i hate my pacemaker

i really hate my pacemaker! i tell my mom that i wish i could go back before i had it but she tells me to remember how bad i felt before this! i feel so much better but my whole lofe has changed and i hate it. i feel no one can relate (considereing i no noone with a pacemaker at my age) everyone treats me differnet like im going to break. man this is so much harder for kids to get one. i almost wish i had not gotten it. anyone no how i feel please someone respond!!!!!!!

8 Comments

Handling having a pacer

by ElectricFrank - 2008-06-07 01:06:22

Just be sure you get the pacer adjusted so it is working right and is comfortable. After a while you will likely forget you have it. The other thing you have to look forward to is newer, smaller, better working pacers as the years go on. My guess is that within 10 years you will have a pacer that lasts a lifetime.
In your lifetime you will have several other devices implanted and will probably like them. How about a cell phone that operates directly off your brain. Just think of a text message and it is sent. Incoming messages just appear as an image in your brain. I'm not sure how you would turn the darn thing off.
Anyway, give yourself some slack and time to get used to your new friend (enemy?). I like to talk to mine!
By the way I'm 78, had mine for over 3 years, and last summer went hiking in Colorado at over 13,000 ft.

frank

Be thankful....

by auntiesamm - 2008-06-07 01:06:57

Hello Kelsie,

You don't tell us your age but I am thinking in the teens? How far off am I? It is tough enough to be a young person in today's society when all the focus is on looks, clothes, movies, bodies, etc. When someone has a medical problem people who are very shallow and quite caught up in themselves panic. It could be them this happens to. I think that causes a lot of what you have experienced - they may not even realize they are treating you differently or distancing themselves.

Best thing you can do is use your pacemaker as a teaching tool when the right opportunity presents itself and use humor in talking about it. I'm 68 yrs old, have had my pacer for 2 years. My two grandsons, both in their 20s, love to tease about their "computer operated" grandma. I am very grateful for my pacemaker and the fact that I did not have a serious medical crisis as a result of the heart block. It all happened quickly! I'm still astonished at the advances in medical technology for all ages.

If you can work on how you see yourself now with a pacemaker, and view it positively I think your friends and peers will change how they treat you. You are not contagious. Your pacemaker won't reach out and shock them. Chances of your heart stopping and you dropping dead is much less than theirs for the most part! You have it in your power to learn to appreciate what the doctors have done for you and become a role model for people with a disability who continues to live life to the fullest! The world can be changed one person at a time.........that is your challenge. Take care of yourself, remember how valuable you are to others and embrace life! God bless you.

Sharon (So Calif)

Hey

by impacing - 2008-06-07 02:06:04

hey, im guessing ure a teen? anyway. I had my pacemaker implanted 3 and a half years ago when i was 14. It was a complete shock and tore my life apart. I hated it. But now i am leanring to dela with it and look at it in a new light. Im the only bionic teen in my town :P.

Feel free to pm me if ever u want to talk.

<3 impacing

Pacemakers are a love/hate kind of thing!

by Swedeheart - 2008-06-07 02:06:11

Kelci,

I see by your profile you are 15. Unfortunately that time for me is way past.... but I am a retired high school teacher. Spent lots of time with 15 year olds for 30 years...

Being 15 is tough. But so is being 60. Things I never thought would happen to me, did. Just like you. The only "advantage" older folks may have is that we have had lots of practice at disappointment and hurdles to overcome in life so each time we are faced with something new, we have more tools to deal with the stresses and issues some of the time.

There are others on this website who are near your age. And a few college kids that have had their PM for awhile. You might scroll through the members list and click on their name and read their profile. You are likely to find someone around your age and maybe even in your state! I am sure it would be helpful for you to message back and forth to someone your own age. It is important not to feel alone.

I was delighted to see you wrote that you feel much better with your pacemaker! I am still struggling with that ~ I feel ok, but not quite "better"... I am hoping it will come, however.

You will not break! There are folks on this site who do all sorts of great things! They snowboard, waterski, hike, sail, swim, lots of activities! As you continue to recover you will be able to do more activities and your parents and friends will soon realize you won't break! You will have to help them learn that you are a strong young woman and want to live your life! The best way to do that is to help them have confidence in you. Be sure you make wise choices and aren't reckless ~ have your Mom go with you to the doctor's for your PM checkups. Let her ask questions too so she can get over her own fears, or manage them. It will all take awhile. My best advice: talk it over with your family, friends. Don't run it into the ground that will only cause irritation; be as adult and responsible as you know how ~ life will get better! Your family is fearful something awful will happen to you, friends may be afraid to ask you to do things because they don't want you to be hurt... it is all from a lack of understanding and lack of knowledge. It isn't anyone's fault, but make it your goal to help them learn as well as yourself.

Now, post more questions, tell us what you absolutely hate about your PM the most... and then go out and work on living your life! Summer is here and school is likely out or out soon! Do things that are fun!

Swedeheart

LOOK AROUND YOU

by peter - 2008-06-07 03:06:29

A pacemaker is no big deal. Just look around there are lots of teenagers far more disadvantaged that you are. Your little friend is going to keep you going so that you can enjoy your stay on the blue planet. There are lots of people much younger than yourself who have a pacemaker. You will get used to it over time and it will become your little pal always there to help you and never let you down unlike other things in this world. Cheers Peter

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!!!

by Jack R - 2008-06-07 12:06:40

You don't say how old you are or if you are male or female, but neither matter. I am much older than you, but when I was 25 was diagnosed with Hodkins. I had 2 kids, and was told I wouldn't live to 26. I am now 68. I have had 3 heart attacks, and two pacemakers. I ride horses, get around by motorcycle, and until the second pacemaker, flew my own plane. All my Heart problems are due to the radiation therapy I had for the Hodgkins. It was very primative back then, but it saved my life. The key to getting past serious health problems is not to feel sorry for yourself. There are many people in this world who have worse illness or physical disabilites. You need to accept the fact that life is not fair, and to understand that you have had the great good fortune of excellent health care. Don't focus on what you can't do, instead excel at what you can do. My wife somtimes treats me like I am an invalid. I tell her that I do 4 miles a day on the treadmill, and she cant do two. I winter in Florida, and ride my mountainbike at least 10 miles a day. Yes ther I things I cant do anymore. The DRS do not want me to weightlift. So I cut back to doing some lifting at lighter weights and do high reps(I used to bench press 275, and I weigh 175). I live in NE PA, and have a horse farm If you live near here and would like to visit with your folks, dont hesitate to contact me. Look at the PM as an opportunity to do great things with your life, not as a liability. BEST WISHES TO YOU....JACK R

Turn the hate into life full of fun

by harley63 - 2008-06-08 04:06:11

Hey, waz up?

Check out the camp for kids/teens with devices. Perhaps going to a summer camp for other kids/teens your age is in order?? Look it up on the main page of the site.

I'm an ole gal and hate being treated like I'm gonna break too. It's just others reaction to what you are living with. They need time to adjust and to understand that you are on your way to a life full of fun, happiness and quality health.

Keep smiling.. keep laughing.. keep your chin up..

We are all cheering you on and here for you.
Harley63

PM & Living

by richan - 2008-06-13 08:06:59

Hi Kelsieb,
By now, I think you have discovered that we are all with you in the same boat.
I agree with Swedeheart, mine has been very much a love/hate relationship. I do have to admit that there is less hate, now.
Clearly, we are all pulling for you and hope that you will find ways to make your life a happy one.
Take good care of yourself.
Richan

You know you're wired when...

You trust technology more than your heart.

Member Quotes

As for my pacemaker (almost 7 years old) I like to think of it in the terms of the old Timex commercial - takes a licking and keeps on ticking.