Disappointed

Some old timers may remember pieces of this story but ... 

In Jan 2007 I was hospitalized after a snowmobiling accident where I tried hugging a tree at full throttle. Long and short, they finally realized I didn't have broken ribs but was in heart failure and had a heart attack. A whole herd of heart specialists shuttled through my cell to share their thoughts. They all projected doom and concensus was I wouldn't live without a heart transplant. I declined. The surgeon told my bride to get family here because I wouldn't survive the surgery. After seeing to looks on my families faces I decided I was not going to feel sorry for myself, I was going to keep a positive upbeat attitude and let the body fall where it may.

Never forget the surgeon telling me if I survived I should run out and buy a lottery ticket because I was the luckiest patient he ever had. Needless to say I survived, but the surgeon kept up his bedside manner and informed us my heart wss shot and I wouldn't see another year. 

I redoubled my commitment to make the most of whatever time I had and not pull my loved ones down in dispair. 

As the yesrs have passed, I had to be hospitalized a few more times and doctors slways seem amazed I am still here. Now there's no question that I can no longer do everything I would like, but my family and I made the most of it snd cherished all the extra time we've been able to share.

We all know my run is coming to an end and are fine with that. How can we complain? 

So brings me to my topic, why am I disappointed? It's because when I come by here and read posts, it's all so negative, and frankly much I wonder what the whining is about. Look guys, nobody survives life, and you ain't gonna be first. Most don't know when their time will be up but don't waste whatever it is. Get out and enjoy life. Even little things like visiting a park can be refreshing. Enjoy your family and friends. It's great to ask questions and learn from experience here but don't assume you are about to die and give up. Life is too precious to waste


11 Comments

thanks

by new to pace.... - 2022-07-30 19:40:57

thank you Robo Pop for reminding us  to get out and smell the roses.

new to pace

Amen

by ar_vin - 2022-07-30 21:05:01

Robopop - your post is like a breath of fresh air!

Thanks for that.

Yet another whine !

by IAN MC - 2022-07-31 05:32:20

It is always good to hear from you Robo even when you're whining about other people whining.

.... but as we both know , a good whine can do you good   ( sorry that was a typo, it should have read " wine  " )

Cheers

Ian

Following on from Ian, “Bring a bottle”

by Gemita - 2022-07-31 05:49:28

ROBO Pop, you sound so much like my husband.  Nothing really worries him.   Even with all his health problems, he still attends hospital follow up appointments sounding positive as though he hasn’t a care in the world.  He focuses on what he can successfully do, although he will often try to push his body through what he cannot reliably do which is not something to be recommended.  Doctors are amazed he is so positive and engage with him enthusiastically, so happy to have found a UK National Health Service patient smiling and grateful for what the service has to offer. 

Of course the downside of all this is that he often comes away from appointments without answers to important questions, having focused instead on the many blessings he has and treating the appointment more like a social event.  Indeed one consultant said, “next time you come, bring a bottle”.  I thought that summed the appointment up nicely but it left me feeling we had missed the opportunity of really addressing the issues he was having.  

It is good to focus on the positive side of life, to have fun, to truly appreciate family and nature around us but we have to discuss our concerns sometimes too.  Life is not always a bowl of cherries and is certainly not good for everyone however hard we may try to make it so.  We do occasionally get success stories on this site and they are always a breath of fresh air as indeed are your posts ROBO Pop.  However the majority who come here (apart from a few unwelcome trolls) are genuinely looking for advice and personal experience from other members with electrical disturbances/structural heart conditions requiring pacemakers and/or ICDs.  I do not see their posts as being all negative.  The majority of us want to understand and accept our condition, the treatments available, to understand what a pacemaker can and cannot do for them.  They also come here looking for help in finding a way to improve their communication with their doctors on technical pacemaker matters.   I always look for something positive in their comments

Dissapointed

by Good Dog - 2022-07-31 09:22:03

When I reflect on how I feel about leaving this world, I harken back to a time;

When I was a little kid at the amusement park with my Mom hanging onto my arm and pulling me toward the exit:

Me: I don't wanna go!

Mom: Come-on, it is late and it is time to leave....

Me: NO, I don't wanna!! I'm not leaving!

Mom: Oh yes you are. Sorry, you don't get a choice. Too bad, it is time...

Me: No, No, No, I don't wanna

Mom: O.K. that is it. It is over! I am done, you don't get to come back. Too bad..........................the fun is over, say goodnight!

Robo Pop,

I truly appreciate your story and your sentiments.

THANKS!

Dave

Love the positivity!

by TLee - 2022-07-31 12:19:53

What I love about this is that you are saying, Enjoy life even with limitations that come. I think that a lot of the "whining" comes from the realization that we (most of us) aren't 20 any more. I can lie on my bed in the morning & feel like I could go for a run, but the reality is that I may need to settle for a leisurely walk, and that's OK. Maybe I'll invite family along, maybe I'll visit a favorite park, maybe I'll have a new experience & see new things. I know the importance of enjoying even the small & simple things in life, but a reminder is always good!

You make a good point...

by crustyg - 2022-08-01 08:34:32

...but some folk here - mostly the newly implanted or device just replaced - are really asking for help, even if it sounds like a complaint.

I don't recall where it comes from but I heard an old saying 'you can learn to cope with anything except a stone in your shoe.'

We all understand that, in general, happy contented folk don't post here, so there's a big element of ascertainment bias in the general tenor of contributions.

It's a Zen question, when do you stop striving to make things as good as possible and fall back on acceptance?  Debate.

IMHO, the Western attitude to life peddles the delusion that we are in control of our lives and destiny.  Eastern philosophies tend to accentuate the luck involved and a greater acceptance that 'stuff happens.'

I know *I* really enjoy your humorous contributions.

You're Spot on But Sometimes It's Tricky!

by SeenBetterDays - 2022-08-01 10:13:29

Robo Pop

You speak some wise words.  I have spent much of my time since having my machine wishing I could turn back time to when I didn't have a device running my heart and I could feel my old self again.  Crustyg is right, it is about accepting your situation and making the best of things.  I suppose I always think I can learn my way out of a situation.  There will be some setting change or new device that will revolutionise things and it's just a case of finding it. Delusional I know!  I will try my hardest to take on board what you've said and appreciate what I have instead of what I don't.  Sending you and your family warmest wishes and hoping there are lots more posts from you still to come.

I wish I could "Like" your comment

by wendikt - 2022-08-01 14:04:05

So refreshing to hear someone else sees all the complaining/whining. I don't know if you ever peek at the Facebook pacemaker groups, but WOW! Now, there's a lot of whining. It's amazing. I just recently joined those, and I truly had no idea so many people consider their lives so affected and sometimes just over, just because they got a pacemaker. I got mine at age 17 and I've had one for 29 years. I just recently got number 5. I've never known another person with a pacemaker. I've literally never thought it was a big deal. I got it, and I moved on. Lived my life. Maybe that's a product of getting it when you're so young. These devices are meant to improve and prolong our lives, not the other way around. I've always thought it was kinda cool having one and that it makes me "special" in some way. Anyway, thanks for making me feel not alone in being okay with it.

"It is what it is'

by knb123 - 2022-08-01 14:08:59

Robo Pop, I appreciate your message. Life is full of ups and downs, as your post vividly illustrates.

A gentleman who'd lived through numerous health incidents once told me, "KNB, life is full of hills and valleys. Try to remember that when you're on top of a hill, it may not be forever, that sometimes you'll be in a valley. And that won't be forever, either."

I remembered his advice when I received a cancer diagnosis and came out the other side...and then, more recently, when I had a pacemaker implanted. I take life as it comes--and hope for the best. Good luck to you.

Appreciate the Perspective

by MinimeJer05 - 2022-08-01 21:40:01

RoboPop,

 

Thank you for sharing your story -- I haven't been around here long enough to know it but I find it fascinating and very encouraging to see and hear all about your journey. And I thank you again for sharing the words of encouragement and reminding us all just how fragile life is. 
 

I think I do personally struggle with the idea of death and how sudden it can be -- I always try to stop and smell the roses and most of my friends and family would describe me as a mostly positive and care-free person, but I'll admit I have my bad days and for me, it's just the self doubt and the not knowing. 
 

But hey, such is life. All we can really hope for is a long and healthy life and possibly a quick and painless exit whenever that day comes. 
 

Take care

Jer

You know you're wired when...

Muggers want your ICD, not your wallet.

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