hi, i never use forums or anything like this so sorry if my post etiquette or anything is incorrect. but i'm a 19 yr old female and march 29th 2022 i had an s-icd implanted. ever since leaving the hospital i've been extremely depressed. the scarring i have is terrible, it's mostly on the side of my ribcage under my arm and i hate looking at it. the device itself is also clunky and can be seen through my skin and it's always sore and trying to sleep comfortably is impossible. and about a month after my surgery my boyfriend broke up with me due to the stress from everything that happened to me. ever since that hospital stay my quality of life has plummeted and i'm exhausted all the time from the beta-blockers i'm on and i'm worried none of it's going to get better or go away. my cardiologist warned against me using antidepressants because of the type of heart condition i have so there's nothing i can do artificially to help myself either. i've seriously considered having the device removed and just accepting the risks that come along with it. because i don't see myself ever being okay with any of this.
can anyone offer any advice because i don't really know what to do to help myself.