My Story M (21)
People dont think I have a ICD, people think I'm normal.
I feel normal at times, when I do have my shirt on, when there is no physical bonding.
I'm above average in terms of attractiveness, especially as an asian. 5'10 and abs) People see me as this figure, who is so confident and with his whole life together.
But I dont. Far from it.
Im scared to take off my shirt. Im very scared of confrontation and fighting with a ICD, getting shocked in middle of a fight. I'm not small, but a surge of andrenaline could potentially shock me. Im scared of doing cardio exercises. I get anxiety over thinking I am having a heart attack. Im scared that people will touch my ICD and find out that I'm not normal.
Im scared people wont accept me for who I really am.
I would love to meet someone my age (F) where we can share our vulnerabilities. So we can feel accepted. So we can deeply understand each other. So we can celebrate that we are not normal.
Male friends are awesome too. Lets share experiences.