Helping my Dad!

My Dad had a defibulator/pacemaker implanted 3 weeks ago. He is 77 years old and doesn't use the computer but I am worried about him and found you all online. HE doesn't really have any specific complaints but just generally does not feel good. The incision and site he says he cannot even feel anymore. He does really have any energy, wants to sleep all day and no zest for life or going back to work. I think he is just in a funk because this is life changing and one of his first realities to aging. Is it normal to feel depressed or have anxiety? I just want to let him know that other people feel overwhelmed also. I think he feels like it didn't work or just made him worse:(
Thanks

5 Comments

Hello Daughter6

by Swedeheart - 2008-03-22 02:03:00

Well, I certainly don't have all the details by your post, but if your Dad had a implant just 3 weeks ago and he is 77... I just had an implant 3 weeks ago and I am 60 and just now beginning to feel good enough to do a few things. If your Dad was fairly ill or had a emergency implant he would have been pretty tired before... this pacemaker thing is pretty hard on our bodies. The doctors seem to play down the recovery time. I think they don't want us to worry or become too depressed.

Certainly receiving a Pacemaker makes us realize we won't live forever, there are a lot of emotional issues involved. It is not unusual for a heart patient to have some gloomy days. We are all overwhelmed sometimes. I would say the best thing you can do is to read some of the postings you have found helpful or educational from this site. You could certainly "post questions" for your Dad if he has some and read the answers to him later.

You said you think he feels like it didn't work or just made him worse. Has he had his follow up appointment yet to check his pacemaker? Be sure and have someone go with him and learn all you can. Have them explain what they are doing to him and why. Be sure and tell his doctor he isn't feeling good and is really tired. It could be his age and just recovering more slowly than some, it could be he is a little gloomy, it could be his device isn't set just right and needs to be adjusted. It could be a combination of all three.

My advice, for what it is worth, is to let him know he is loved and that you want to help. We all want to "get over" this initial period and be able to get on with our lives. It isn't easy and even though you may feel helpless it is important your Dad knows you are there for him.

Helping 77 year old Daddy

by daughter6 - 2008-03-22 06:03:49

Thank you for your posts and comments. I am going to read them to my Dad. I think they will be helpful. Many of you said stuff about settings? He had a defibulator and I assumed that also included a pace maker but at his follow up appt they didn't mention anything about settings. He is getting a machine. I think I need to read up on his stuff. Could he not have settings? Hs wasn't an emergency, they said it was just an insurance policy since he had a weak heart with 4 stents put in 6 months ago. He seems to be having a good day today. I think he/we thought there wasn't much recovery but I am realizing there is a significant recovery to being back to normal:)

I was 40...

by heckboy - 2008-03-22 08:03:27

When I got my first PM and while a positive person with a speedy recovery, i remember being depressed for weeks. It may take several sessions to get the setting tweaked just right for him too.

Feeling better

by Tessy - 2008-03-22 10:03:19

I had my pacemaker fitted on 29 January this year. I can now say I am feeling 100% better. Your father will be going through some emotional feelings, and will feel tired for a while. I found I was just lounging around, didn't go out for at least 3 weeks. When I did start going out I found I had to walk slowly. 77 is not old these days, and people live for many years after having pacemakers fitted. Probably longer than if he didn't have one :). He will cheer up in a few weeks, get him a few nice books to read and tell him to make the most of the time 'doing nothing'.
Teresa

Normal reaction

by Carol - 2008-03-22 11:03:34

Hi!
Since your dad doesn't use the computer I hope there is a way to print out our replies so he can read them. First of all I'm 55 and had my PM implanted 5 months ago. I was depressed AND anxious not to mention physically wrung out from it all. Doctors tell you its "No Big Deal" and I believe for some it's not, but for others like myself, it takes time to both physically and emotionally heal. I had all kinds of problems with the PM settings that caused my heart to race, palpitate, etc. and I really thought I would NEVER feel good again...which only added to the depressed and anxious feelings. It's also difficult to face the fact that we aren't "like we used to be" and that we now have a chronc health issue. If this is some of what your dad is feeling, PLEASE tell him to be patient and give himself time to heal. 3 weeks is VERY early in the healing process. I too felt like sleeping alot and didn't go back to work for several weeks.....it takes time!! Sure hope this helps. We all know how he feels. Best wishes, Carol

You know you're wired when...

Your device makes you win at the slot machines.

Member Quotes

Your anxiety is normal. It takes some of us a little time to adjust to the new friend. As much as they love you, family and friends without a device just cannot understand the adjustment we go through. That is why this site is so valuable.