“Wow”

PATIENCE

by Gemita - 2019-12-05 05:54:41

Hello Pacer2019,

Personally I believe you have done really well and that you are pushing yourself too fast and too hard and expecting too much.  I would be very happy with your progress.  You have come far since your pacemaker implant.  Perhaps with some adjustments to your settings and building up more slowly to get back to where you were pre-implant, you might start winning matches again, but if not, is that so bad ??  Isnt it the taking part, being with your companions and the healthy exercise that you are getting, all that really matters?

If you had broken a leg, I do not think you would be looking for these instant fixes.  So maybe give your heart, which is such a precious organ, a little more time.  Build up slowly and safely and you may just win the battle without having to retire from what you love.  Good luck

upper limit

by Tracey_E - 2019-12-05 10:06:02

What is your upper limit? Two things, next time the monitor says 125, count manually to make sure it's correct. And when you have your next appointment, tell them. Your upper limit might need to be raised, or they might need to turn on rate response to give you an extra boost. Until then, I would not be pushing too hard if your rate isn't going over 125. Your body needs more than that for a hard workout. 

Thanks

by Pacer2019 - 2019-12-05 10:48:31

I think it makes sense to step back some - the season ends Dec 18. I’m trying to make up matches I missed (5) and the remaining ones (2) .when I went out Oct 20th I was on track to win the league- my pride and ego has me convinced I could still win - I imagined winning the league even after a setback like having a pacemaker - I could be a legend !

After a devastating loss last night ( part of the reason I returned when I did was my scheduled opponent would be a good warm up win)  i had a talk with myself .....”guess what ..... you’re not going to win this league “.......

I would like to think I can play the matches remaining and go easy....be more tactical and surgical than aggressive with a style based on stamina/mobility-   But I know in the heat of battle that’s difficult.

yes ...I should be happy to be able to do what I’ve been able to - maybe I’ve crossed the line where my pursuit of fitness could have the opposite effect of being fit - I’ve told people 100 times (usually in the Crossfit gym) getting hurt is the opposite of getting fit- maybe that’s where I am for now with the hope of with more time returning.

For now MAYBE I can dial back on competing and play more friendly meaningless matches? 

Losing sucks and winning is very seductive but I don’t want people standing around at my funeral saying “damn why didn’t he take it easy until he went back to the doctor “ ...... doubtful I would be applauded for going down fighting. 

I know I post a lot and have a hard time understanding the detailed technical aspects of pacing .... maybe understanding isn’t what I really want right now.  This site to me has been more about the mental part of things than physical. 

I appreciate the opportunity from some (not the critics) to advise and talk through things - it’s helpful.  As a warrior it’s hard to be patient - I’ve fought the battle with heart disease for 13 years now trying to not step on a land mine while constantly telling myself everything will be OK - it’s exhausing.  Rare is the time when it’s not on my mind . 

So thanks again and  I’m glad I am not in this alone . 

YOU ARE A WINNER . . .

by Gemita - 2019-12-05 13:50:33

by having achieved so much already.  I didn't mean to come across as "insensitive" to your determination to get more out of yourself.  I guess I can't fully appreciate what it is to be a winner because I always come in second.

I think you will do really well with your pacemaker if you give it a little more time, get your settings optimised for you and listen to your body a bit more.  And I really don't think that your matches should be regarded as meaningless.  Each time you play you should see a steady improvement and that has to be a positive result.  

You have got a very open, easy way of expressing yourself Pacer2019 which is much appreciated, so keep posting

yes

by Pacer2019 - 2019-12-05 14:10:47

I very much apprecuate what has given me some perspective and your taking time to respond is as appreciated as well - it really means alot to have folks with the honesty to express what they think ...that only comes when someonbe cares. I was once told hate is not the opposite of caring or love.... indifference is - so thaks for not being indifferent !

This seems to be a safe place to be honest and I feel comfortable being an open book with out fear  - see even aging comservatives like safe spaces! - Certinaly there is the occasional "get off my lawn" attitude but I get that - we all ahve different callings and circumstances. Those are overwhgelmed by many others who demonstrate parient and concern as you have

To be emotionally vulnerable seems pretty common as it realates to illness and disease- all deal with that differently - in person I talk incessantly ...on the internet I type.  I told my best friend recently who was being short with me because they didnt feel well "hey ! Iam not the one that made you sick I want to help you" ..... which turned out releasing  on someone was helpful to them! lol

So  to the critics I would say .... if it makes you feel better take your shot! Ill say "youre welcome and Im glad I could helpyou feel better "

again thank you very much

a recent PM installation

by lucentio - 2019-12-06 00:38:32

I can't comment on the physical side of a recent PM implant.  I am  a competitive bridge player and since my implant in early October my bridge playing has improved tremendously compared to August and September when at times I had almost fallen asleep at the table.