How have others felt post surgery?

life is too short

by Violet West - 2018-10-07 20:12:57

It can be pretty disconcerting when one stares mortality in the face for the first time.

I think you need to talk to a professional.

but it may be longer than you planned.

by AgentX86 - 2018-10-07 20:52:24

I'm the opposite.  I "know" they're going to fix my heart (it's just a pump and, at least so far, the parts have been available).  What I don't want is to be broke, stuck in a welfare nursing home with nurse ratched and I certainly don't want that for SWMBO!  I'm all for living now but I'm not about to forget that I also have to live tomorrow.

Post implant

by Theknotguy - 2018-10-07 21:34:36

It's hard to face your own mortality, especially at age 39.  And yes, your wife is probably wondering what's going through your mind.  However, it's pretty normal for some people.  Question is, how long it's going to last.  Some people getting pacemakers go through a period of depression.  

I won't go into details but I was pretty beat up after getting my pacemaker.  I'm still doctoring for broken ribs from CPR and it's been five years now.  Shortly after getting my pacemaker I made an appointment with and worked with a psychologist because I had heard people can get depression post pacemaker implant.  She really helped me to work through the hundreds of ideas going through my mind at lightning speed.  I didn't get depression but she helped me get rid of the more radical ideas floating around.  Depression can take many forms and it doesn't hurt to talk with a psychologist.  A lot of medical insurance plans will pay for the appointments. 

Eventually your life gets back to normal and you go back to getting annoyed at little things.  You still keep the big picture in the back of your mind but you aren't into the radical interpretion.  

You've got a long life to live with your pacemaker.  Hope you can enjoy it.
 

Sounds like an excuse

by Grateful Heart - 2018-10-07 22:06:37

"Pushing the honesty boundary with friends and family".  Why?  Don't sell your soul because you have a medical condition.  To thine own self be true. 

Life is too short....so live your life and be the best person you can be.  If you have children, then set a good example for them.  Show them you can come back from this setback.  You wouldn't want them to give up....would you?  

You say you have a wife and family.....so put them first, they still need you.  Be there for them.  Learn all you can about your condition and device and educate yourself.  Knowledge is power! 

Just so you know, I have not viewed your you tube posting yet.

It sounds like you are still in the grieving stages, understandably, but you have to get through it.  If you need professional help....then get it.

Your post hit a nerve with me.  I recently had a situation where someone completely lied about something I said.  My integrity came into question and that is very important to me.  Don't compromise yours. 

"When we die does it really matter what our 401k balance is"? you ask.  Maybe not but .....when we die......it matters how we lived.

Grateful Heart

welcome to adulting 2.0

by Tracey_E - 2018-10-08 11:18:31

(adulting 1.0 was starting the 401k)

Facing our mortality can be a big blow and everyone responds differently. There's nothing wrong with a bit of  YOLO mentality but if you are lying to yourself as well as friends and family, if you are putting yourself in danger, then it's time to talk to someone about dealing with things in a healthier way. Doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life on the sofa, but odds are pretty high you're going to live long enough to want that 401k.

Did you know that statistically, the pacermaker will not shorten our lives? I've been paced every beat since I was 27, I'm 52 now. No doctor has ever told me that this will shorten my life, but living with a heart condition has made me see that every day is a gift. Cliche, but it's true. If I'd been born the same year as my mom, technology wasn't what it is today and I probably wouldn't have seen my 30th birthday. As it is, I'm healthy and active, a mom, a business owner, and have a streak of what my family has called crazy but I simply see as a healthy zest for life. 

How sensitive should you be to the opinions of those who love you? When what you do affects them. My husband rolls his eyes at a lot of my activity choices, but I always come back in one piece. I may be bruised up, I may limp home, but no one is hurt but me. So he can roll his eyes all he wants but he doesn't get an opinion. I like to push limits but rarely put myself in any real danger. 

Life threatening experiences change us

by LondonAndy - 2018-10-08 18:39:00

It is a common saying that having a life-threatening experience changes our outlook on life.  For workaholics they are suddenly reminded that family and loved ones are more important than deadlines, all those things we planned to do at some point in our lives suddenyl seem at risk.  And doubtless there are lots of other examples.  You don't say why you have ended up having a pacemaker, but no doubt it was to save you from a potentially life threatening situation.

But its only been a week for you. 

Your profile says that you are a "former entrepreneur turned business consultant", and you are doubtless used to presenting a positive, can-do image to clients.  Perhaps you are not being honest to some because you see yourself as damaged in some way, no longer the "full on" answer to your client's needs, even if the people you are doing this with are friends rather than clients. You are lying to yourself.  

It will take time to adjust to it - not just the physical healing, but the mental effect it has on you.  As you read back through posts on here there is a wide variety of reactions.  Even though I believe my pacemaker story has been entirely positive, I still come here almost daily.  (As my pacemaker was inserted under something of an emergency situation I had no time to think about them in advance (which can be a good thing!) and so I am still learning what some of the issues can be from the generous contributions from many very experienced fellow pacers)

Knowledge is power - understand your new situation, but don't let it rule your life, and in time your new electronic friend will fade into the background of your consciousness. Your family need to understand it will take you time to adjust: in my opinion they are the ones who should be giving you space.  Gently remind them of this if you have to. 

And here's one of my favourite posts, from an 84 year old: https://www.pacemakerclub.com/message/33961 

Just part of the grieving process...

by BOBTHOM - 2018-10-08 19:31:30

Just a normal part of the process.  Do but don't over do.  Research your condition and options.  If it's heart/pacemaker related you'll find alot of good material out here and alot of good people who have gone through and are still going through it.  And just when you think you've got it really bad, you'll find someone out here going through worse.   Just like everyone else out in the world, no one is guaranteed how long they have.  Find the happy balance that works for you.  Make sure you plan the things you've always wanted but temper it with your physical limitations.  You don't want to make things worse.  You may also be around longer than you think so temper your spending with enough reserves for the future.  As far as telling people what you think or doing things based on what they think, I've never really done that.  I have excluded alot of people from my life because I found out how fake they really are and I don't have time to waste on people like that.  It's the ones who say "If you need anything call me" and then when you say "You know, I could use....." and suddenly they're to busy, even some times to busy to just sit and chat much less a ride to the doctors or picking up a prescription.  Freinds like that I don't need.  Sorry, rambling here.  I can't tell you how many times I've been given 5 years or less (in one case 6 months) and after 21 years I'm still here and still fighting for another day!  And in those years I've traveled, reconnected with old friends, disconnected from fake ones, spent time with loved ones, and spent way to much time in the ER.  I've fought with doctors, declined treatments, researched and found better therapies, and most importantly, had some really great steak dinners at some renowned restaurants!   

Planning for those golden years may not seem like a reality anymore but you never know what new therapies and technologies will present themselves.  Find the happy balance of living a happy life regardless of how long it may or many not be!

Good luck!