I'm new and just had ICD implant
I had my ICD implanted this past Tuesday, Sept 28, 2021 I'm feeling pretty unsettled and anxious about things. I'm hopiong to find others here who are either experiencing similar things or, better yet, have more experience in dealing with them.
I'm a 50 year old male with a diagnosis of mild non-obsturctive hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I've had excercise restriction most of my life but still managed to play Div I baseball and continue with exercise throughout most of my life. Earlier this year I had a presyncopol episode while at crossfit which was likely due to a 10 min run of ventricular tachycardia. After further testing it was found that i also have a deep and lenghty run of myocardial bridging. Unforutnatley the bridging has caused significant scarring. I was also found to have frequent and long runs of unsustained ventricular tachycardia during a 30 day monitored period. To mitigate all said issues I've been fitted with a dual chamber ICD (medtronic cobalt xt) and put on beta blockers (metropolol 25mg/day) and blood thinners (Eliquis 5 mg/ 2x per day) due to an associated anuearism in my heart.
I'm married with three kids (two boys 20 and 8, and a daughter who's 6) and own a small ranch in a little lake community in Farmington. I've also learned to manage a panic/anxiety disorder and alcoholsim (sober since Jan 5, 2002) by using support programs.
I find myself worrying about irrational things... what if my heart has an infection from surgery, what if it causes me to have a heart attack (I'm sure my body doesn't love foregin objects sitting in my heart), side effects from medications etc... i also wonder if I'll be able to get back to normal again. Though my doctor says i can exercise again after healing (with some restricitions of course) i wonder if i'll be able to be courageous enough to do it. Sometimes I feel sad and just wish i didn't have a genetic heart issue. I also worry about every little twinge, palpiation, little ache, etc... and start thinking catastrophically. I know this should fade with time, but I just wanted to share where i'm at. Any and all comments welcome!!!