Severly Depressed

Depression

by AgentX86 - 2020-02-18 10:56:31

First, Welcome to the group. You probably won't find a more understanding group of people on the internet. We're all in the same boat (though perhaps on different lakes;-).

Depression isn't at all uncommon among pacemaker patients, particularly those who didn't have any idea they'd have one, until they did.

You say that you're on metoprolol and the dosage has been adjusted. How? What is it now? Metoprolol is well handled by most people but it does often cause the tiredness you describe. It's common. Tell your EP about your symptoms and suggest a different beta blocker or calcium channel blocker. There are many alternatives to metoprolol if they can't get the dosage right. You need the meds but you also need a life. I go here first.

It may also be mainly depression which may call for professional help. Don't be embarrassed about it. It's normal for those who go through trauma. They may put you on antidepressants but I wouldn't go there without seeking help from someone who treats depression for a living (NOT your EP).

Ditto

by Pacemaker_Sally - 2020-02-18 11:56:25

I have also been struggling with situational depression. Interrupted sleep and not being accommodated in your workplace are not helpful. Please put yourself and your health first. Things will start to shift but you might need to treat your depression and allow yourself to heal (in mind body spirit) first. 

perfectly normal

by dwelch - 2020-02-18 12:17:28

Depression is perfectly normal as you may have seen in other posts here.  We all handle this differently, but particularly if you got an overnight surprise pacer compared to days/weeks/months or in my case a few years before I got it.   

With or without it being a surprise folks adapt in certain ways, some have issues related to the "am I broken" thing, or other types of thoughts.   

You are now months into this but going back to work also varies, I am on my fifth device and typical is a few days after implant last couple at least were mid week and I waited until monday to go back.  started driving again a few days later over the weekend.   The full recovery takes weeks as you now know.

pacer number one though has long term sleeping adjustments, as mentioned above your meds may also be playing a role.   dont be afraid to talk to your EP about minimum pacer setting and if you have a sleep mode where it changes that setting at some point in the night.  

as far as depression, seek professional help if you cant find your own diversions to keep you from those thoughts and/or find a way to either not have thoughts or have them affect you.  the sleep and other things could all be in a very small way a traumatic event, not full blown PTSD but more of a case of this change in your life started essentially with the pacer, weeks of adjustment recovery, heart is ideally better now/fixed, but is feeling and working differently as far as you are concerned which can/does effect sleep so it is a long chain of events that started with this one thing.  mental health is as important as physical.   near sighted or a broken leg you go get those treated.   depression or others you can get those treated short term or long term. this doesnt mean drugs, ideally no drugs, instead tools you can use to manage your health.  like exercising or diet change for some phyiscal thing.  give it a try, cant hurt if you dont like it you dont have to go back, doesnt have to be a phychiatrist (might want to give you meds) or a phycologist can be just a councelor.

just rambling here, bottom line(s).  the thing is saving your life, be thankful.  depression is perfectly normal, solutions to that are very much individual one solution does not work for everyone.   sleep issues are perfectly normal, take a while to adjust, months, first year, may need to visit doc for adjustments to device.  your new meds may be playing a role here.   

we are here, welcome to the club

Thank you

by flgal - 2020-02-18 12:56:44

Thank you all for your comments and suggetions.  I appreciate it.

Depressed

by Good Dog - 2020-02-18 13:48:50

I can identify so well with your depression and your history. I too woke up a week after I turned 38 in good health and ended-up in the emergency room with complete heart block. I had a new pacemaker two days later and went into a severe depression. Yhis was at a time before the internet. The doctor did not give me any information and I remember looking out the window watching my neighbors shovelling snow. I am thinking that I am relatively young and I can never do that again. I felt that my life was over. I couldn't sleep, because I was laying around all day and I wasn't accustomed to such a high heart rate when I went to bed. 

To make a long story short, within 6 months I was able with the help of others to pull myself out of depression. At some point I started to feel better physically and began to get much more active. Suddenly, I realized and made up my mind that I was going to live my life as though I didn't have a pacemaker. I eventually realized that I could do anything that anyone else could do. Life started getting much better. Fast forward 33 years and here I am. I have had my ups and downs, but it always gets better. I have lived a good life and my pacemaker has not held me back from doing anything.

As someone posted previously, you really need to work with your doctors and get your pacemaker settings optimized as well as your prescriptions. You have options and you really need to use them. Tell your Doc what you are going through. If he can't or won't help you, find a new doctor. 

Antother thing to keep in mind is that when you read the posts on this site from folks having problems, it isn't typical of pacemaker patients in general. These folks are in a very small minority. My point is that most PM patients live perfectly normal long natural lives. Don't let your current issues weigh on you. Take-on the problems you have by advocating for yourself with your doctors. Give yourself some time, but if your depression isn't resolved in a reasonable periodd of time, ask your regular primary care doctor to help you. There is a lot of medication that can help if you need it. As I said though, give yourself some time and go easy on yourself. You need to trust that it always gets better. It will! Just keep plugging away at it.

You have this group here as a sounding boaard if you need it. It is good to get your feelings out. Don't stuff them. Hang in there. I wish you nothing but the very best!

Sincerely,

David

Depression

by Theknotguy - 2020-02-18 17:51:42

The shock of getting a heart device especially when you aren't expecting it can make you depressed.  You have to adjust to a new life and really hadn't planned on any of it.  Based upon your description, your boss isn't helpful either.  

Question in my mind is if you work for a larger corporation or a small business.  (I'm not looking for an answer, just trying to give you options.) Anyway, if working for a larger corporation, his attitude and reaction to your illness could land him in a lot of hot water as far as the corporation goes.  Harassment of a sick employee is a big no no.  Unfortunately bosses in smaller business can get away with things.  Even then, some states have a dim view on harassment by bosses.  So you may have some options there too.  Oh, and for the moment, you are still sick.  Even if the pacemaker has resolved your problem you still have to adjust to the new life and that takes time.  

As far as depression, some people with heart problems and getting a heart device do have problems with depression.  So don't feel you are alone.  After I got my pacemaker under traumatic conditions, I worked with a psychologist who specialized in trauma and heart problems.  Yes, there are people like that out there.  And, the state I live in allows you to work with psychologists for as long as you need.  So that was another benefit of which I wasn't aware.  You may have the same situation in the state in which you reside.  

Please don't feel you're at fault.  You can't help it that your grandparents swam in the wrong gene pool.  With the wonders of modern medical science, you can look forward to having a normal life.  

I hope things get better for you in the near future.

It’s ok to feel emotions

by cagedliberty - 2020-02-19 02:03:33

First of all, I hope you have speedy healing. I just wanted to reach out and tell you that it is ok to feel down and I also had depression after my surgery.
 

I went from having a care free life to requiring a pacemaker in two days.That was eight weeks ago. I didn't have time for a deep insightful consultation or time to even think about the impact having a pacemaker would have on my life.

It was only after the surgery that I had time to contemplate what had just happened and I realized that I was not mentally prepared. The surgery left me with some complications that made doing small tasks almost impossible. I didn't have any support system and had to quit work. This led to depression and weeks of wondering if it was worth all the pain and loss of living.

I am eight weeks post surgery and the cloud has finally lifted. I told a friend today that I would make a mental note that it takes two months for me to get past the mental block I have been facing for when I need the next surgery.
 

I am still not sure what is wrong with me and I know I still have an uphill battle to get back (or close) to my old way of living but I finally feel hopeful and I think that over time, you will too. Sadly, time is both our friend and our enemy as the waiting game plays out. But in the end time is the best healer.

I am not familiar with your medication but I would echo the sentiments of the others and suggest you talk to your doctor and see if they can help. A doctors note may also help your boss understand your circumstances better.

Lots of hugs and healing wishes for you!

A really good comment

by Lexitoo - 2020-02-22 11:11:51

Cagedliberty....this was a really helpful comment..  I am seven weeks out from my surgery and have been dealing with issues and depression as well. I actually went on an antidepressant for two weeks and have just stopped because of worse side effects. Your comment just hit all the common sense spots and I hope it helped others as it did me. This too will pass.  Thanks.

To Lexitoo

by cagedliberty - 2020-02-22 15:28:45

I am glad my words helped you. I have been facing my new reality alone and this group has been the first sliver of support I have received. I am grateful that I am also able to reciprocate some of that support. This too shall pass and we will do it together.
 

Beta blocker

by LondonAndy - 2020-02-24 10:46:29

I can't help with the depression as I did not experience that, but I can certainly relate to the tiredness and would agree it is worth asking your doctor to change it.  I moved from Metoprolol to Nebivolol, thanks to my Doc, and found it has less of an impact on me.