I realized I couldn't allow the past to control my future. It took a while, but I was eventually able to let go of the fear of getting sick again. I realized that I have always had a pacemaker and will always need a pacemaker and the incident that I had suffered may never happen again. But if it does, I made it through once so why not make it through again, right?!? :-)

Enjoy life! Go on your trip knowing that lead malfunctions are rare. The chances of it happening again are not very high. Take care!

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