Hello to my new normal

Hello friends!

My name is Meghan. I am 30 years old and suffered cardiac arrest at the end of October last year. My husband was up having a midnight snack and heard me aginal breathing. He did CPR on me for 10 minutes while he called 911. Once there, the EMT's shocked me and rushed me to the hospital. I was put into an induced coma and when they tried to take me out of it about a week later I had another cardiac arrest. spent a week in the cardio intensive unit where I suffered from delusions (the weirdest thing I had one that there was a Kanye concert ourside my hospital window)!. I had my ICD placed and moved to St. Lukes for rehab for an additional week. I had to relearn how to sit up, walk, talk, go up stairs, how to balance and it was tough work.

Every doctor I have interacted with has told me I should have been dead or at the very best severly disabled. My mom and husband even made a game plan that I would move back to my parents basement.

I feel incredibly lucky to be alive and to have an amazing support group of friends and family but it can be overwhelming. I get so many texts, calls, etc. and I don't want to sound ungrateful but it is just a constant reminder and flash back to what I remember of my experience. My friends joke about what I said and I have no memory from 3 weeks before and almost all of my hospital stay. I know it was funny that I saw Kanye in my delustion but makes me cringe because I am usually the very put together, type A, reliable one. 

Am I just being ungrateful or what would you suggest I do? Sorry for the long message! 



by AgentX86 - 2023-02-16 00:51:30

Hell no! I don't say this too often but you deserve to think anything you feel like thinking.  I would be shocked if you didn't have some amount of PTSD. After what you've been through I'd find some sort of cognitive behavioral therapy, if for no other reason than to make sure you get through this in one piece.

Your friends joking could go either way.  It might relieve you of tension, remind you of how scared you were/are, or make light of deep psychological pain.  I'd find someone to help you make sure you're OK (you'll do it but may need help).  Adult has nothing to do with it (I'm 70, but adult??).

I'm as stoic as you, but after my CABG my insurance company had a nurse call twice a week for a month, then once for some time, to make sure I was OK and to teach relaxation skills, and such.  I didn't/don't think I need(ed) it but it did help.




by islandgirl - 2023-02-18 13:04:59

I had a SCA in July 2016.  30 min of CPR and 5 shocks.  I had a pacemaker which showed the entire event and I was asystole for 10 min.  My main problem was short-term memory for about a year.  I know I will never be the same.....outlook on life, patience--it definitely changed me.  I had another SCA in December 2019 and the ICD saved my life.  I passed out after the first shock and after a total of 4 shocks became conscious.  I was at a meeting so people around to call EMS.  I had also gone into asystole with this arrest as well.  My EP told me that I am more protected than anybody else with the ICD.  I remind myself of that statement all the time.

I did go to counseling, which I recommend as soon as you can.  I had to wait until the following calendar year because of my insurance.  I had seen (didn't remember) a psychologist that specialized in near-death experiences. Counseling may also be appropriate for your husband.

CPR saves lives and we are proof.  I am grateful for every day.  I feel like I survived for a reason.  Awareness is important.  We are the lucky few that survive.  Enjoy your life and don't let this stop you from travelling and pursuing your dreams.


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A properly implanted and adjusted pacemaker will not even be noticeable after you get over the surgery.