Panic

I've posted previously on difficulties with anxiety (I had thought that a panic attack may have been responsible for an episode of arrythmia I suffered). Now I believe there were several factors at work, but I cannot get rid of the anxiety that it can happen any time. I have been having extreme anxiety every time I leave the house---especially alone---which is immensely inconvenient. I am a very independent person (I love to see movies by myself, spend a lot of time walking alone, etc.) and I cannot stand needing to have someone with me all of the time. I'm seeing a hypnotist for therapy, as it helped a lot last summer with some of the anxiety, but things are not going as well this time around. I feel powerless and trapped by so much fear, and I disappoint myself more every day by not being able to do anything. My question is for anyone who's dealt with severe anxiety or had panic attacks: What kind of treatment did you seek and how long did it take to work?

I'm asking now because I am supposed to go on a first date tomorrow night and will probably have to cancel because I can't imagine how I'm going to get there without experiencing overwhelming anxiety just walking down the street. This is really not the kind of thing I want to explain to someone I don't know, and it'll just be a shame to have to give up on a nice boy because of the anxiety caused by my defibrillator. It's hard enough as it is.


17 Comments

With all due respect

by Peter.Nash - 2008-01-11 02:01:11

To dward,
Panic attacks are a mental health problem and should be treated as such.. the affects of them can be soul destoying as a lot of peope here on this site will vouch for..... and it certainly is not a case of "Pity City" I know what you are saying and respect your opinion But I have suffered these attacks and a "sledgehammer" is not the way to go in my opinion...
This is a young frightened girl we are talking about here.... and she needs help and encouragement to find her way back... and as "pacergirl.".put it "small steps",
there are no giant leaps when you have lost your way.
My opinion only of course... we are all entitled to what we think..... and I know we all want Jane to get to grips with this and what is best for her ..Peter.N

Panic

by Nuka - 2008-01-11 03:01:05

First of all I wish we could find you a happier name than Broken Hearted Jane. Something a little more positive maybe but of course that choice is yours. You are much too young to have anything hold you back from enjoying your life.

Anxiety can be a terrible monster to live with and the only way to slay the beast is to find a means to conquer it by getting the upper hand..

I assume your biggest fear is the ICD triggering and the
arrythmia is secondary, or perhaps they go hand in hand. This is not a fun thing by any means that you are dealing with my dear but lets see if we can help a little.

If I were you I think I would talk to my doctor about a mild medication just to help you calm down and smooth the edges off a little. I, for example, have Atavan which I take if I am getting to hyper because that for sure leads to A Fib. for me. It does wonders for me but like any of these medications it is high addictive so I caution you on using this kind of medication regularly. I only take one every couple of weeks when I find I am losing my ability to control my hyper tendancies. You must understand that you cannot ever mix alcohol with this type of medication.

Another thing I swear by is a relaxation CD I got that has soothing music and other calming sounds while a gentle voice talks me though relaxation techniques. After using it several times I am now often able to just tell myself to relaxe and follow the instructions of imagining my toes relaxing and slowly go all the way up to my head. I understand your love of being alone because I have been this way all my life and this allows you to do this in your own surroundings and under your own terms.

I understand your fears dear girl but you must find ways to master them as best you can. Perhaps even a phychologist would be good to buddy up with and help you to dig your way out of your anxiety. Now when I suggest that please undestand I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with your meantl health. It is just a means for you to get into a pertnership with someone you can trust until you are able to take control of your life back.

Don't try to sort this out on your own dear girl, You have obviously lost your confidence and there is nothing wrong with seeking help to get it back....and stay on this site and ask for help and reassurance whenever you need it. Maybe one day soon we will be calling you (I hope) "Happy Jane"

I sincerely wish you all the best.

Nuka

I understand

by dward - 2008-01-11 03:01:17

I totally understand what you are saying... Believe me.
(Try a full-on anxiety attack on stage playing in front of 5,000 people! And it's YOUR show!!)

I also agree with small steps, heck I agree with everything that has been said.

My point is:
Try not to get caught up in it. Just TRY to see yourself as a peaceful warrior instead of a victim.
I too found it REALLY easy to get caught up in the things I couldn't control. I have been there.

I just found that I actually HAD more control when I worked (and worked and worked) to start looking at my world differently... as a survivor!

That's all.
(Like I said - didn't think it would go over well.)

Oops..

by Broken Hearted Jane - 2008-01-11 03:01:20

I may have come off a little negative in my post, and I wish to set the record straight. Nuka: 'Broken Hearted Jane' is a bit of a joke (it was between that and TheTellTaleHeart or pacecadet---fun with phrases, that's all). dward: I wouldn't consider myself as residing in Pity City at all, but I appreciate where you're coming from. Nothing will change unless we make it. I've had the "why me?" conversation with myself plenty of times and I'm over it. I understand your reasons for that little pep talk, and it's the same kind of thing I'd tell my friends going through a hard time. I'm finding this is more difficult because it's not something I can avoid. If I were dwelling on the bad stuff I would not be so actively trying to amend the problem---seeing my hypnotherapist, asking my cardiologists for the names of therapists that specialize in the cases of people with previously established medical conditions, and posting here on this site. For the most part, I'm fairly well adjusted. I'm 22 years old and I want to be able to walk down the street without fearing I'll have a heart attack. Not totally unreasonable, I think. Everyone, thanks for your comments. I have been wary of medication for the anxiety because in the past it's always spaced me out, and not being able to think clearly really bothers me, Of course, so does the anxiety, so I'll have to tackle both problems at once. I think baby steps is the right idea. I may not go out to meet this guy tonight, but will definitely make plans with him some other time if not. I'll let you know! Thanks again, I will probably write more later.

Yes! ;-)

by pacergirl - 2008-01-11 04:01:40

I knew you were a strong woman! Just a bit of a rough spot is what I can see. Baby steps back then each step is a sure thing. Good for you Broken Hearted Jane!

Now, dward.... you are correct about one thing.... and that is what you were saying about not going over very well.

You have sparked some discussion and that is a very good thing. I don't see any Pity Parties here, just people seeking opinions and advise from those who have been through it. Lots of views, lots of chatter.... and an exchange of ideas.
However unpopular some opinions are everyone should be heard. That way when I decide how I feel about something I know I have considered many views to arrive at the correct conclusion for me. Now I am sure how I feel about Panic attacks. I've had them and it was baby steps .... sure footed ones that helped me come back.

pacergirl

Ahhhh but...

by dward - 2008-01-11 05:01:40

First Broken Hearted Jane - I am SO glad you interpretted where I was coming from!!!

Also GLAD that you recognize the "Poor me" stuff - That's what I was getting at because for most of us, it's REALLY easy to go there. Who could blame us right?

Second - to Pacer Girl. I was right about ONE thing? Now you have me curious... What was I wrong about?

Keep in mind, I didn't SAY anybody was wallowing in Pity City. I said "If you choose" with YOU being a generalized statement. I could have (or rather SHOULD have) said, "If we choose to wallow..."

In any event - you don't think that's right?


You make me smile

by pacergirl - 2008-01-11 05:01:53


I did not mean to imply that you were correct about just one thing. It is quite possible that you were right about more than just one.... I would have to think about that though. (I am saying this with a smile.) :-)

I always see more things that are good more than "wrong" Things don't always have to be wrong for me...they might be just not quite right. ;-)

I find it interesting that you care what I think. Many people don't take the time to consider about what others are thinking. You surprise me... in a good way. :-)

I did "feel" that you might be leaning toward the Pity City Idea though. Seems a bit cold to me. Of course I am in Kansas and it is very cold here weather wise. hee hee.

Have a great day....
pacergirl (no space)

p.s. Who knows we could end up being friends! :-)

You make me smile

by pacergirl - 2008-01-11 05:01:56


I did not mean to imply that you were correct about just one thing. It is quite possible that you were right about more than just one.... I would have to think about that though. (I am saying this with a smile.) :-)

I always see more things that are good more than "wrong" Things don't always have to be wrong for me...they might be just not quite right. ;-)

I find it interesting that you care what I think. Many people don't take the time to consider about what others are thinking. You surprise me... in a good way. :-)

I did "feel" that you might be leaning toward the Pity City Idea though. Seems a bit cold to me. Of course I am in Kansas and it is very cold here weather wise. hee hee.

Have a great day....
pacergirl (no space)

p.s. Who knows we could end up being friends! :-)

You could that cold up North

by pacergirl - 2008-01-11 06:01:29

Hey dward....

If you could keep some of that cold air up there.... I might be a warmer hearted Kansas girl down here! :-)

It's not my fault that Kansas is flat and there are no mountains to keep the cold up north! he he ehe he

The sun is shinning here today.... How about you? Shall I send some your way?

Pacergirl :-)
My spam filter reads hshpe (tranlation .... heart shaped) Now that's funny!

Cold??

by dward - 2008-01-11 06:01:54

I live in Canada.
Nuff said!

I understand completely

by gmnordy - 2008-01-11 09:01:20

I suffer from extreme anxiety, to the point that it causes my heart symptoms to increase as well. I have had depression for a long time, I would say over 15 years or more. I have always been an anxious person, but my anxiety increased after I got my PM and found out I have other things wrong, such as a 5.0 thoracic aneurysm, bicuspid aortic valve, and more. I fear every day I will drop dead like John Ritter did with his aneurysm. I also feel fear all around me. I hate to be in a car, always worried about being in an accident. I have social anxiety as well, I used to be great with people, not any more.
My treatment for the time being is medication. I am on Cymbalta and Buspar. I just started the Buspar because it is not habit forming like the Xanax or Valium I was taking. I will admit I do feel better, at least my fingers are not bleeding from me biting them....
Hang in there and try to listen to relaxation tapes or read an inspirational book. Take a long bath in some aromatherapy salts, and go have fun on your date!!
Hope I was of some help, you are not alone.
Debbi

Hello Jane ;-)!

by pacergirl - 2008-01-11 09:01:53


I am lending you one of my smiles because I seem to be overstocked lately! It hasn't always been this way. So sorry to hear about how you are feeling. I went through a grief process when i got my PM. took a long time to adjust to the new improved me. You will as well, adjust that is. There is some excellent advise already posted here so I will talk about something else....
I was reading your bio.... My goodness you are a very cool chick! Look at the things you enjoy doing! spying hee hee That is great, yes I know not actually doing the spying, but reading and enjoying films! You have some great things going for you. Many or all you can still do. :-) How cool is that. I can tell you I was very fearful at first. I started out the door using my baby step method. Just out the door by myself and then to the mailbox and then another day a bit further. I always kept my cell phone with 911 on speed dial. Panic attacks began to become less and less. Then I figure who gives a darn! I did not want to be in my house alone if I were going to kill over. I am doing great now.
Go on your date. Allow yourself to enjoy each minute of the event. I try not to look at the whole picture when I am overwhelmed. I break it down into smaller chunks of time.
Take care, have fun,
pacergirl

it will get better

by jessie - 2008-01-11 11:01:17

the shock of the pacemaker put me in to a sad state of affairs for awhile. i was a complete basketcase for awhile. i was told by plumerman well welcome to being human. do you know what he was right. for some reason that struck a cord with me and i found it humorous and i felt accepted like i was a part of this wonderful group of people and it was normal to feel these panicky feelings. as time went on they began to go these feelings. the more contact i had with you people the better i felt. now i am okay and i feel good very good. so hope this helps and hope that things are improving for you. remember baby steps jessie

Hi

by Peter.Nash - 2008-01-11 12:01:08

Hi Jane,
everyone has said everything ...I cant add anymore... you will get past this believe me. but it will take time don't expect too much to soon .

I know it is overwhelming and you can't see your way... Go to your Doc and get a small dose of meds just to help you over the hump.... and in the mean time my advice is this.. talk to everyone you can and keep in touch on this site.. and above all... and I think it is the most important read up about these panic attacks and REALLY get to understand what is going on with you . Only by understanding what is going on will you ever be able to do anything about it... but you have to believe in what you read... when I first looked it up.. I thought this is not me!!? but it was...and as soon as I accepted that I started to be able to make a difference... I had so much support from members on this site it gave me the strength to help my self.... I am by no means cured but I can now live quite a normal life as far as panic attack are concerned.....
Go get that Boy if you cant if he is worht his salts ring him and ask him to come and get you ...have a nice date ! Peter N

Ohhh This won't go over well, but...

by dward - 2008-01-11 12:01:55

I know I keep saying this, but I'm going to say it again... (Before I do, please keep in mind I too am in the same situation health-wise and I say this out of respect)
If you choose to wallow in "Pity City" and always think of yourself as a victim... you will always be a victim.
Is it easy to deal with our issues? CERTAINLY NOT! But ultimately, the choice on how we deal with things is up to us.
Is the glass half full or half empty??
Getting out and stimulating your mind via movies or a date is excellent, yet you are putting up roadblocks so you can sit and worry even more...?
By doing so, in reality, aren't you causing yourself MORE anxiety? More stress on your health?
Meditation is good, Self-help books are good (Try Anthony Robbins - "Awaken the Giant Within")
A last resort of course - should be to medicate.
But you need to work on your perspective!

Are you a victim or are you a survivor?!?!?

Superglue

by ElectricFrank - 2008-01-13 01:01:03

Look at this way..that pacemaker is your Super Glue which mends that broken heart.

best,

frank

sounds like me too

by Aztec - 2008-01-18 10:01:43

hi there, iam having the same issues i had a pm icd in aug 07 well since then i was scared to even drive far or go out in case i got a shock well ive had a ablation since then for my cardiomyopothy and the doc put me on a mild xanax it seems to work well and they riased my bata blocker and we will see, i know its scary but i just belive i will get through it as you will , God will never let go of our hands. take care :) smile.....

You know you're wired when...

Your old device becomes a paper weight for your desk.

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