Dont Mess With Old Ladies
- by windway
- 2012-09-29 12:09:24
- General Posting
- 1930 views
- 2 comments
A Traffic Cop pulls over an Old Lady for Speeding
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Traffic Cop: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Traffic Cop: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Traffic Cop: You what!
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned.
Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license quizzically.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
Older Woman: Bet the lying devil told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!!!!!!
2 Comments
You know you're wired when...
You have a 25 year mortgage on your device.
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Nice one Welshy
by Tattoo Man - 2012-09-29 03:09:04
A guy I knew was pulled over for speeding on his motorbike:
Traffic Cop.."And how fast do you beleive you were travelling at Sir?"
Biker .."I know that I was doing 138 mph Officer"
TC.."How do you know that Sir?"
Biker.."Well, because I will only exceed the speed limit when I know that road conditions, visibility, knowledge of the terrain and other variables can be taken into account... as an experienced motorcyclist I see this as responsible riding"...and if I choose to exceed the limit , it it incumbent on me to know exactly how fast I am going"
TC.." I clocked you at 137mph".. but you have broken the law..do you admit this?"
Biker.."Yes"
TC.."OK..I want you to repeat after me"..."I have been a very naughty Biker"...IHBAVNB..."I promise never to do this again"..IPNTDTA...
TC.." So then Sir, I appreciate your honesty with me , so , this time I will not ticket you"
Biker.."Thank you Officer"
TC.."So tell me.I ride a bike too..just how fast does this baby go???"
True story...Hampshire, UK if you need to know
Tattoo Man,..in no way ever endorsing speeding