Hello! I have recently had my first replacement surgery to fit a dual lead pm and the box seems extremely visible which i'm really disappointed about. I wasn't told this would be the case prior to surgery (my previous pm was under the muscle and entirely non-visible - except the scar) so i'm finding it a bit upsetting and hard to accept.
I have discussed this with my pm tech but I live in Scotland and everything is on the NHS so it's not something they will change for aesthetic reasons. This means even if i say i don't want the pm over the muscle next time, i'll still be waiting 10 years until my next replacement.
I'm wondering if anybody has experienced similar and how you came to terms with accepting your new cyborg look? I don't mind the scars much, it's just the hard lump of metal on my chest that does not look or feel like a part of me. It's really knocked my confidence and i'm struggling a lot to feel good about my body image.
Let me know if you sympathise or have any pacemaker body image stories of your own. Thanks and hope everyone is keeping well in these strange times!