arvd at age 35

Hello, im struggling to change my life...I had an Icd placed on 2/17/09, 2 weeks after it was placed I received my first shocked then a second 1 the same day while I was at the hospital, the Dr changed my meds to hopefully stop my heart from beating so fast...well im now scared to do anything, my heart is only functioning 30%, I went up and down stairs today and I felt something almost like pulsing sensations on my heart from my icd...I already have an appt tomorrow morning with the dr...how do people honestly get over the fear of it firing...i can honestly say , it was one of the most painfull things ive ever felt, i was awake during both of them...I wish I had passed out and not felt it! both times when it fired I was laying down..anyone have any advice that wont make me feel like Im living with a time bomb in my chest?

3 Comments

time for the hat

by verger - 2009-03-19 01:03:09

now you can go buy your zapper hat.
lord, do i know how you feel, it has taken me a long time to get over the anxiety,
i was afraid to drive for months thinking the thing would go off, and then the heart would start racing and i didn't know if i was getting to have another blast of volts or what.
for me i went the chemical route i was such a mess, klanopin for the anxiety, eventually the fear will subside, but every now and then when i think about it, my heart flutters and i get weak in the knees.

if you're really freaked, i'd get some meds for a while.
good luck

It needs time

by Katielou - 2009-03-19 05:03:38

Hi, welcome to the club.

As the other messages say, it does take a little time.

I had to wait five months for my first shock - one more month and I could have driven again! I was devastated as I then had to go another six months here in England. I was glad when it happened as at least I knew the ICD worked and the wondering was over. This was some years ago now and I was in a very dark place, but then when I accepted that this was how it had to be things really did get better. You have just been through a life changing experience and it can be very frightening.

I can assure you that it will get better and your confidence will return. There isn't a day that passes when I don't think about my ICD but when I look back to those early days I can't believe the state I was in. Now everything is fine - I have an ICD and I've been shocked, but that's as much as I allow myself to think about. I consider myself very fortunate and I have a very positive attitude now.

My meds were changed after my initial shocks and i have been shock free since. I hope this will be the case for you.

It's early days for you and everything can seem very bleak but give it a little time and you will get there.

You will always find support and encouragement here. Just ask any questions if you are worried or in panic mode. It can be a very lonely time even with family around you. Everyone here knows what you are going through.

Take care and let us know how you are doing.

Lesley

fear

by lb151 - 2009-03-19 08:03:40

The fear lessens as you get further out from the shocks. It will always be tucked in the corner of your mind,but,it does get better,,,I swear. Keep reminding yourself that without it you would not be here. It is the most scary thing ever. With the right meds your doc will be more able to control your rate. It just takes time to find the magic formula.
hang in there,cry when you need to,and keep the faith

You know you're wired when...

You have a $50,000 chest.

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