Only 7 days to go help!
Hi Allan (41)
from Edinburgh Scotland here.
been having really heavy thoughts lately.I know it is vital to everybody in this club to encourage each other and i have felt helped by what i have read.I just feel sad that I am coming to the end of my hearts natural existence before pace maker implantation next wedensday.It makes me wonder if i will ever feel natural again.Can you truly ever forget about your pace makers presence?.
I dont think anyone can truly get there head around how huge it is to have something inside your body so controling .As nothing to me seems so personal has your heart beat.Only you guys can understand these thoughts because i am sure you have had them.
I guess i need to tell myself what is the the alternative half a life.
And also to regard my heart as still the core of my world and that it is my heart that keeps me alive not my pace maker that just assists it in its rythmn not it muscular strength.
I really dont want this whole situation to dominate my thoughts and i dont want to be scared or live in fear of it going wrong i guess the best thing to happen for me is to meet someone to talk to face to face who has a pacemaker that is why everyone on here feels this unique bond with each other.
Sorry to air all these thoughts but i just have to get them out of my system
kind regards to all allan